issues

[btmsup]

My girlfriend and i have discussed that neither of us wants to have sex before we are married, but agreed that anything leading up to it would be ok. recently, after an active makeout session including fingering and a handjob she said that she didn't want to do anything like it anymore and that she felt like we had gone too far. she was, however, interested in finding alternatives that are just as emotionally involved, but not as physically involved.

i have no idea what to do. any ideas?

[The Great OV!!!]

I don't know but the situation sucks for you bud...because the first thing that would go through my mind is that she hated it. You are both virgins right? cause you are waiting for marriage.....would kind of be stupid to wait for marriage when you already have not...lol

[enterprise]

ya why wait for marriage if your going to be touching each other anyway thats like saying no biting chocolate, so you take a lick every little while. No chocolate would mean no chocolate.

(best example i can think of after a tiring day).

[btmsup]

are you guys suggesting that we already went past our decision by touching? we decided it was fine, but are now trying to step back and try again from a slightly less active perspective. we are having trouble deciding what to do other than touch that could still have at least some of the connection.

we are both virgins.

nice example...

[vashti]

If you want to have a strictly emotional connection, sit on the floor across from each other and look deeply into each other's eyes for at least 5 minutes with no talking. It sounds weird, but it can be very intense.

If you want to remain virgins until marriage, it is best to avoid the touching of genitals. It becomes very hard to control yourself after a while.

[Tiay]

she sounds like one of those repressed religious people. She liked it-- now she feels all guilty. And no, no there aren't any less-sinnfull-but-just-as-much-fun activities. There are things you can do of course. I don't know any that are as intimate and bonding, though.

[btmsup]

the 'repressed religious' description matches fairly well.

we tried the eye thing today and it is fun and bonding, just not quite what we're looking for.

[Junket]

the 'repressed religious' description matches fairly well.

we tried the eye thing today and it is fun and bonding, just not quite what we're looking for.

You want sex without sex.

Yeah, you're gonna be wearin' that sad face for a while.

[vashti]

Sorry, but Tiay is correct. There is no replacement for sex that I can think of.

[Tiay]

Some couples do only foreplay for years because they're waiting for marriage. If you think you can resist accidentally poking her, that's a good option because you still get to bond, have fun, and you still get to learn about each others bodies so you wont be totally clueless on the wedding night--- but if you can't resist, then it's better not to do anything much beyond kissing.

[Junket]

Some couples do only foreplay for years because they're waiting for marriage

Yeah, that pretty much sums up my physical relationship with Ames.

Gets kinda hot sometimes.

[boobaa]

Why not have sex? You are not religious anyway, I presume, you only think you are, but you are not! Otherwise sex wouldn't even be in your minds! Why **** with your minds if you can **** with eachother?

[Tiay]

yes. religious people don't think of sex. ever. [/sarcasm]

[anachronistic]

Sex is something that takes two people. Thus, it is only right for both of those people to decide on whether or not it happens. If she doesn't want to have sex, don't push her into it, and beg, and try to get her to change her mind. You will end up ****ing everything up;

The first time I had sex, it was horrible. Why? Because I asked her all the time, which pressured her into doing it. It was valentine's day. Her parents left us in the house alone. We started making out and things got extreme. She told me to make love to her. I asked her if that's what she really wanted. She said yes. I believed her. She was in pain the whole time. We did it without a condom. After 30 minutes, she snapped out of it, and shoved me off of her, and started crying.

She couldn't believe what she did. She felt like I had raped her. She wouldn't let me near her. Needless to say, I started crying. She had a breakdown for a long time after that.

Now that it has been a year, she looks back, still depressed, but glad that she had sex with me. I wish I never did that to her. I was that it was more romantic.

[Gigabitch]

Now that it has been a year, she looks back, still depressed, but glad that she had sex with me. I wish I never did that to her. I was that it was more romantic.

That really sucks that the first time you had sex, you felt like you did something "to" someone else. I'm sorry that happened. It should have been a beautiful experience.