Confused and under appreciated

[aciefacie]

So, I have been with my current boyfriend for two and a half years now. He is 31 and I am 19, I know the age difference sounds bad but I am mature for my age and he is a little immature for his. We have had our ups and downs, he has cheated on me once in the past and i forgave him because he came clean to me. There are a couple other occasions that I think he might have cheated but I don't know for sure. Our relationship has had tons of good points but lately I feel that he doesn't care about me. Instead of doing stuff together, he wants me to sit behind him while he plays video games on his computer. I am all for video games but he never plays anything that I can play too. It is always Fall Out New Vegas and he is on it from the time he gets home to 3-7am every day. Because of this, I have gotten really bored and have made friends of my own. Unfortunately he doesn't want to get to know my friends, doesn't trust me when I am with them, and just gets angry. I have tried several times to calmly talk to him about my feeling under appreciated, and even once I broke out in hysterical tears. Nothing gets through to him. So I decide to spend more time with my friends(whom are a couple) instead of alone in the background of his life. Unfortunately he feels intimidated by my male friend, he thinks that he is interested in me. Now, I know that this is true because my friend(we will call him Kross) told me himself that he has feelings for me. I reciprocate those feelings but would not act on them because I know the pain of being cheated on. I have talked to Kross about this and he agrees, he doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend of two years, "Shelly"(whom has cheated on him 6+ times). We have come to the decision that it is best if we just stay friends right now until we can sort out our own lives. I still have feelings for my boyfriend but I feel like he hardly cares about me. I don't know if I should break up with him or keep trying to work things out. Also, if I do break up with him, I know that Kross isn't going to fall right into my arms, he has his problems to handle as well but it would open another window of opportunity that he could make the decision to jump through. I'm so confused as to how to take this situation on. Any advice? It is greatly appreciated!!!

[ashley89]

there are tons of red flags here. the age difference is a big one... he is too much older than you. you're only 19, you're still a teenager and he is in his 30s. you have so much more of your life to experience and you shouldn't be wasting it on a 31 year old loser who cheats on you. there's another red flag, HE CHEATS on you! numerous times! why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't respect you? and he sits around and plays video games... what is he, 12? even if things don't work out with this Kross guy, break up with your boyfriend for your own benefit. you will be so much happier alone and you can work on yourself, meet new friends, and do things to make YOU happy

[smackie9]

You are not mature...if you were A. would have never bothered to date a an adult man that would illegally date a minor. B. would know that a man that dates a teenage girl is just using her as his little cookie on the side while he cheats and lies because girls your age are naive. C. guys like him are creepy (you will figure this out when you do actually grow up). And D. would have figured out that him cheating on you will be doing it again sometime soon and you should have dumped him the first time.

Your best bet is to end it and date a guy your own age, so that he won't be embarrassed to hang out with a bunch of teenagers. Plus to add you two seriously do not have a future together because of the incompatibility caused by your age difference.