He think's i've snooping.. what do i do....!?

[redrose1]

Before I divulge I'd like to say I'm innocent here and don't snoop on my bf .

I'm seeing this guy (approx 1 yr) and I took him home in my car two days ago. When I got back home he called me and said he cant find his 2nd phone. I looked and it wasn't in my flat or my car. He said he thinks he used it in my car but he cant remember so he was looking in the grass etc at his house. Anyway 20 mins later I had to go out again. I put my black rubbish bag in the bin cupboard outside and when I turned around I saw his phone on the floor in the corner of the bin cupboard. I called him straight away and took him the phone (I didnt even switch the phone on). At this stage the only thing I can think is that he dropped the phone (the phone was a little damaged when I found it) and someone picked it up and got rid off it again as they didn't want it for some reason.?!

So after I gave him the phone he called back and said "have I got something to tell him?". He said his call list/record has been deleted and he was going to call the phone company to see what calls were made. It's important to say that 4 new text messages on his phone were UNREAD when I gave him the phone. If I did read a message he would know because you cannot mark the messages as unread after you've read them. Plus He admitted himself he could be paranoid...

Two hours later I messaged him and basically he told me to f**k off... Five hours after that he messages and says 'Hello'......? Upto now we've not spoken and he's not responded to a message I've sent him. What do I do now? I've done nothing wrong. I'm not stupid because if I did want to snoop in his phone I wouldnt delete a call register (my phone has unlimited calls) and tell him I found his phone because I know he would suspect I did it. If I wanted to snoop I would have kept the phone (seeing as he thought he lost it) and do what I wanted to. Please help....

[michelle23]

Maybe you should be more worried about the fact that hes so pissed off about this? It sounds to me like he has something to hide. Do you really trust this guy? And why does he have a second phone?

He should not be soo defensive and angry unless hes messing around and trying to hide it from you.

It all screams suspicion to me. you should be the one telling him to f**k off!

[redrose1]

Maybe you should be more worried about the fact that hes so pissed off about this? It sounds to me like he has something to hide. Do you really trust this guy? And why does he have a second phone?

He should not be soo defensive and angry unless hes messing around and trying to hide it from you.

It all screams suspicion to me. you should be the one telling him to f**k off!

Thanks Michelle that's so true. If I did snoop then I wouldn't be bothered with the way he's acting now. Part of me wishes I did now....

[HeartIsAching]

I'd be more concerned with his appalling behavior. Telling you to **** off, then texting you with "hello" a few hours later? I think you're well shut of him.

[michelle23]

Thanks Michelle that's so true. If I did snoop then I wouldn't be bothered with the way he's acting now. Part of me wishes I did now....

so what are you going to do now?

[VincenzoG91]

Sounds like he cares about his phone more than he cares about you. And also that he is hiding something from you.

[smackie9]

Sounds to me he is looking for an excuse to break up with you.

[redrose1]

so what are you going to do now?

Well I want to speak to him but I don't see why I should call contact him again. It's strange because why message and say hello and then ignore me.

He is too paranoid - I'm not sure if its due to previous relationships. I should also add that he has 4 children. When I met him approx 5 months into the relationship he told me he just found out a girl (apparently he was not in a relationship with her) was expecting a baby for him!

The baby is here now and he says that he never wants kids AGAIN or at least he'd want to get married etc before he has another child.... I dont have any kids and don't currently want any. His other three kids are 7,11 and ,13 .

So with this situation I'm always aware the mothers of his children and wonder if anything is going when he visits them on etc. He doesn't seem interested in kids very much which leaves a bad taste in my mouth....

[redrose1]

apart from all of this we get on really well and I see him regularly...

[michelle23]

lol redrose these are all HUGE red flags. You should be running for the hills. Are you a 16 year old schoolgirl? Or just VERY naive? Sorry but 4-5 kids with how many different women? He has no interest in the kids- obviously a scumbag and he goes completely mental coz he thought you may have looked at his phone-obviously untrustworthy

You should be running a mile from him. Soon enough hell knock you up too and youll never again see him. Sound fun being a single mother?

[VincenzoG91]

Redrose1, imagine yourself as a single mother, struggling to get child support from a guy who is already dealing with child support for four other kids. Is that what you want? Because that's where this is headed. Take this phone situation as a lucky break, a chance to back away from this loser before he gets you pregnant.

[redrose1]

lol redrose these are all HUGE red flags. You should be running for the hills. Are you a 16 year old schoolgirl? Or just VERY naive? Sorry but 4-5 kids with how many different women? He has no interest in the kids- obviously a scumbag and he goes completely mental coz he thought you may have looked at his phone-obviously untrustworthy

You should be running a mile from him. Soon enough hell knock you up too and youll never again see him. Sound fun being a single mother?

Nope I'm not 16, I'm 27! The first three kids are with one woman. He sees his kids but sometimes when I ask how they are his voice drops and he says he doesn't know......?! He lost his job so money is tight for him and he feels he can't provide for his kids properly. But last week I actually helped him get a job (and his cousin in fact) as I work in recruitment. In thepast year i've done a lot for him (but never lend him money) so I just find the whole situation odd. Everyone is right though, his reaction is very fishy...

Just before the baby was born I brought him two baby outfit - my .bf thanked me and said no one has never done that for him or his kids before. Then two weeks ago I brought the baby a toy and my bf flipped out on me saying I shouldn't buy it and how he's not accepting it.... I told him I'll give it to my friends baby and he said he doesn't care who I give it to. He says he told me not to buy anything the first time but he didnt because would remember - its not about spending my hard earned money if it's not appreciated!

As I write this today and really reflect I can see the whole thing IS a mess. Btw, he wont be getting me preggers as we always use protection.

[redrose1]

Redrose1, imagine yourself as a single mother, struggling to get child support from a guy who is already dealing with child support for four other kids. Is that what you want? Because that's where this is headed. Take this phone situation as a lucky break, a chance to back away from this loser before he gets you pregnant.

I know that true. That's not a situation I want to be in. I'm not someone to judge otherwise I would have made a runner ages ago. But right now it's making me think. He was out of order to swear at me like that. He's got a temper too but i've not witnessed it myself... YET!

[michelle23]

your not someone to judge? Its not about judging-its about protecting yourself. Your 27, young with no kids, no real baggage. Why would you even consider this guy an option??

I mean Id understand if you were divorced with two or 3 kids yourself-that complicates everything but your not. You have options-loads of options so dont settle for second best. Jeez id consider this guy way below second past.

[redrose1]

your not someone to judge? Its not about judging-its about protecting yourself. Your 27, young with no kids, no real baggage. Why would you even consider this guy an option??

I mean Id understand if you were divorced with two or 3 kids yourself-that complicates everything but your not. You have options-loads of options so dont settle for second best. Jeez id consider this guy way below second past.

yes, you're right. I guess I just like him too much but I know I don't deserve this... when I finally speak to him ( whether it be today or tomorrow) I'll let you know what happens etc...

thanks for the advice michelle and everyone else who has responded .. x