Your girl hanging out with other guys?

[Colts]

Now, ok, i am seeing this girl, have been for just over the month now, she's a lovely girl, we've been away 2 weekends to just get away from our local area and had a great time, and just have been spending quite alot of time with eachother.

Ok, so she hangs around with guys alot, and not groups of guys, she went for a meal with a guy last week, and this week, went out to the cinema and meal with a different guy.

Now, i know im not exclusive to her, and vice verser, but she tells me shes really into me and likes me loads. But she doesn't sneak around, she openly tells me shes going round a guys house, or going to cinema with him, so i've just been responded friendly, as it's not my place to tell her what she shouldn't do.

What do you think to this, if i wanted to make things exclusive/official between the two of us, i don't think it would stop at all and would make me feel 10x worse.
So what should i do?

[VincenzoG91]

If she is really into you, then you should be able to talk to her about this. If she still isn't interested in a commitment to you, you may need to back away and find someone who more closely shares your goals and values.

I don't know if this is relevant, but sometimes a woman has a lot of guy friends because she is insecure. I had an ex-girlfriend like that, and when I found out that she was cheating on me, it wasn't totally surprising. And I had another ex-girlfriend who got raped on two separate occasions when she was hanging out with a supposedly platonic guy friend. (Two different guys on the two different occasions.)

[vertical_sky]

You're right, it probably wouldn't stop, because going to a meal/movies with a guy is not necessarily romantic. If you became exclusive, what would stop (if it's even happening now) is anything physical or romantic-emotional in nature (IF she's a good person, and right now you have absolutely no evidence that she isn't.)

Becoming her boyfriend does not mean she will/must suddenly stop seeing men socially. So long as she can maintain boundaries, male friends should not be an issue you concern yourself with. You've had female friends haven't you?

[Bonfire]

Go look for another girl if it will bother you that much. Some girls have mostly guy friends and they will hang out with them alone. That's who she is. When you decide to date her, you know this about her and you can't expect her to change and dump her life to accommodate you. That's not fair to her. So you either accept this or break up and find a different girl who is not like that.

[smackie9]

She wants to date casually at this time in her life. If you want a committed relationship, it's not going to be with her.....best be looking elsewhere.

[Colts]

Yeah i guess you guys are right, it is who she is, but i'm really into her so backing off right now seems quite extreme and could be the totally wrong thing.

But, if i did go further with her, i must admit, i can't find full trust for her, and wouldn't be surprised if i was being cheated on, which is a shame. I do have friends as girls obviously, but when im close to a girl like now, i wouldn't go alone with a girl to the cinema, i know it's an innocent friendly time out together, but i'd still see it as being sly and cheaty.

[Horseyguy]

So you would end it with her because you can't trust her because YOU are insecure? You are probably right, it wont work

[smackie9]

I don't know why you say she cheaty on you.....you are not in a relationship for crying out loud. She tells you about her dates to get the message across that she doesn't want to be exclusive. I don't even know why we are even having this conversation.

[Kaius]

She's not married to you. She is allowed to date other guys to see who is right for her. Doesn't mean she is sleeping with other guys...she is "dating" other guys.
If she doesn't want to evaluate her other options, she would refuse to hang out with other guys. No such thing as cheating before you are married.

[Bonfire]

No such thing as cheating before you are married.

I guess everyone can now stop accusing their boyfriend or girlfriend of cheating if they are caught sleeping with another partner.

[Kaius]

I guess everyone can now stop accusing their boyfriend or girlfriend of cheating if they are caught sleeping with another partner.

Correct. No such thing as cheating BF or GF. It's a free country.

[Colts]

So maybe i am insecure, maybe a flaw of mine.

I know what guys are like, and for some reason i wish didn't exist, i can't find enough trust in her to know nothing won't happen with her and other guys, and i know we're "not married", as i said, i can't tell her who to hang around with and what she can't do with other people, isn't in my rights.

I just don't want to end up being the mug, who gets cheated on because he's being to nice about her being with other people if we was to get more serious.

[JadenMia]

Correct. No such thing as cheating BF or GF. It's a free country.

I dont agree with that.. It is a free country.. But that doesnt give, going behind your partners back who you are serious with, the OK. I wouldnt have been okay with my partner sleeping with other women and i am sure most people would agree that is cheating.