I think I am falling for her, again..

[Chimera0110]

When I was in highschool, I had a crush on my best friend.

From the moment I saw her I fell for her. She was in my eyes the most attractive, funny and wonderfull girl I had ever seen. I got to know her, we became friends, and later we became best friends. A few years passed, my feelings didn't change, but on a day i got all my courage together and I told her I was in love with her. She said she didn't felt the same and said "Lets just be friends" (Anyone else who heared this line?) I didn't want to lose her, so I stayed in her life, being the friend. I saw her dating other guys (including my somewhat overweight best male friend), I was there for her when she was sad, ill and dumped,... Hoping for the moment she would see the light and fall into my arms.

Two years ago (4 years after I met her, we were in different colleges then) I went to her birthdayparty, wearing a T-shirt I made with written on it "I am your present, take me home!" She kissed some other guy that evening and dated him for over a year.
The day after that I broke all contact with her, I cut her out of my life.

A few months later I met my now ex-girlfriend and I had a very beautiful time with her. I was happy and even forgot about the other girl. But nice things aren't supposed to last long, so she broke up with me, said "she wasn't in love with me anymore".

So last month I contacted the "best friend girl" again, I just wanted a friend to talk to, someone who understands me, nothing more. We did some catching up, started to hang out on weekends,...

Last night we were watching a movie, I held her in my arms and it hit me, I am falling for her again!! I wanted to kiss her, but I just didn't had the courage.

I want someone in my life who loves me back, who says that everything is going to be ok when I need to hear it, I want someone who I can hold at night, I just want to know that there is someone who genuely cares about me..


So I am thinking, should I tell her?

If she wants me, wouldn't we be together already?

Why doesn't she give me a clear sign if she (doesn't) want's me?

Should I just wait?

Should I cut contact again?

I have plenty of other girls that are intrested in me, even a few who almost litteraly throw themselfs at my feet, but I am only interested in this one girl that I always tought was the one..

I would appreciate it a lot if someone could give me some insight or advice!



Thank you for reading!

[Chimera0110]

Anyone? I would appreciate the advice..

[tooxshort]

Well, she was hardly your best friend because you were in love with her. It just ain't in the mix.

You might as well just tell the girl you're falling for her now because the longer you wait, the harder the outcome may turn out. Better to get it over with while the reunion is fresh.

As for a clear sign, you did hold her in your arms while you watched a movie ... in most cases, that'd be considered a form of intimacy or the girl is messing with your head ... and if she's a good friend, then she isn't.

Just make sure she isn't a rebound ... or that you're not just in love with the idea of finally having the girl who shot you down in high school.

[alovehangoverr]

So I am thinking, should I tell her? There's a good chance she still knows how you feel.. especially if you broke contact with her and are now coming back to her. If you really feel it'll give you some closure on things, you can try it.. but honestly, I don't think it's going to go the way you want it to.

If she wants me, wouldn't we be together already? Simple answer? Yes. It sounds like you've had quite a lot of time to become "the one," for her and she's still not into it.. you can continue waiting around doing nice things for her hoping she'll notice how great you are in a relationship sense, but from the sounds of things, she's only going to consider how good of a friend you are from it. You can do as many nice things as you can think of for her.. but if she's not interested in you that way, it's pretty pointless on your end.

Why doesn't she give me a clear sign if she (doesn't) want's me? I think a clear sign was "I'm not interested/I want to be just friends." I don't think she's required to tell you anything else after that to reaffirm her point. Besides that, why should she? She probably enjoys the attention she gets from you and knows she can rely on you to give it to her.

Should I just wait? If you want to waste more time.. sure.

Should I cut contact again? It really depends on what's best for you-- if you think you can remain friends and JUST friends with her, then keep contact. If you think your feelings will get in the way, cut contact until you can get over it.

As for all these other girls interested in you-- why not give one of them a shot? You were able to have a relationship with one outside of this girl, so why not try it again? Do you think you're just holding onto this as a reason not to date?

[Tea for Two]

I think I understand you, because I'm in a very similar situation. The difference is I kissed her... and things didn't get any simpler.

Her earlier refusal isn't crucial here. Perhaps you both needed the time off to explore your intimate life and develop on your own. Maybe she didn't want to commit so early in her life, or waited for you to grow more confident - not a bumbling source of favors and compliments that you probably were in school (as I know I was ;-)

So, what should you do? I think your current stage is too early and too fluid to go telling her you're in love. Instead, spend enjoyable time with her, don't force intimacy, just have fun - but don't be afraid of sparks if they start to fly. Let things flow their natural course. When it feels right to kiss her, kiss her. Start with the cheek. But never try to seduce her - just flow with your chemistry and see where it takes you. If you don't end up together, you'll always have that night you held her, and you'll smile when the film comes up on TV. And that's not too shabby

[Gigabitch]

I disagree with Teabag, up there.

Make an actual move or you're in danger of ending up in the Friend Zone. And no, if she wanted you you wouldn't already be together. You know why? Because someone has to make a move to make that happen. That someone is YOU.

[Tea for Two]

I disagree with Teabag, up there.

Make an actual move or you're in danger of ending up in the Friend Zone. And no, if she wanted you you wouldn't already be together. You know why? Because someone has to make a move to make that happen. That someone is YOU.

I love that nickname - I laughed so hard I got tea all over my keyboard

And I (partly) disagree with you. Make a move, sure, but which move? Fall on his knees and profess his love? That would freak her out. You have to climb slowly out of the dreaded Friend Zone. First the cheek. Then the lips. THEN "I love you."