I'm freaking out.

[Herz]

I've become friends with a certain guy. We met 5 years ago, online. He's lives in another state, a good 12 hours away. We have never met. We talked online for the majority of that time. Off and on. But we always came back to talk to one another. He even admitted to having a crush on me a few years back, but I did not share the same feelings at the time. We started talking on the phone, and talked every other week.

Once I moved to a new home, we started talking everyday. I was really insecure about my new town and knew no one there, and he made me feel better. I began thinking of a deeper relationship between us. But it ended up not being a strong thought. I found a boyfriend who turned out to be a total loser. A few weeks after that he found himself a girlfriend. When he was telling me stories of their adventures I started feeling a sense of jealousy. I dont know of what though, of her being with him. Or of them having a better connection than me and my boyfriend at the time.

Towards the end of my relationship I came to a realization that I liked him? I broke it off with my loser boyfriend. I didnt say anything while he was still going out with her. But one night it slipped, I said I liked him. He said he liked me too and he has for a long time, but he likes his girlfriend also. Through out a couple of months we continued talking about it. Recently he has talked about dumping her for me, but at the same time is hesitant and didnt want to end up hurting her. He admitted to saying that the relationship started as a rebound. He was sad that I had gotten a boyfriend. Our conversations have gotten much more deeper. And we even made plans to meet soon. He told me that he was happy, cause his girlfriend might have found another guy, but it wasnt true. And now I'm freaking out. He's still seeing her, lying about how he feels about her. We're supose to be meeting shortly, and I definitly don't want him to cheat on her. I don't know if thats even cheating though. Is it? Just going to meet someone.

Not only am I worried about cheating. I'm worried that I might not like him as much as I thought. I honestly havent had a crush on anyone in the past 10 years. I dont want him to break up with his girlfriend and then have him realize I've changed my mind. I know I get excited when he calls me. I think he's kinda cute. we have loads in common. I sometimes think about him during the day and I smile and feel happy. I know it sounds stupid not knowing how you feel. He's my bestfriend practically. I just dont want to get swept away with something that is cause by something other than pure liking and ruin our friendship. I'm afaird Im still lonely and friendless, this is the reason I started dating my ex.

Does anyone have any advice on the matter? I feel like Im losing my mind.

[zro]

From a male's point point of view: dont put high hopes on this guy, dont get ahead of yourself, you havent even ****ing met yet, as you probably already know the internet is not a good way to start a romantic relationship as there is a physical aspect that cant be satisfied eg you might find him ****ing ugly when you do finally meet him

To be ****ing honest what he is doing is considered cheating in my opinion, he has already stated that he is interested in you and is willing to meet, in my view if it does not constitute cheating then why didnt he tell his girlfriend about???

You cant let your weak mind push you into doing things that you wouldnt normally do, when you do meet make sure it is a crowded public place...might sound paranoid but there are some ****ed up people out there, and dont hook up or get together people just because you are "lonely" and "friendless" - in my opinion it is better to be alone rather than get yourself involved with people that are below you or are deterimental to you, you have to toughen up mentally...people are overrated anyway

[Herz]

I know you guys are right, I was kinda hoping someone would say screw it go check it out and see what happens from there. I think the reason Im confused is cause I havent met him so I couldnt know for sure how I feel. But I definitly do not want to meet him when he's still attached. I know I dont want him to break up with his gf just to see. It sucks tho, cause I do really want to meet him. I think we would have a blast together.

[vashti]

I have crushes on lots of the males I have "met" on this forum. I am pretty sure if I met them in person, I would hate them all. Don't expect internet people to live up to your fantasy.

[Charlie Boy II]

Don't worry Vashti, if we met I would definitely live up to your fantasy - and then some.

[vashti]

It would be interesting to meet you in person, charlieboy. I bet you are nothing like your online personna.

[Charlie Boy II]

hahaha what makes you say that?

[vashti]

My impression of you is that you are clearly bright and funny, but you are also meaner than the average person. Most people keep that to themselves in real life.

[Charlie Boy II]

Yes I do feel a bit like a dog let off the leash on here.

[vashti]

Well, it's working for you, for the most part...

[Charlie Boy II]

eh? What's working for me?

[vashti]

Your online personna.

[Charlie Boy II]

I'm not all that different in real life. I reckon I'm a much happier person than might come across on here, but being an asshole online is enormous fun. Guys like Zro or that pink panther cat are like my little office stress balls.

I'm don't think I'm that mean on here, rude of course, but not all that mean. In fact I'd say I've only been really mean once and that was to Glyph.

I find being nice and polite online insufferable. What's the point? There's no real emotion here, you might get flashes of anger or sadness, but they disapate as soon as you close internet explorer.

[zro]

Charlie boy 1,2,3,4 5 or 6: then whats the point in being a numbnuts on the net then, if you are not like that in real life?? to make yourself feel better?? i have no problem with someone speaking their mind but it shows a lack of backbone if you back down in real life - theres nothing wrong with avoiding violence or confrontation in real life, but then why open your ****ing gap in the first place??? people should learn and accept their place

P.S: i dont normally go around looking for arguments like you do, but you mentioned my mother****ing name, so you are fair game then

[Charlie Boy II]

^^^ I said why Zro

being an asshole online is enormous fun. Guys like Zro or that pink panther cat are like my little office stress balls.

It's fun and relieves the work day's alternate periods of stress and boredom. I never said anything about avoiding confrontation in real life either. I'm nicer in real life because my actions have more consequences - if I told someone that was annoying me in real life to "**** off" they would be deeply hurt. On the internet it barely registers. Being nice isn't synonomous with avoiding confrontration Zro. Anyway I'll stop now, otherwise you'll be up all night reading.