Should I risk a friendship? I Love her.

[redvolvodavid]

Should I risk my friendship with my best friend to see if there might be any chance of us being more involved?

We have known each other since we were in preschool and now we're all grown up and college grads with jobs. We live a little over 2 hours away, which is a problem, but my sister and her family lives in the same town so I do make it there more often. I have gone down a few times in the last few months to see the kids at my sisters house, and to see this girl. I take her out to a stellar dinner and we have a fabulous evening each time. Its like I remember dating, but we're best friends...we usually just end the evening rather late each time and I go off to my sisters house for the night and get a hug and a peck on the cheek from this girl.

We know more about each other than anyone else. We share all of our secrets with each other. We have some of the same friends. Our parents are good acquaintances, and in some instances you could say our moms are friends. She's said I should come with her and her sister on a cruise later in the spring, but I don't know what she means. Is this just because she loves spending time with me as a friend?

Of course I over analyze everything we do now because I have re-sparked my interest for her. She's single right now and I hate it whenever she's in a relationship. I try and ignore my feelings and hope for the best for her even when she is in a relationship. I want the best for her even if it isn't with me (which kills me to say).

I actually feel that we could recover quite easily even if I were to bring this up, but I don't want to deal with the rejection from her.

We say we love each other when we see one another and on the phone. We talk at least once or twice a week to each other and I try to see her at least once if not two or three times a month. Since we are friends, this is ok for now. If things were to change of course I would see her more.

I am terribly attracted to her. I don't think I'm as attractive though on the outside. I know that its inside of me thats golden. She deserves a Brad Pitt because she is an Angelina Jolie. I'm no Brad Pitt though.

Should I pursue this more?
Should I drop this?
I don't know what to do. I need help with figuring that out.

I don't want to lose my best friend, but I also don't want to lose the chance to win a person I would be happy spending the rest of my life with. If I had to guess, her answer would be no, but things have been great every time I see her and I think she gets the hint that I do love her in more than just friends, but I'm not 100% sure of that.

Help. If you need any more information to form an opinion or to give me advice, just let me know. I'd happily give more. Thank you all for your advice in advance.

[IndiReloaded]

If you are both available & the signals are there that she's open to a relationship (you'll have to probe for this), then go for it. You have the potential makings of an incredible life partner sounds like. Be honest with yourself tho, and don't make up fantasies in your head that have no basis in reality.

If you decide to take the leap, take your time & don't go nuts on her. This will likely freak her out if she isn't in the same 'space' you are yet.

Good luck.

[bloodtippedrose]

oh man, you should never talk down about yourself.
I have a few guy friends and I recently learned it is impossible to have a best friend relationship with a guy and keep it at just that because eventually one will fall for the other.
If she gives you hugs and pecks thats a good sign. Instead of a date in public what about making a more private date like watching a video at your house or something. In private it is more easy to bring up feelings or compliments to her and such and you can read her body language. If she seems really uncomfortable then you know she might just see you as a friend.
Rejection would suck but so would living with what might have been. And your friendship is strong meaning she wouldnt want something to be bothering you.

[nuevo]

it is impossible to have a best friend relationship with a guy and keep it at just that because eventually one will fall for the other.

I agree.


I have to say....take the risk!!

[LostNotFound]

take the risk. be the man. and if it doesn't work its all out in the open and you can move on.

[mainload]

Do what you think is right. However, if you just jump in with both feet your girl might find that off putting. You have to fan the flame a little bit - get her to see you as someone she could be in a relationship with!

[faith7]

if you dont' take the risk, you'll always wonder what would have happen! GO FOR IT!

[TheSphinx]

Have to echo the other sentiments on this one. Man up and take the risk.

~Sphinx

[anachronistic]

Although not completely necessary to throw the entire friendship on the line, you should get your feelings out one way or another for your own good.