Is he cheating?

[Kelsey777]

Ive been with my boyfriend almost three years. We don't live together. I live with my parents, he stays with his brother. He comes over ever night when he gets out of work, and spends Sundays with me. I have a distrusting nature...so it's difficult for m to determine whether or not my feelings or thoughts are logical. I fear he might be cheating for the following reasons....

1-Last Weekend we were hanging out and he got a phone call while I was sitting next to him. It was a lady from a loan company (who knew his first name) asking about a reference for *insert unknown female name* He told the lady on the phone he never heard of her. Then he called his mother and father to ask if they knew the woman. Whoever the woman was, must have put him down as a personal reference for a loan. Yet he swears he don't know anyone by that name, nor does his family after we asked them.

2- I almost always have to initiate sex. It's always been that way. He tends to be selfish in the bedroom. Also last weekend, we were finally able to have sex after it had been over a week and a half without, (We couldn't do it because he had a herpes outbreak...which he says he has herpes because his ex who cheated on him gave it to him) Well, he didnt last long, and I didnt orgasm. So i asked him nicely to go down on me, because I hadnt finished. He rolled his eyes and I told him that I wouldnt take long. I could tell he didnt want to, so I couldnt enjoy it, and he got mean. So I pulled my pants up and told him not to bother. He pushed me (not hard, he never hit me before) and got real pissed. He ended up apologizing to me, but didnt try to get me off. He just ate icecream watched tv and snuggled me.

I keep myself clean too, he just dont want the juices to get on his face or whatnot. Even when he doesnt have outbreaks we have sex once maybe twice a week if Im lucky, and I always have to make the moves. (If I don't nothing will happen). We see eachother every day. I tried talking to him about the amount we have sex 5 months ago, and he promised wed do it more...and then we do it more for like one week and then its back to once a week.

3-He lied to me about little stuff before. Like smoking pot with my brother...when he knew I didnt want to date someone who smokes pot. He also refuses to admit little lies like that unless I have undisputable evidence.

4- His father has cheated on all his gfs and wives. My boyfriend is one of 16 legitimite children by his father...theres even more illegitimate children.

5-He used to be a heroin addict (Although I don't know if its fair to associate promiscuity with that)

6-I usually cant get a hold of him on his phone, except when he says he gets out of work...his phone dont seem to get service anywhere

7-he don't want to move in together yet and get an apartment together yet he wants to move out of his brothers, (he's 26 and Im 22) He said he dont want to because of financial reasons,and because I "free ride" at home

8-He gets mad if I ask him too many questions about his day (I can tend to ask suspiciously at times)

9- He doesn't have a standard 9-5 work schedule. Sometimes he goin in early, sometimes late, sometimes he has saturdays off, usually he doesnt. So he could easily lie, and say hes working when hes not...and I cant get a hold of him at work. He never calls me on his lunch.

10-Even though we see each other every day its only from 7:30-11:00 Mon-Saturday and all day Sunday. I dont know if he actually works til 6 every day like he says. Last Saturday he didnt have work and spent the whole day with me though.


Im sorry this is so long, but I can't trust my judgment. Please let me know what you think

[VincenzoG91]

Trust your instincts this time. This guy sounds like a cheater to me. And even if he isn't a cheater, he sounds like a lousy boyfriend. How much of your life do you want to waste on a guy who is secretive, selfish, and dishonest? Probably any random, average guy would be a prize compared to your boyfriend.

[asdfg789]

I would agree with Vincenzo that he doesn't sound like the best boyfriend you can have.

But at the same time, you do sound terribly insecure to me and it can be a major turn-off for many men.

Just my 0.02 ...

[Kelsey777]

I would agree with Vincenzo that he doesn't sound like the best boyfriend you can have.

But at the same time, you do sound terribly insecure to me and it can be a major turn-off for many men.

Just my 0.02 ...

I am very insecure. I have codependent tendencies, and eating disorders. Haha, but I guess that's why I joined a love forum...so I can gather advice before I take action.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Eh, i dont think his cheating at all. His just lousy bf who dont wanna grow up and take responsibility. He just takes you for granted and wants to be able to do what he wants cuz he knows u wont go.

[xxazurexx]

I don't think that there is anything 'positive' and from that list, that points to he is a cheater...

A LOUSY boyfriend, YES.

[vince5959]

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