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Thread: The darkest hour

  1. #1
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    The darkest hour

    In this poem, I don't think the 'when i'm asleep' part of each verse really fits to the flow, if anything, it breaks it up. It makes the poem a bit scratched up, and lost, feeling something is missing, an 'emptyness' - which is kind of the point of the words, so i guess it does fit.

    The darkest hour
    In time of need
    talking to
    myself asleep

    I wish this moment
    passes soon
    it only ends
    when I'm asleep

    this pain inside
    i cannot keep
    it goes away
    when i'm asleep

    i'll dream those nights
    away in bed
    away from here
    when i'm asleep

    I do not
    want to feel this week
    but it only ends
    when i'm asleep

  2. #2
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    RK, please keep these poems in some kind of journal (i.e. don't discard them). They are like that book I mentioned before about musings of a young doctor. You'll want these for later, trust me.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  3. #3
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    thanks indi, i've written many random poems on paper, but i always seem to loose them, and throw them away, the only one's i've kept are on this site, i think i will get a free hosting website, and copy/paste and date them on it.

    thanks for the idea, i will. im the future, i will look at the poems in a different light.

    i kind of wish whaywardj was still around too, he did mention or start me up with some kind of website to post, but i never did follow through.

    thanks again!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by RSK View Post
    i kind of wish whaywardj was still around too, he did mention or start me up with some kind of website to post, but i never did follow through.
    Check your PM, RK.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by RSK View Post
    thanks indi, i've written many random poems on paper, but i always seem to loose them, and throw them away, the only one's i've kept are on this site, i think i will get a free hosting website, and copy/paste and date them on it.

    thanks for the idea, i will. im the future, i will look at the poems in a different light.

    i kind of wish whaywardj was still around too, he did mention or start me up with some kind of website to post, but i never did follow through.

    thanks again!
    It's good to post poems in a forum but it's really a nice idea to create a personal website or a blog and publish your poems there. Since when this is written in a personal diary, only you can read them; but when you publish on internet, it mihgt reach the targeted audience.
    I didn't follow the rules and now I'm in trouble.

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