GF of 1 year 3 months left me for a guy she met online.

[valaken]

im a normal guy. job friends and life. me and my gf were together for a year and 3 months,a long time to some people and me. we were in love. i was close with the family and she was with mine. anyways,the last few months of the relationship i started closing up,i never held her hand,rarely said i love you,rarely expressed how i felt rarely communicated at all. and she started feeling locked out. through out most of our time together we played online games,and she made friends with a guy. i guess he was there for her to talk to when i wasnt. i never thought much of it. i figured they were just friends. so a few weeks later she breaks up with me,doesnt want to try to fix it. she ignores me and all that (was in the desperation stage) she later told me that she found someone else,and that she was flying to another state thousands of miles away to meet a stranger. only her and him entertained the idea but she didnt listen to anyone,she went anyways. sure enough i found out that they started a relationship and are happy. i was talking to the guy and she found out and got angry. she didnt talk to me for a week or so. then text me out of no where asking if i hated her,i told her i didnt want to talk about my feelings to a careless person. so said she wasnt careless and that she cared,i stopped talking to her. i later told he that i dont hate her that its the opposite,she never responded. her family doesnt approve of what shes doing,no one does. i love her very much and i know she has to love me. you dont stay with someone that long and not have feelings. should i just not talk to her at all until she contacts me or should i talk to her very little,just to let her know i exist. im sure shes got alot on her mind after a recent breakup and getting with some long distance guy,so she isnt thinking too clearly. what do i do? i want to make it work and i believe it can work.

[vashti]

Once the fantasy of her prince in shining armor wears off and reality sets in, she may come back. I don't know that you should take her back, though. what's to stop her from doing this again, especially once she knows you will forgive her?

[valaken]

thats very true. but on the second try i wouldnt lock her out. i give her the love she deserves. and if it happened again id be done for good. i hope she does realize and comes back. i dont want to see all that time and love go to waste over a human mistake.

[mrman256]

She's clearly stated that the price of your relationship is chatting on an internet game forum. That is insulting. However it sounds like you were getting bored of her towards the end so if that's the case why don't you find someone who gets your guns firing? If you want her back your going to have to ditch your pride and stop giving her the cold shoulder. Remember though that lowering your pride does not mean losing your integrity and self respect.

[Erica2004]

Well kinda sounds like a situation I was in a long time ago. The guy who left me for a girl online and further away broke up after a while he came crawling back and my luck I took him back but the thing with that it was an adventure for him and he couldnt stop doing it. I fell for it twice and after that I was done. I hope that if she does come back you need to make sure that she will not do it again and I would make her prove to you that she wont do that again. Just be careful and give it time. She will realize how much she misses you and all the things that you two did together.

[QueenofCorona]

If people show you who they truely are, believe them. Just because your relationship wasn't all "honeymoon" period anymore doesn't make it ok to peace out on her part. I would not take her back. Find a woman who can speak up and communicate when she needs something from you and listen to her.

[Doc Durian]

You don't want her back, mate.

She betrayed you. She left.

Think of it like your bum hole.

If someone went against the grain and rammed something up your arse when you trusted them, do you leave the door open for further shafting?

Nope, it's a one way only hole.

[valaken]

i really appreciate all the answers. i recently heard from the guy. and apparently they are in love and say it to each other and are just plain happy together. hes going to fly here next time and they are talking about her moving there. im just so lost. i love her and want to give it one more chance. would she come back to what she feels wasnt good? if all she thinks about is the bad parts why would she come back?

[valaken]

and long distance relationships dont have much of a good history do they? i mean without physical contact often wont they feel deprived. and if she remembers that i can be there everyday anyday,wouldnt that make her feel more comfortable. because i could be there in person whenever she wanted? a girls perspective on this would be nice.

[Erica2004]

Ok question valaken.. Do you want to live in missery and unhappy if she doesnt come back? You need to try and move on hun this isnt good for you and its just gonna cause more heartache. You seem like a sweet caring faithful guy who has fallen for the wrong girl. things in life happen for a reason and apparently she lost something great but look on the bright side something greater will be coming to you. In all honesty hun why would you want a girl back in your life who could possibly play you again? Please dont get yourself hung up on this.. There are plenty of women in this universe that cant even find a faithful guy when your a faithful guy but you cant move on to something greater cause your still connected to your ex. sorry not trying to be mean.

[valaken]

i understand what your saying. and that is good advice. but i know shes not a bad person. she just made a mistake. when your feeling unloved for months by someone you thought loved you,your going to start wanting that love. and he fed her that crap and probably convinced her to leave me. she was so hurt and neglected that she couldnt take it. thats how i see it. and ill wait for her,not forever but for long enough.

[vashti]

She doesn't consider this to be a mistake. She may consider YOU to be her mistake.

[Kaius]

it doesnt matter if she would come back or not. why did you stop being nice to her in the first place?
you probably stopped caring about her, and she felt it. If you loved her so much, why did you close up on her, and
not be affectionate? 15 months isn't all that long. and if you can't be affectionate during that period,
then you're probably not gonna make it in the long run.

[valaken]

well it was more of i took her for granted. i was nice. we just didnt communicate often and i never showed my affection. i felt like i didnt have to. sometimes i would forget to say i love you before bed or something like that and she never said anything about so i figured she knew i loved her you know? and it stayed like that. until she couldnt take it anymore. it was both of our faults,mine for doing what i did and not realizing it and hers for not sitting me down and telling me theres a serious problem. ive taken the path of not talking to her or her new BF. and just letting them do their thing. and hoping i can move on or she will come back. im hopeful either way.

[xxazurexx]

Sure, take her back. To take her back is no more than giving your approval that it was OK for her to have cheated on you.

Don't be surprised if she does it again and if she does return.

Don't be sitting around awaiting her returning however.....you could be waiting forever.