Keeping friendships after breakup

[survivor08]

If there are genuine friendships with a relative or friends of an ex, and the friendship is kept, is there any thing wrong? Is there any harm?

Why would the insecure ex care (as long as we don't get together to talk about her?) I think the ability to keep friendships with ex relatives is a sign of emotional maturity..I could be wrong.

Today, during a phone conversation, I told my ex that I stopped by and said hello to an uncle of hers while I was in the neighborhood, (who I consider a friend) she proceeds to tell me that she is uncomfortable and bothered by the fact that I stay in touch with her family members...I explained to her that while I respect her opinions and feelings, I will keep the friendship with this uncle of hers because even before the break up, we said that we would be friends no matter what would happen between my ex and I, that our friendship is separate of my situation with my ex.

[agatha]

What you have done, for me, was just ok. keeping in touch with the relatives of your ex. I find nothing wrong with it. Maybe she's just afraid that keeping in touch with the relatives will be "a sort of a way" that you and her will be together again.

Explain to her that what you did was purely for friendship, no other.

[Dasein]

Survivor I have read many of you posts and have not commented before.

I don't see what you are doing as a bad thing.

However I still think you are hanging on too much to your ex. You still have quite a lot of communication for someone who is trying to move on. You have to find away to try and emotionally detach yourself from the situation. It's all well and good to be friends with the uncle but from her perspective all she will see is that you won't let it go.

I wish you the best of luck because I think you have gone through a very rough patch.

[survivor08]

I appreciate your feedback. Yes, I know that I haven't completely let go, and for better or for worse, we agreed to remain friends, but my goal is to give her space and see if she changes her mind, I initiate contact, she does.

What is evident here, is that here again she shows her manipulative behavior by giving me attitude about me remaining friends with her uncle. So she gets irritated and throws attitude (just like she has shown in the past on anything that it is not OK by her that I would do) This is immature and self centered behavior that I find rather dissapointing.

As far as I see it, she is not taking away friendships as a result of the breakup. I value my relationships, this girl has a habit of detaching herself completely from friends because of past breakups...I find that rather strange myself.

[DeTroit_4Win]

I dont think its that big of a deal..