Should I remove her off facebook?

[Bigboy77]

Well i'm doing amazing.. its been about 4 months since the break up and I can finally go hours without thinking about her. It's been pretty much NC the entire 4 months.. Although i did ask her to hang out a few times but she said she wasn't ready or cancelled on me last second.

Anyway.. I never check her facebook page or newsfeed.. but her picture does pop up on my friends list now and then and the chat thing.. This bothers me mildly but not much.

I guess my debate is this: It's been 4 months.. doesn't it sound immature to remove her now? And i think i secretly want to punish her in someway for the shit she put me through.. and by deleting her its kind of showing that what she did isn't acceptable.

On the other hand i don't want to be immature about the whole thing.. I know one day she will want to talk to me again and if i remove her from facebook i doubt that will happen. So i guess holding on to hope for years down the line.. (don't know if this is healthy)

What do you guys think the best thing to do is?

[Vanessa]

'Punishing' her isn't going to change the facts, won't erase anything, won't make you a happier person. Delete her.

[Bigboy77]

Thanks for the reply Vanessa. I know punishing her won't do anything.. but it's in the back of my mind when i think of deleting her off facebook.. along with the other reasons i stated.

[that one guy]

I think you're second doubting yourself. Besides, if she ever does want to talk to you, she knows how to get a hold of you. Delete her.

[Bigboy77]

Thanks that one guy, You're right i am doubting myself... and i know its because i still have hope that one day she will come around..not healthy at all.. i'm leaning towards deleting her now. any one else have an opinion?

[Enchanté]

i think the less of a deal you make of it, the less it matters. i think it truly depends on whether or not you think it's really necessary--for me, it's been way easier to not seem them pop up on my newsfeed, so I simply blocked them from appearing, but i didn't delete him entirely because i didn't think it would really help me, and if some day we are able to be friends, then that's that. and i don't think it's necessarily bad to hope a little that some day things may work out, it becomes unhealthy if you cling onto it so much it prevents you from moving on and living your life however. if having her on facebook is really preventing you emotionally and mentally from moving forward, then sure, take that away.

[smackie9]

When it was over you should have deleted her then.....deleting her now will just show her you are finally ready to move on.

[smackie9]

Why would you want to punish her? Wanting out of a relationship is not a crime....these things just happen. Relationships are not forever, they will come and go in your life. People change especially at this young age. Other things were introduced into her life and a committed relationship isn't what she wanted at this time, oh well....dude you only young once, there is plenty of time for a serious relationship down the road.....enjoy your freedom, enjoy new experiences.

Stop letting this put your life on hold, its over, move on.

[Bigboy77]

yeah thats the thing! i should have deleted her right away, but i was in the denial stage and thought there was still a chance. Now it just seems weird to remove her after this long. I don't want to burn my bridges for the future. Im going to continue moving on.. hopefully in a few more months it wont even bother me anymore.

[kinks]

I don't think it's immature. If deleting her will help make things easier ie. seeing less of her stuff on your newsfeed etc then do it. My bf broke up with his ex two months before we went out, but he only deleted her from his fb about 3months after we started going out... SO like 5ish months in total.

[sweetest]

I find it somewhat strange how fb has become such a big part in the lives of some.

fb didn't exist a few years ago, and going back further we didin't have mobiles either.

how did we manage?

if we wanted to contact our bf/gf then we called their home, most often the call would be answered by a parent, otherwise we called them at their workplace. Needless to say we didn't call too often.

We didn't feel that we needed to know the 'status' of our bf/gf or other friends 24/7, and we didn't feel that we wanted to share every detail of our lives with the world either.

We did more and talked about it less.

[DarkHelmet82]

you too? haha i have the same issue. Just do it.. I did and I am feeling good about it.. SHe doesn't need to know the reason you are deleting her.. you can block her.. maybe she will think you got rid of your account. JUST DO IT!

[smackie9]

Your relationship is over.....you both have nothing to do with each other so there is no point in keeping her on as a friend. There is nothing wrong with just letting go. It would be just tidying up a loose end....so easy to press the delete button.

[Mona_B]

I find it somewhat strange how fb has become such a big part in the lives of some.

fb didn't exist a few years ago, and going back further we didin't have mobiles either.

how did we manage?

if we wanted to contact our bf/gf then we called their home, most often the call would be answered by a parent, otherwise we called them at their workplace. Needless to say we didn't call too often.

We didn't feel that we needed to know the 'status' of our bf/gf or other friends 24/7, and we didn't feel that we wanted to share every detail of our lives with the world either.

We did more and talked about it less.

Yes, Facebook is like a big Kindergarten :-) I am much older then the OP I think, and even I fell in the trap when I was upset with someone I have a let's say complicated friendship with. So in the heat of the emotion I even put that person on ignore. Five minutes later I felt completely silly because I know it is just childish. So now we are friends again but I think I am still on his ignore list and he forgot about it. LOL. I am too embarassed to mention it and so we just write emails or talk on the phone and I think it is even better because so I will never be tempted again to acting out my little kid. Yes, just block her from your view and just leave it like this.

[DarkHelmet82]

DO IT.. it will be hard.. but who cares what she thinks.