Ok. So there's this girl that worked at my old job that I pretty much always had a thing for. She was a Senior in HS at the time and I had been out of high school for two years. I didn't go to college. One of my old buddies spotted her first and admited he was crushing on her big time so me being a good friend, I back off. No big deal. But she also had a boyfriend at the time, so I wasn't gonna get myself worked up over her.
Here's the thing she has gone away to a college, not too far away and broke up with her high chool boyfriend in the beginning of the first semester. (Typical)
I'm really good friends with one of her friends thats a chick and earlier tonight we went oug to a club to celebrate my friends birthday. This was the first time I saw this girl I'm crazy about since she left for college. (Its winter break now.) And I have no idea what hit me but this intoxicating, invigorating, fueming feeling just struct me when I saw her.
She was talking about her ex boyfriend with me and how he was actually at the club we were at. Now before I get sht for this, let me make one thing clear. I do not have a jealous personality. Ok, so I ran into this guy coming back from the bathroom wallflowering. (Just standing around alone) So I'm like "whats up man?" He was wining and moaning about how his ex girlfriend is here here tonight and how he kept getting rejected by every chick in the club. So I'm like oh damn do I have someone for you to meet. I bring him over to the girl I like!! Haha what the hell is wrong with me. They hit it off because apparently they were childhood sweethearts. You know what, I'm happy I made that happen. Besides theyeft and hooked up and she came back and said it wasnt that great.
THIS is whats bothering me. I'm straight up in love with tjis girl. I know it. I know it because a little over a year ago, I got out of a 2 year relationship with a really broken relationship. And ever since then, I was afraid I was never gonna have this feeling again about someone. But I now know I can, and I'm just so ecstatic about that.
I've learned a lot since my last relationship. I've learned that you can't truly love someone unless you've learned to love yourself and I have. But I don't feel like I love myself enough yet. Believe me I want to keep this chick around but I feel like it could never work out. . I'm prepared to just hear "just use this to know that you are capable of falling in love again and move on." Of coursecthats the last thing I want to hear! I would love to be with this girl, and im damn sure I can make her fall for me. But I don't want her to sell her college lifestyle and experience away for a relationship with me.
I guess I'm asking if anyone can help me puzzle this all together.