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Thread: How do you offer to pay for coffee?

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    How do you offer to pay for coffee?

    I find it a bit awkward. Do I offer after they have ordered, like I go up to the cashier with my card? Or do I tell them in before they order that it will be on me? I've tried both, but both times have been a bit awkward, since people's first reaction is to decline.

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    more info...someone you go to a coffee shop with or are you just hanging out trying to buy patrons' coffee?

    I'm a guy, but you can buy mine, if you want. Not gonna date you though.

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    If I'm going with someone I know...I'll just order before him or her, then ask what they want. Then I will pay for both of us.

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    Order yours first, and then say "plus whatever she's having..." Do it with confidence... much of the discomfort you have experienced probably comes from her being able to see that the moment is awkward for you.

    If she takes out her money to pay, just say "no-no, it's on me this time".
    Last edited by shh!; 16-07-08 at 10:43 AM.

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    I automatically pay for my girl, no need to ask.

    Everyone else can pay for themselves.
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    I usually just ask her what she wants and order it myself. Most of the time if you ask her that she'll blurt it out without realizing you're planning to pay. And she's not likely to argue at the register. So there. No awkward moment.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Off2College View Post
    I find it a bit awkward. Do I offer after they have ordered, like I go up to the cashier with my card?
    If you offer, then people will decline. Nobody wants to feel like a freeloader and accept your offer, it makes people feel guilty. Just don't make it into an offer! When the bill comes, without saying a word, pick it up and pay for it. There's no need to make it into some grandiose gesture and highlight what you're doing. Just pay for it like it's not a big deal. The less you make it matter, the less awkward it is for the both of you.

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    You just go to the cachier after the date, hand your money out and don't say a word. The best way is to not give the other person a chance to decline. Be fast. Don't say 'I'll pay', just hand out your money, quickly like its normal, your coffee.
    Don't expect anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shh! View Post
    Order yours first, and then say "plus whatever she's having..." Do it with confidence... much of the discomfort you have experienced probably comes from her being able to see that the moment is awkward for you.

    If she takes out her money to pay, just say "no-no, it's on me this time".
    ^This is what I normally do.

    It's always worked.
    Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi

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    Note to the young women: do NOT make a big deal if a guy pays for you. And don't offer to repay him. He won't take it & might be offended (you think he can't afford it).

    Just smile your brightest & say something like 'thanks, that was really sweet'. It will make his day. If you are truly worried about it, just offer to get the next time.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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  11. #11
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    For future inquirers of this question: the suggestion of standing in line first, and telling the barrista that you are paying for your friends works very well. I tried it on 2 different girls in one night, worked flawlessly.

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