Age Gap of 16 years!

[honeyb]

I started talking to this guy I met on a dating site, his 42 and I'm 26.
We exchanged a lot of emails,after a while texted and then he called. He told me his 42,we talked for hours.As his photos looked O.K the age gap didn't bother me too much, as he told me up front that his profile hadn't been updated and we want all the same things and really seemed to click.
So I was really excited about meeting him but was scared because it seemed like he could be "the one" (cheessy I know) but I was scared there was too much hype and excitement in my head.

Just before meeting I asked him to send me another photo,which he did and i was really disappointed he didn't look like the guy in the other photos, he said the photos on his profile where only a year old!!! but I think he felt something was wrong as he texted that he doesn't photograph well,I didn't say anything as I'm not that mean.

Anyway the next day we met and he looks older than his photos and age to me he looks 46 maybe his still the same amazing guy we talked for hours his really smitten recently said he loves me and see me in his future and before I was feeling that magic too so I don't think his crazy but I feel like a cow now I really love spending time with this guy but is this going to be an issue or will it go away in time. We haven't slept together yet but talk alot about the future, is it o.k to keep dating him whilst I figure this out, because don't want to dump him and then later think, oh my god I love him but on the other hand I don't want to waste his time or break his heart.

I never had a problem dating guys that where not super models or attractive to others but I think it's because he looks old! and I look really young most think I'm 19 or 20.
I'm going nuts help!

[shheadz]

I don't know about the other stuff, but don't you think it's a little odd that after a handful of conversations, he's already telling you he loves you?

[vashti]

He's too old for you. Don't waste your time.

[honeyb]

He said the I love you stuff after we met and I've had that happen before with others, so I'm pass the whole freaking out stage. Say how you feel when you feel it.

[shheadz]

Say how you feel when you feel it.

A healthy individual doesn't get so attached to another person so quickly. Watch out for this guy.. he's going to be needy and clingy. Besides, a man of his age and experience should know it's taboo to throw the L-word out there so early in a relationship.

Other than that, I don't really see a problem with the age gap.

[Stratosphere]

I agree with ssheadz, he should know better than to love you already. Love takes time.

As far as the age: if it is a problem with you then stop seeing him. Too bad. A girl dumped me once because I was 13 years older than her. She "could not get past the age difference"

[Gigabitch]

What do you think he wants from you?

[lovestar]

Well, my boyfriend is 39 and I am 20, but for us this has never been a problem. I have also not met him online and I would have never guessed his age. Just beware and be slow and see what happens... if it is the right person and you still think so in a couple of months then think about how this age gap will work for you.

I for instance had an argument with a Dr. at a young ppls clinic who was trying to convince me that my bfs a pervert. Be prepared for stupid arguments with ppl. like that. BTW she was claiming she wasn't ageist in any way. yeah, right.

[shheadz]

Well, my boyfriend is 39 and I am 20, but for us this has never been a problem.

Pretty much the same here. I'm 33 and my ex was 21. I just started seeing another girl that's 21. The only problem my ex and I ever had regarding our age difference is friends. I told her right from the start I wasn't interested in hanging out with her 18-22 year old friends.. sitting around playing flip cup and beer pong.

Other than that.. everyone that knew us was very supportive of our relationship, and thought we were the best couple.

[starbuck]

I was in a significant age gap relationship for 4 years and even though the guy was great, I couldn't get over the age difference. (19 years)

Let's presume you eventually decide to marry this guy. When he's in his 60's you will only be 44. Would you be prepared to be possibly widowed at that age and have to either start all over again to find someone again? Or be without a husband for the rest of your life? I'm not saying this scenario is a given, but it certainly a possibility. Dating again at middle age is not horrible, but it's not something I wanted to willingly sign myself up for.

It's not crazy to date someone that much older than you, nor is it perverted. But chances are, you will always be in different life stages (physical, emotional, situational) during your relationship and this difference will cause issues not present in age-appropriate (for lack of a better word) relationships. Is it doable? Sure. But it is work.

My best advice to you would be to not take this lightly. Age is not just a number. Think about what you ultimately want for yourself and your future. I'm willing to bet a much older man wasn't on your list.

[vashti]

The idea of being widowed at a young age is much better than another scenario I can imagine... when his health goes, the young wife will have to take care of his health care needs. This is devastating when you are taking about Alzheimers, incontinence, COPD, CHF, and other common ailments of old age.

[honeyb]

Thanks for the advice guys.

I'm gonna to give it ago, seems silly to dump a good guy because his older.
People keep saying when I'm in my 40s he'll be in his 60s? who knows if we'll even be together then or that his going to get some horrible illness and die! My ex is 27 and has crappy health always something wrong with him and my grandma is in her late 70s has two adopted teen girls as their young parents died soo you never know and can't worried about this stuff.

If it works out great if not than, oh well, but I don't want to wake up in my 40s single childless and living with a load of cats wondering what happened to the charming older guy(I have a neighbor like this, she's been alone for 20 years) and if his nuts I'll find out soon enough.