Am I too critical and overly sensitive for a relationship?

[Ras1384]

So a quick history, I’v been single for about 2 years after ending a bad 3 year relationship. I’m in my late 20’s been dating for those 2 years, but just recently a couple months ago met someone I could see myself being with long term. I’v been through the dating cycle of a few dates then things fizzling out, I’m old enough to know what I want and was surprised when I met my recent girlfriend. We hit it off very quickly, basically skipping the classical dating scenario and going straight into relationship status very fast. Which is ok with me, she’s not clingy or possessive its just how things worked out.

I really care for her, things are going well, yes we are still a new couple so they should. We don’t fight, sexually things are fine, we see each other often, etc etc. Basically what you want a healthy relationship to be. Though the past week I’v been doubting all this for a couple reasons. As a guy I’ll fully admit I’m very sensitive, which most women don’t like but she openly says she loves my honesty and how I express myself. The thing is she’s not really that way and it kinda irks me.
For example, anytime I see her I till her how pretty she is, how much she means to me, if she’s having a bad day I’ll offer to take her somewhere to make her feel better. Not to toot my own horn I’m just that type of person with friends too, willing to go out of my way to make someone feel special. I don’t do it because I have to, those things just naturally come out.She never abuses this or expects it; she doesn’t walk over me etc. I’m just sensitive with my feelings and like to express them, she is not this way.

She’s extremely physically afficonate, holding hands, kissing me, hugging, which is great. She even told me she’s not that sensitive of a person when I met her. Just when I have a bad day I don’t get an offer to cheer me up. She doesn’t talk about wanting to have sex or how she enjoys it outside the bedroom, but when we do she does. I know she’s attracted to me very much and has said so before, but I rarely if ever got complimented on looking nice when I see her.

Basically I always reinforce what she means to me and how much I enjoy seeing her through words etc. She doesn’t really do that for me. Like I said I admit I’m very open with feelings, I always have been. I feel like I might be crazy, just looking for compliments and reassurance of our relationship. I have always felt like that, wondering why someone is with me (even though I know I have a lot to offer), and I guess I’m looking for constant reassurance on one hand.

Well if anyone has any advice I’d enjoy listening, please don’t call me crazy or weird etc. Just looking for some help, guess I’ve been out of the relationship game long enough I’m not sure what I should be doing. So am I too sensitive, open with my feelings and shouldn’t expect her to be? Am I approaching Seinfeld levels of Minutia, and picking apart every little thing? Thanks for your help.

[hello1]

She told you from the start she is not an overly sensitive person. I'm a woman and act like your g/f does. She does obviously care for you as she shows it through her actions but maybe if you sat her down and told her how you felt, she will start to open up to reassure you. This is properly just the way she is and give it time and she may open up more feelings wise.

[sookie6]

Some people are not as demonstrative with words as they are through their actions..and from what you are saying she is very present in the relationship...

Plus it's only been 2 months and maybe she's had some bad history and wants to open up in her own time when she feels like it...

Some people will always be more introvert about their feelings based on their education and personality, be aware that you might not be able to change that...BUT I would say 'do not criticise her nature too openly' I would say keep on just like you've been doing...being yourself...telling her compliments and boosting her self confidence...

Gradually your own behaviour will unconsciously rub off on her (it's happened to me before, each relationship I've been in has left me with some new enhanced gfriend behaviour )...

[NBT]

I understand how you feel (REALLY, I DO! lol) But this is really just your insecurity getting the best of you.

Needing constant reassurance is a bit much, but wanting to hear SOMETHING positive toward you (from her) is NATURAL.

However, she DID SAY that she was this way BEFORE YOU STARTED DATING.

Which means, you knew what you were getting yourself into (you likely just IGNORED it because it wasn't an ISSUE then)

As of now, try not to let it get to you too much. Everything else is going well, you don't need to cause friction where there isn't any.

Now, if you feel like you HAVE to bring it up, because it's getting to you THAT MUCH, try & do so in a "NOT so sensitive" manner.

For example...

Do it sarcastically like "I know how much you're DYING to tell me you love me/love my sex/think I look nice/want to make me feel better (whatever the issue is @ the moment) so, no need to bite your tongue. You're allowed to be vocal with it. I'll wait." (Then sit down with a look of sarcastic anticipation on your face)

Just see what she says/does. She might get the hint, even if you're joking.

Or, try another sarcasm laced statement. Such as...

"You know what I've decided sweetie? As much as I told you NEVER to vocalize how you feel about me, I've decided to change my mind. I'm actually OKAY with getting a compliment here & there from you now. So yeah, you should start that. I won't be mad. I promise. In fact, for every compliment you give me today, that's an extra orgasm I'll give you tonight. I'm feeling generous."

(again, she knows you never really told her NOT to, but this is YOUR way of bringing it to her attention that you'd LIKE her to. You're just being sarcastic so you don't appear NEEDY.)

Get me?