Issue with my girlfriends parents!

[berg101]

Hi everyone

Okay so basically I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months now. She is 20 and I am 23 - we both still live at home and I see her parents about 2/3 times a week when I go round to hers. I get on great with her mum and also with her dad - her dad is a lot more difficult to get on with and she told me that he never likes anybody but really likes me, so that was great. Anyway up until last night everything was going really well and then my girlfriend invited me and 4 of our friends round to hers for a few drinks - my girlfriend couldn't come out because she has a lot of family staying round and she never really sees them. Anyway we got to her house and all seemed okay and then about 15 minutes later we went upstairs to watch a film and her dad went crazy at her shouting and saying it's so rude that we have all just turned up when they have family down etc etc. We thought it was best to leave so started making our way out the door when her mum and dad continued to have a go at her, she was absolutely mortified at them for causing such a scene and shouting the way they did, especially at us because we had done nothing wrong, she couldn't understand what the problem was baring in mind she rung her mum and asked if it would be okay for us all to come round and her mum said yes. Anyway my girlfriend told her parents to **** off and stormed out the house followed by her mum shouting 'well if you walk out now your not welcome back in this house' and then her dad turned on all of us and said 'you can all **** off as well and don't bother ever coming back'. I went after my girlfriend and my friend told me that her dad said he was massively surprised at me for doing all this.

Everything got blown hugely out of proportion and quite frankly I think her parents were massively out of order - if they had wanted us to leave all they had to do was ask, there was really no need to be so abusive. The issue I have now is that I really don't feel welcome back in their home, and to be quite frank I don't really want to go back, certainly not for a month or so until I'm certain things have calmed down - what am I meant to say to my girlfriend tho the next time she wants me to go to hers?!

I have no clue what to do, but I won't go to someone's house when It's clear I'm not welcome anymore.

Thanks in advance for the help.

[pisces25]

I think you need to speak to her and ask her what she thinks. Regardless of who is right or wrong in this situation it is her house and her parents so I don't think you should really get too involved. Just be guided by her. If she invites you over then just be polite, as before. Maybe it will just blow over. If she was told she wasn't any welcome back where is she now?

[berg101]

Well I convinced her to go back inside and stay there - I said that it'd make things massively worse if she came with us and didn't go back in. I've not been getting too involved in it all - just been trying not to take sides and basically saying that she has to see it from her parents point of view. When I go back round I'll treat them exactly the same as I have always done, I'll be polite and gracious but I want to know I'm welcome and not feel like I'm being forced upon them. Luckily my girlfriend is going away today until Saturday so that'll help things blow over and will hopefully give her and her parents some breathing space. I'm sure things'll be fine in a couple of weeks.

[pisces25]

If/when you go back just pretend like nothing happened and let them lead the discussion. By the sounds of it they will make it clear whether you are welcome there or not but I am sure it will go back to normal in time.

[berg101]

If/when you go back just pretend like nothing happened and let them lead the discussion. By the sounds of it they will make it clear whether you are welcome there or not but I am sure it will go back to normal in time.

Yeah Im sure it will do - think everything just got a bit heated last night because her parents were drunk.

[jwayne]

Wow.... this sounds like something that I've experienced.

There was one time my ex gf mum blew up on me, screaming at me, because my ex gf was always having sleepovers at my place.

And for the power of love, I actually have the balls to have a heart-to-heart talk with the mum.

Obviously she was still pissed off.

But what makes it work in the end is, firstly, i "disappear" for a while.

Then slowly "re-appear" again with lesser frequency and pretending nothing happen.

Eventually after a few weeks, everything will turn back to normal and my ex gf still come over to my place for sleep overs as per usual.

[Ely North]

They obviously like you, so it should be easy to save the situation. Bring her mom some flowers and her dad a bottle of scotch (or whatever he prefers to drink) and apologize for any misunderstanding. Just wait a few days until the rest of the family leaves town before you go back.