boyfriend not over ex, still likes me but 'needs time'....

[pinkinterlude]

I am unsure about what to do as me and boyfriend have just broke up 6 days ago, after I suspected that he wasnt over his ex, and he finally admitted it on new years eve of all days.

I had already asked him twice before because he had become withdrawn. sometimes he was normal with me, all fun and smiles; the guy I had fallen for, but every now and again, he would seem down but he'd always blame it as him having a bad day and such, and then tell me he's happy and everythings fine then question me about whether I was happy.

He finally told me that what I was thinking was right and that the last two weeks, which was over Christmas, he had been questionning whether he is still in love with his ex girlfriend as it was their first christmas apart, and that he realised that he always thought they'd get back together and that it was what he wanted. This confused me because just before we broke up he had told me that just because he was remembering the good times with her, after months of him being so annoyed and angry at her as she treated him badly, that it doesnt mean that he wants to get back with her.

He also said that he was confused because he felt that he could possibly have something more with me and didnt want to ruin it. That he cares about me and doesn't want to hurt me.

He was with his ex for 3 years in a long distance relationship (stoke - newcastle) where he said he was the one who always had to go up to see her, despite her having a car, and he lost touch with a lot of his friends because it was weekends that he went up to see her, the only time he really got to see his friends. We got together a few months later.

He's told me before that with me, as we're from the same city, that he feels he has a lot more freedom and isn't told what to do anymore. We've met each other's family and friends and we all get on, whereas his ex did not get along with his mum or best friends.

It's just sad because I felt like our relationship was perfect, (I know everyone probably says that), obviously apart from this confusion with his ex. but this was really the only argument we ever had, for obvious reasons and he says some of the stuff I told him I was thinking (me being his rebound girl) hurt him cos he didnt realise I was feeling so bad and he insists none of it is true.

We broke up on the 1st but didnt really tell anyone til the 3rd, despite us keeping in contact. He's told me that he needs time to sort his head out and that he apologises for messing me around. I didnt want to end things on bad terms so I told him I understand and not to feel bad becuase I know none of this was intentional and how I hope he figures everything out. I was expecting this to be the last time I would hear from him for a while, and tried to prepare myself for this becuase we had spoken every day since we met, but he's texting me asking if I'm okay and things that are happening at his work and such, like he used to. Obviously not as much as he did when we were together but Im confused because I thought he needed to think things over.

I do want to get back with him if thats what he wanted, and he knows that I would if he works at getting over his ex, and I know he knows he needs to sort things out but I dont think he can really do that if he's contacting me but I dont want to not contact him because I feel we'd lose touch. I don't think he's in contact with his ex. I'm quite confused as to why he still is texting me after him 'needing time to sort his head out'

My friends say that becuase I've haven't been horrible and angry towards him and left things quite civil, that he feels he can tell me all this as his ex seemed to treat him quite bad, and that because we're so simialar personality wise that he feels he can stay in touch. but I'm scared that if he does decide he wants to get back with me that its becuase his ex didnt want him, (she broke it off with him with little explanation). Or if he doesnt get back with me, then I know it would hurt so bad because of him saying what if things with me was something more. I know I cant do anything but wait but its hard and I cant wait forever.

I know I sound like some desperate person, in theory this all sounds really bad but he isnt the sort to intentionally go out to hurt someone and I believe his feelings for me are true. and if we had the chance to try again, this issue, our only issue, would hopefully be resolved.

Any ideas on this would be so helpful
and sorry for the essay and if its hard to understand.
xxxx

[Gigabitch]

The best thing to do is walk away. No contact. If he comes around, he knows where to find you.