Trust

[bobby71]

I have a problem.
I have been with my girl friend now for about 6 years.
I am 39 years old she is 42 years old.
I was married for 16 years before I got with the girl I am with now.
My marriage failed because of her finding a new man on the internet.
Needless to say I do have a bit of insecurity when it comes to the internet.

Now some back ground on my girlfriend.
She has been married 2 times the last one ended because her x husband had a feeling she was cheating.
Now in the last 4 month we have had to put everything in storage because I had to go back home to take care of my mother.
She in turn went to live with her mom and dad.
We are now about a 2 hour drive 1 way from seeing each other.
From the first part of December she has got on face book and reunited with a lot of her old high school friends.

They are planning there 25th high school reunion.
I have no problem with any of that.
At the same time she was looking up old school friends she also look up some old flings from just before we got tougher.
I intercepted a privet message from her to this old fling.
Now this fling was just a flavor of the week back 6/7 years ago.
It went from is this really you?
To I love you next time I am in town I will look you up.
In the middle of this she says she is single in kind of a long term relationship.
She is all so still adventurers.

So I put and end to that crap by sending the chat to his girlfriend on face book.
Then confronting her about it.
She then said I am sorry that I heart you.
I will never talk to him again.
She never has to my knowledge.

I then see that she has found her first boy friend in high school that is now single.
In less then 2 days of 4 privet chats on face book they have exchange phone numbers.
I think no big deal.
Then I see that he is calling her 2 to 3 times a day and just before bed time.
I then of course start looking for more info.
I find text messages from her to him just before bed saying good night hansom and good not sweet baby.
I then lose my mind and blow up on her.
She of course back pedals and say that I am pissing up her leg and that my past marriage has left me way to jealous.
I then take the 2 hour drive down to see her and try to talk this out.

This way she cant just hangup on me because she knows what is going on is inaproperit to say the least.
When I get there we of corse fight for a bit I then get her cell phone from her and call the long lost high school boy friend.
I then ask him what his intensions are with my girl friend.
Hes say I think you should be asking her.
I say no I am asking YOU what your intensions are.
He does not answer the question.
I then chat a bit more with him and hang-up and we fight some more.
We end up 2 days later some what working this out.
She says that she will have no more contact what is ever whit this person.
That she understands that what was going on was wrong.

I still have a gut feeling that this is not over.
I really have no way of finding out now at all.
Me and her have been through a lot in are 6 years of being tougher.
I love her with all my heart and want to believe her and start to trust her again.
But with all this past it just so hard.

Do you have any words of wisdom for me?

Thanks bobby71

[girl68]

I also believe in your gut. Her hubby left her for this exact thing. Now you are going through the same thing. She has now f**ked up over the same issue 3 times now. I don't know about her but when you truely realize what you've done is wrong you don't do it again; and you certainly don't do it at least 2 more times... (I doubt these 2 inceidents are the only ones... they're just the only ones you know about).

I would say trust your gut it doesn't seem like this girl is learning any lessons what so ever.

Oh and you're totally not overly jealous. I'd be so much more pissed if I found the same thing on my guy's computer. And I've never been cheated on. So don't let her use that shit on you again. That flirting is 100% unacceptable.

[Aeradalia]

If you don't trust her... then the relationship is already over... all you're doing now is just going through the motions.

It doesn't matter if you "catch her in the act" or not... you can end a relationship for whatever reasons you want. If you don't trust her, then that sounds like a good enough reason to end things.

[Mish]

I agree with above^. I think the relationship has already ended and there is no more trust, she's not trustworthy, it's just taking some time to really hit you that it's over.

[Perryville]

Bob, this relationship is Kaput. She cheats about as much as she breathes. Find someone else, you're only 39, there are lots of good women out there who don't cheat.

[Gigabitch]

Run, Bobby. She's out of control.

[bobby71]

Thank you for all your input everyone.

I won’t go in to it right now but her mom has got in touch with me.
There are things I need to know, that’s about all I got out of the email her mom sent
She is going to call sometime on Sunday.

Thanks again everyone.