Girlfriend's past relationships

[mir]

I am going to make it quick. I have been dating my gf for about a year now and about 5 months ago she told me that she had one more ex than what she has told me before and she didn't wanted to tell about him since I know him. Since that day I am kind of trapped with these negative thoughts that come and go. What I am really asking is that is there anyone with the same issue and if so did it go away and how? I do care about her a lot she is the first person I fell for and before her I haven't had done a lot but I it is not like I was a virgin either.

[surfhb]

She should have said something before but she had her reason and she came clean. Celebrate the fact she did this because she cares for you.

Why the fuuckkk do you care!? Man up, pull the tampon out and decide its time to start acting like a Man.

[mir]

I wish I had the answer to your question. I have been trying to figure out why I care abou that. I searched through every corner of my mind to figure that question out and make myself comfortable with it, maybe I've over done it. But I guess my main question is how you will become comfortable it. I mean do I need to be OK even if I think of them together. I know my question might sound stupid but a part of growing up is I guess figuring out how I can handle stuff and in this one I am really new and a bit lost!

P.S. I DO NOT blame her for not telling me and I don't think she has done some thing wrong. I actually think it was very sweet of her to not tell me at first since I know the guy and I also understand her honesty and really appreciate that.

[vashti]

Honestly, you just sound very young to me. I think worries like this tend to resolve themselves with a bit of age and wisdom, and also confidence which is gained as a relationship feels more stable.

I think you should just try to ignore the uncomfortable feelings until they just go away. Don't talk about them, and don't obsess about them.

[jb1111983]

Seriously why do you care? Whatever happened in the past was before she got in a relationship with you. Everyone has a past. What matters is that she is with you and cares for you. Now don't let your obsession with her past ruin your relationship with her (yes it has the potential to kill the relationship). Accept her the way she is, not who she was or was with, just the way she seems to have accepted you with all your wonderful traits and flaws.

[HeartIsAching]

I've had exes that have gone out with people I've known before me... big deal.

I've known my wife's ex for as long as I've known her, and while I'd like to effing pound him (I won't indulge myself there) it's because of the damage he's done to her that we're slowly putting back together, not because of anything else, and I certainly don't feel anything negative about her for having been with him. Well, except that she should've left him long before she did.

[vashti]

I've known my wife's ex for as long as I've known her, and I'd like to effing pound him

ooh, you're a kinky bastard! lol

[HeartIsAching]

ooh, you're a kinky bastard! lol

LOL, I didn't even see that. Obviously I meant "beat him senseless.

[mir]

Thanks guys. Yeah I am not that old I guess and it is the first time I am in love so I guess overall I am not mature enough. I am just tired of these thoughts and may be I made them worse by trying to solve them by actually thinking about them consciously. Any ways thanks a lot, and I will surely try to get over them. cheers.