Latevamp's Tall Tales (Story Time !!!)

[Late_vamp]

Alright so i decided to start posting some of my stories so everybody can have a good laugh at them or just because its interesting .

I will start with the ones that were already posted . I posted a story yesterday but it got deleted . To be honest i cant remember wich story it was ... if someone read it , remind me what it was and ill re-type it .

Enjoy

***
I know 2 ppl that did that .... this guy i know wanted to dump his GF in a really bad way after he found out she was cheating on him with lots of guys ... so he told his friend wich happens to be a girl ... his friend (the girl ...lets call her ... X) ... X got really upset and the slutty broad broke the guys "heart"...so they wanted revenge ... so what did they do??

... he knew that if he took her out she would give him a "good night"(the cheating GF) ... meaning a good shagging with pretty much everything he asked for . So he took out his GF soon to be ex to a nice fancy restaurant . she dindt understrand the occation but she just went with it ... they had dinner . they had an overall goodtime . so they get back in the car to drive back home (so she can screw him) . so as he's driving he asks for roadhead (blowjob while the guy drives) . so she does that . now heres the funny part

before he went to the date , he asked his friend X for a little help with something ... after talking for 5 mins , she takes off her pants and he sticks his dick in her ass ... 1st time she does anal ... so after having done that for a good 10 mins ... he puts it back in his boxers as if nothing ... untouched since it went inside her ass ... they dint fool around or anything except for that , he dint even cum ... she figured he might be turning gay .

So as he was driving and trying to hold off his laughter ... she was blowing his dick , untouched since it entered a virgin ass (with no enema btw) ... once they got home , she said it tasted really weird ... he cracked up ... she dint know what was happening so he just said he was very happy ... so they had sex ... he finished up and then broke up , then he let her know what happened ... needless to say the girl was crying from anger/repulsion and puking ... serves her right for cheating on her BF (who treated her nice also ) ...

later on he confessed that indeed he turned gay ... a couple of years later and that , that was why he dint screw X while he had the chance (well only anal , but he dint even try ... dint even cum)

***

[Tone]

I remember - it was about a dog............................................... ................ that's as far as I wanna go with that one.

Don't forget the cookies story, too.

[Late_vamp]

Hey at least its not as bad as my other friend

Every week his GF used to tape a show for him and bring it to his place so he could watch it (he dint have cable and wasnt there at the time of show) ...so at some point he got really sick and didnt go to work for like 2 weeks ... apparently things were fine between them except that she had caught him flirting with other girls ... wich is something bad ... ok so things werent that good ... you get the point ... so on her usual day she comes to his place , sees him for like 10 mins , says she has to go do some important tasks and leaves ... she left the tape for his show and she had baked cookies for him as a little treat ...

so he puts the tape on and starts to eat the cookies ... about halfway trough the show , it cuts and its a tape of her blowing a guy ... the guy cums in her mouth ... she takes a bowl that was on the floor (she was kneeling ...sucking) and spits the cum back in ... then she says to the camera "enjoy your cookies bit ch " .... as he's seeing this , he's still eating the cookies ... he checks the time when it was filmed ... 2 hours before the time now he saw it ... he had already eated half of the cookies ... so he finished up what he had in his mouth ... he figured "meh , i ate half of it already ..." ... then he gave the rest to his neighboor (wich was his friend) .... he never saw her ever again ...

apparently they broke up because she had doubts on him ... and he wasnt trying in the relationship ... him being a slob , she had enough and wanted to piss him off .

since then we call him seabiscuit (sea as in semen , buiscuit =cookie).

[Late_vamp]

Alright so this is another one of my stories , its about one of my friends when he was 12 .

So one day , my friend was drunk and high in another one of my friends house who happens to have a dog . They were messing around and they started to take dares (drunk game) ... so my other friends dared him to screw his dog up the ass ... so after a while of being called a pussy and teasing him , he goes to work .

So my friend in his drunk and high state of mind , takes the dog , stands behing it while all the rest of the guys are laughing and cracking jokes . He proceeds to pull down his pants and manages to stick the beast in the pooper with his dick . Now everybody reaction was of surprised ... they tought he was just going to mess with them , they didnt mean the dare seriously ... but unfortunatly my other friend dint take it as a joke being called a pussy and boned the mutt up the ass .

So until this day , ppl still remeber what he did to the dog,this was ages ago. they gave him a nickname but i cant remember it , all i know is that they still call him that ... To his defence ... he says he was drunk and high and he had alot of peer pressure . Last time i saw him was about 3 years ago ... and ppl still mentioned that story

PS : The way i wrote this story previously was better IMO ...i might have slipped a detail or two here .

[Late_vamp]

This happened during summer 2005 ... it was september.

So my friend called me up , i havent hanged out with him for the past 2 years .
so we decided to go out ... on a monday night when we had school the next day .

So after meeting up , we immediately decided to head for a store and pick up some 40's (beer thats approx , the same as 3 normal sized beers) and we go to pick up another one of my friends ... finally we were going to be 3 guys with 2 40's and a bottle of appleton Rum with a car driving around the whole city looking for something to do .

so i drank my 40 in less than 5 mins ... i wanted to get drunk ASAP and my friend who i went to the store with did the same .

So we drive around the whole city , we live on the west side , we drove all the way to the east side *the frenchy side of the city* ... we live in the English side .

So now my friend goes to talk to his GF (thats lives there , far away from ours) ... so me and my other friend(who i barely knew) decide to go and buy some more 4-'s ... so we tought "we'll buy more because we dont want to be caught wanting some more ... and if some is left , well leave it (we tough that was genius ... but man was it one BAD IDEA )"

so we buy 3 other 40's ... and we start to drink them as if we havent drank anything in days ... now picture this ... were in the middle of the streets with 3 40's ... laughing and joking at midnight on a MONDAY night where thers practically only townhouses ... kind of an old classic place of the city . Suddenly my other friend show ... with anothe 40 " ohh shit , guys i tought you woulnt buy any "
"so now what do we do with all this booze"

yup you guessed it ... we went to a bridge where some trains pass below ... we were drinking there like madmen . I drank the most out of all 3 because not only did i drink the same ammount of shots of rum , but i drank my other 2 40's and a half ... so i was shitfaced and they were too ... now remember , were far away from home with a car , drunk off our asses and its monday (well now thuesday morning)

so we start to drive in order to find something to do ... we see this pretty nice broad walking on the sidewalk , blonde , pure Quebec girl ...so my friends start to holla at her (holla in this way , to try to charm , to get attention from her) , me being too drunk was kind of lost and was more concerned on keeping my head up ... so the girl hops in the back seat . They were flirting with her , when i hear my friend in the back "so you do blowjobs ?" ... i dint know it until then ... we picked up a whore ... so after a while , they step out of the car , my friend who was driving tells me after that shes done the job on both of them , he'l knock her out and not pay her and drive off ...so thats the part when i puked out the window . I woulnt let that happen if it was for me , but i coulnt move .

so i feel asleep for a while in the car , next thing i know 3 cops come up to my window and ask me a bunch of questions ...turns out , somehow , my friend who got the BJ managed to convince the girl for sex . So he screwed her ... in the middle of the street doggy style standing while she was below a postlight holding herself , my other friend ... he was playing peeping tom ... not much to peep since it was in the middle of a street where cars were still passing .

so someone saw some things and called the cops ... they saw a car with a man passed out with vomit on the side , with the license plate that was hidden by a cloth , some guy nailing this girl in the street and another walking around looking suspicious all this ... on a monday latenight .

So 5 cop cars came rushing in the street ... after about 3 hours (while i was still passed out) ... they searched the car , arrested the girl (who turned out to be a well known whore among the officers) and my friends managed to convince the cops that she was lying and that they dint pay her for her "services" ... my other friend managed to convinced them that we werent drunk , and that i puked because i was sick ...needless to say , we got off the hook by a lucky shot ... they also searched the car , and my friend who was carrying a knife hide it behind below my leg (remember i was passed out) ... so they dint bother to move me .

also , they whore was on , so she most probably got sent to jail . I ended up coming home at 7 am . Still drunk and i puked in front of my place with my 2 other friends ... then i missed school and work the same day .

In this story i dint do anything really ... but im not always like that .

[carpflounder]

Damn, LV, I don't know how you could make these stories up.
Are these real life or stories?

[Late_vamp]

all real ... no fiction in my stories .

[Only-virgins]

*Yawn*


_________________

[vashti]

all real ... no fiction in my stories .

Latevamp, tall tales are, by definition, fictional stories.

From the website reference.com, "the tall tale is fictional, and usually obviously so. Very often, the tall tale is told in a manner that is intentionally ridiculous".

[Late_vamp]

damn ... i cant edit these names then ... dammit Shh! ..you gave me a crappy name ... plus you suggested this ... bad Shh! , BAD .

[vashti]

damn ... i cant edit these names then ... dammit Shh! ..you gave me a crappy name ... plus you suggested this ... bad Shh! , BAD .

hahahaha!!! I'm soooo wicked! Sorry latevamp; I couldn't resist.

[misombra]

i don't care if they're tall, they're still crazy.

[Late_vamp]

so does that mean you like them Sombra ? cuz i still have alot to tell ...

[misombra]

you know it. keep them coming.

[shh!]

Got anymore tall tales, latevamp?

:-D