Am I less sensitive than most people?

[NinjaTim]

It has kind of started to occur to me that my penis does not seem to be as sensitive as other people. I've never really been intimate until over the past year or two, so I've started to notice. I can get erections when I'm aroused and everything. I'm able to masturbate, but apparently not as easily as other people (although I can't say I've really watched anyone do it). Last year a girl tried to give me a blowjob, and I couldn't come. My girlfriend last year would always try to give me a handjob, but I didn't really feel all that much even though I had an erection, and I couldn't come. She was kind of inexperienced as well, so I'm not sure if it was me or her. We tried to have sex a few times, and I could get an erection, but pretty soon after I put the condom on, I would lose it and go soft again. Last week I was with a girl and having sex, but I was only semi-hard and could not come (although I was a little drunk then). I guess I could say I'm in pretty good shape, I'm 21, 145-150 lbs, 5'5", and usually workout and run 20+ miles per week. What seems to be going on with me? Can I do anything to fix it or am I just supposed to remain abstinent forever?

[Hellfire]

Cumming is a little more complex than some people give it credit for. It's not only about the sensation. Even for guys, it is related to how comfortable you are with the person you're with, trust, influences (alcoholic or otherwise) etc etc. It could be that you're just focusing on your concerns and that's what's causing the problem. It took about 6 months before one of my boyfriends started consistently cumming with me.

Other things you can try include asking your girlfriend to suck you off with ice or peppermints in her mouth or you can buy self heating lubricant or condoms. The ice can be a bit tricky to balance cold with pleasure but it has a wicked effect on guys and girls if used properly.

[vashti]

I would avoid the ice. It's numbing.

Your previous problems may have been a combination of inexperience, performance anxiety, and alcohol. I would simply remove any factors that could be contributing, at least until I had the problem under control. Avoid alcohol (causes impotence) and masturbation (desensitizes you). If you have a regular partner, your anxiety should be better controlled.

[NinjaTim]

Alcohol was only 1 time. The times I was with my girlfriend (who I had been going out with/seeing for about 4-5 months), I wasn't under the influence of alcohol. She also couldn't get me to cum when trying to give me a handjob. I thought I should at least come when I get a handjob/blowjob.

[vashti]

Do you orgasm (normally) when engaging in normal intercourse?

[lesa]

What do you mean when you say you can't feel? Feel excited or as in nerves problems? Are you circumcised, had medical procedure like vasectomy, etc. Do you have difficulties ejaculating while masturbating? Have you tried masturbating before sexual intercourse?

[Junket]

Sex wasn't particularly pleasurable the first few times I had it either. Also, girls can't generally give a good of a handjob as you can do for yourself. Especially if they're trying to do it dry.

[NinjaTim]

Yeah I was thinking that, my last gf actually cut me with her fingernail once. Eventually I had to just tell her to stop whenever we were making out.

[Cbrider]

A serious question for you, do you take any medications, particularly any form or amount of an antidepressant?

Antidepressants are notorious for killing off a persons libido.

[NinjaTim]

No, I take a multivitamin and drink a cup of coffee in the mornings usually.

[Cbrider]

Well that shouldn't have any affect on it then. I found that the more time I had under my wing the better it got. Took me a solid month or so with my last girlfriend before I felt comfortable enough to actually truly enjoy it.

[snoz]

I don't think you are... at least I hope not or I'd be on the same boat. One good thing is to actually teach your girlfriend how to do it. Try something different, I think the only ever time I came while my ex gave me a handjob or a blowjob was when she was on the phone (very funny!) but other than that I guess maybe we ARE just less sensitive *shrugs* don't let this bother you though, you'll be a marathon man in the bed

[Arrow]

I have a similar problem. I need high friction to cum and it can get very problematic when wearing a condom. Taking longer intervals between masturbation sessions makes the penis much more sensitive, so I'd recommend that.

Also, different positions yield different results for different men. Figure out with your girlfriend the position you both feel most comfortable with and go for it.

[ecojeanne]

it could be down to inexperience and nervousness and thinking about it too much. if you feel its not then try a herb called Ginkgo biloba which helps with erectile dysfunction-only take as much as directed-too much can make you dizzy, keep away from caffeine, also there is a tea called 'mens tea' that you can get in any health store it includes ginseng which aparently helps too.

also another herb that would be good for nervousness and should calm you is Lady's slipper - if that is what you think may be the problem

[carl1222]

What is your masturbation technique?

The jury is out on this, but some say the use of "death grip" masturbation (gripping your penis very tightly and masturbating very fast) can cause difficulty with maintaining arousal and reaching orgasm by oral and/or vaginal stimulation.

The theory is: we learn how to arouse ourselves through masturbation at an early age, and if the stimulation we get elsewhere (i.e. from sexual contact with a partner) is far different from the learned masturbatory stimulation, it doesn't work and problems like yours arise. Death grip masturbation is about as different a sensation from vaginal or oral penetration as you can get.

The proponents of this theory suggest that you can cure the problem by lubricating your hand, slowing down and loosening your grip so as to simulate the feel of a vagina or mouth, you will eventually relearn the sensations needed for arousal.

Of course, the downside is that you will now find it difficult to masturbate to orgasm while the re-learning is taking place, but you should discipline yourself even if it means some missed orgasms with masturbation at first.

I'd try it!

Carl.