GF calls it quits still has signs she may want to be together, don't want to lose her

[JoeDurant3]

After 3 years of dating, my girlfriend wanted to call it an end last night. Our relationship was already hanging by a thread and this weekend was supposed to be an eventful weekend with us working on things and me showing her that I wanted to be with her and work on us.

I won’t go into the full details but what I want to mention is that at the end of the day it was mostly on me for the fact that I would often focus on trying to discuss our problems rather than work on the solution. Additionally not always consciously considering her feelings or what she wanted to do didn’t help.

The break up conversation is what got to me. We had our arguments and I thought it was wrapping up. As she started to walk out, I told her I would have her clothes and books back to her by the end of the week. The look on her face then completely changed and she said I was unbelievable, in that I was going to let her walk away. I assumed that she had made up her mind and no amount of talking or arguing could change that. Furthermore, my intention was to give her space and to show her in a week or two my progress to want to work on this for us.

Obviously no guy is a mind-reader, but in that I thought that she wanted me to be more aggressive and had a desire to work things out? But the body language and her tone while talking (in addition to her saying this is the end of us) lead me to think she didn’t want this anymore.

So now I’m here trying to figure out what to do and how to tackle this as I still do want to be with her.To note we are similiar in that we are both indepdent, hard-headed and emotional to an extent. The pros that she still may want to be together is for one the above example when she said I did nothing to stop her, her still having the keys to my house, and also finding out today that after running into her mother the fact that she did not tell her mother about it.

[JoeDurant3]

It's not that I intentionally kept doing it or not fully comprehending, part of it is that old habits die hard. So in this instance she said she was fed up and tired of me talking about it and not making the progress she wanted.

Yes, I am willing and do want to fight for her, but I'm stuck trying to figure out how to exactly do that in making a point across. I hear other people (predominantely men) telling me she is manipulating me.

So I attempt to contact her but (given the facts above), she asks me what more there is to talk to that I "broke her heart". I advise her on my intentions and she stated that we could talk though she still stands behind everything she said.

I know only I can answer this but... Is this developing into one of those instances where we both need to spend some time and space apart? Do I need to think about the trigger actions and relay that. What if I am the one thinking yes I want her back, but it is a sacrifice and compromise to myself because in also changing the things she wants I am changing myself too on other things that I know are not wrong/the problem?

[SapphireBerry]

I think 3 years is quite a long time, it may have gotten a bit tensional because you guys may be growing together instead of apart
Just give her some space, if you love her you need to just spend a bit of time away from her so she can think.
If you start talking again just give it some time to tell her you miss her a bit, take it slowly
And dont pester her about it cuz you'll push her away, just try make it up to her and maybe take her out to dinner and discuss it over
if its not 'scene material'.

Sapphire x