Younger Man seeking to become more serious with an Older Woman

[NY.Love]

I am currently in a relationship with an older woman. I am 19 going on 20 and she just turned 40. I have many things in life in order and am on an excellent path. Currently, I have a 3.2 acura tl that I am driving, paid for in cash, own it. I attend college at a prestigious university, savings, stock options, and excellent physical shape (six pack abs, very nicely toned body). Anyway, I am seeking to become more serious with an older woman whom I am very attracted to. Initially, I began talking to her because she commented on how much she like my hair and wanted to run her fingers through it. And so, thats how we began talking. And she at first jokingly saying things like, Oh looking sexy. And then I thought to myself, Hey why don't I ask her if she actually is interested, maybe go out or if anything establish a new friendship. So we've been seeing each other and as things progress, I'm curious as to what's next. Can I continue seeing her and want a more committed relationship? Because I would love to have that with her, but I am not sure if she wants the same. How could I find out without directly asking her?

[vashti]

Although I m sure she would enjoy your company immensely, i wouldn't think she would be available to you for a serious relationship due to the age gap. If you are happy dating each other until something more suitable comes along, then by all means, do it. You could learn a lot.

[BoredGeorge]

Old women smelly funny, find a nice young chick you can toss around. They have nice bums too. Old women are all flabby.

[lostinconfusion]

i think you might be her boy toy :-\ women hit their sexual peek at 40 and males at 20, so sexually you guys are on the same frequency. i think you should have fun, but i wouldn't give my heart to her if i was you.

[NY.Love]

I'm sure she would enjoy my company, no question about it. She does have other obligations though. But I have feelings for her that I haven't felt for anyone else and she is mature enough to handle a serious relationship that girls my age can't. So my thinking is why waste time with someone who doesn't appreciate you, thinks they are so attractive, and has no life experience. She has everything that I want from another human being. And the guy who said old women smell and are flabby. Let me tell you this, some older woman like the one I'm with, put some young girls to shame. Plenty of girls my age that are fat and gross looking. Just need to find someone on your level. And the sex is much better to. Not only that but she is bisexual.

Anyway, like I said in my original post, finances are pretty good, education is moving along as it should, my own car, my own apartment. I mean theres plenty of guys that are 10-15 years older than me that still don't have that. And I'm not looking to round the bases and get with every girl I think is cute, just trying to focus on whats important and I feel that I can do that being with her and having her support me when I need it. Does this sound unrealistic?

[vashti]

i think the risk you run is that one of you are going to become more attached than is appropriate. The age gap WILL become a problem, it's just a question of when. That is why we are advising you to keep your expectations realistic.

[CocoChanel]

You don't have much life experience either. You should want to be with someone you can grow with. At 40 years old... she has menopause to look forward to. You say you want a serious relationship... does this mean Marriage and Children in the future? Chances of that happening with a 40+ year old is slim to none.

[vashti]

Eh, at 19, he likely isn't thinking about kids and growing old with someone, nor should he be. That is what GIRLS thinking about at this age. He is probably just looking to make a connection. This is why I don't really have an issue with him dating her for the experience. Older women are generally more emotionally stable, and aren't likely to run of and do something silly like getting knocked up to catch a boy. Also, the sex drives are a better match.

So for a long term partner? No. But as a life experience? Sure, why not? There is plenty of time to get saddled with a younger girl later on.

[NY.Love]

Okay, forgot to mention some details here. 1. She has a 9 year old kid and 2. Hasn't ever been married. So if me and her ever did get that serious then marriage would be new for the both of us. And plus being that she has a kid already and I help her with her kid then its like I'm not really missing out on anything I could of had with anyone else. Gives me a big incentive to get that six figure salary to. I just need to become a certified CPA which is what I'm working towards at the moment. Her, yes she is a life experience, is very emotionally stable, provides emotional support to me, and ever since I met her things have been going my way. How many 19 year old kids do you know that have their own apartment, luxury car, pay for school out of pocket, 45k a year salary, and six pack abs? I mean in my opinion I'm a pretty good catch so I'm thinking she should be happy to stay with me and want everything that I want with her. Only thing that might be an issue is that she is bisexual. Not that I disapprove of it or anything but she has to make up her mind about what she likes.

[Sonrisa]

Old women smelly funny, find a nice young chick you can toss around. They have nice bums too. Old women are all flabby.

how would you know? it's not like an old woman would ever lay hand on you

[CocoChanel]

Well I know a lot of them like that in Washington DC, New York and in California. That isn't anything spectacular. You are glorifying on the materials you have but what about your Personality? Morals? Intentions? Character?

[Yggdrasil]

Are you looking for a sugarmom?

Oh and yeah..don't be so controlling.. she's bi-sexual, there's crap you can do about that. What makes you think she's going to become heterosexual? Because you say so? LOL.. dream on.

Anyways... are you looking for a sugarmom? Or do you have a mother complex?

Both are serious questions you should ask yourself.

[vashti]

Okay, forgot to mention some details here. 1. She has a 9 year old kid and 2. Hasn't ever been married. So if me and her ever did get that serious then marriage would be new for the both of us. And plus being that she has a kid already and I help her with her kid then its like I'm not really missing out on anything I could of had with anyone else. Gives me a big incentive to get that six figure salary to. I just need to become a certified CPA which is what I'm working towards at the moment. Her, yes she is a life experience, is very emotionally stable, provides emotional support to me, and ever since I met her things have been going my way. How many 19 year old kids do you know that have their own apartment, luxury car, pay for school out of pocket, 45k a year salary, and six pack abs? I mean in my opinion I'm a pretty good catch so I'm thinking she should be happy to stay with me and want everything that I want with her. Only thing that might be an issue is that she is bisexual. Not that I disapprove of it or anything but she has to make up her mind about what she likes.

The one thing I would caution you about is involving yourself with her kid. If she is a good mama, she won't let you near him/her because this relationship - realistically speaking - has almost no possibility of lasting, and it is wrong to drag multiple men through a child's life because they are unable to process the grief of continually losing people when relationships don't work out.

Other than that, I think you DO sound like a good catch (except your fixation on the perfection of your abs, which most 40 year old women don't attach much value to). I can see why you aren't interested in wasting your time with the majority of girls your age.

[CocoChanel]

Yeah but he thinks she SHOULD be interested in him because of his Salary, Six Pack, and Luxury Car... if I were a dude I would want a female to be interested in me for more reasons than that. I know plenty of people just like him and some of them lack common sense even though they have all the book smart thing down.

[vashti]

Adults having a car and a job are marks of maturity. If a 19 year old kid wants to date an older woman, he had better have more to offer than his pretty face... most grown women aren't interested in supporting more children.

Anyway, I assume if he is able to attract and hold the attention of a grown woman, he has more to offer than these toys. The fact that he has been able to earn them shows a great deal more maturity and drive than most young people possess.