Girlfriend issues that I can't figure out!

[sensitiveguy]

Well, basically I've been going out with my gf for 7 months now and I have really strong feelings for her. I'd do anything for her no matter what. She has told me she has strong feelings for me too and we both get on very well together.

But sometimes she would just ignore calls or texts from me. Initially, I was not really worried about that but it seems to becoming more consistent now. I know obviously she has a life and I don't expect her to jump to talk to me all the time.

The thing that does make me feel strange or concerned or insecure, I guess, is when I am the person asking all the questions. When someone is asking all the questions and making all the effort it seems like its all one way. I've tried giving her queues and hinting at things for her to ask me about but sometimes she's just wrapped up in herself. I guess I'm trying to work out if this is normal but for me I think its impossible for my gf to have the same feelings for me when basic things like this worry me.

Perhaps, I'm overthinking it but she does say she loves me but sometimes I question inside myself if she truely does, because she's says one thing but her behaviour and actions would say something else.

The other thing I don't understand is that she has a guy friend that she is friendly with and he fancies the pants off her. I've told her about this and it took alot of effort to tell her how I felt and she has told me she's not gonna do things with him or anything.

Finally, I don't think I've done anything wrong I truely love this girl and I'd give anything for her, but I'm unsure if she thinks the same for me. I care for her when she is sick, give her an ear when she's worried, listen to her concerns, and tell her how amazing she is. I always spend any money I have with her and buy her things as a treat. This has been therapeutic for me just typing this out, and apologies for the length of post...

Any idea's on my predicament or thoughts/feelings?

[NewToLove]

I'm an insecure guy and i feel like you are too, even though you say you don't mind this or that, but the fact the remember these small details means it really bothers you.

to be honest with you, I'd man up and tell the guy to f**k off because you don't want him to mess around with your girlfriend.

however, if your girlfriend craves such attention from other guys, she's not for you or US as the overly insecure/jealous type of guys... I really don't know why girls misunderstand us, isn't it natural to be protective of someone you love so much and want so much?

[sensitiveguy]

Thanks for that Alex! You really did hit it on the head there, and you seem to understand what I'm feeling. She does seem to crave attention of other guys a lot, I would say she has as much guy-friends as she does girlfriends. Which is fine, when the guys hardly know her and say they have feelings fer and she talks to them more, it doesnt make me feel very well.

I guess I am insecure but I agree with you, when you love someone I think its natural to think about these things looking out for your girlfriend.

It is natural to be protective, and I'm definitely not overprotective like I don't need to know what she is doing every minute of the day but all I ask is to not make me feel awkward with messing with guys who might have feelings for her or are attracted to her.

[Rico Bravo]

I always spend any money I have with her and buy her things as a treat.

Stop doing that. Until you've figured out where you're going, keep and save your hard earned money. Women don't need your money or monetary treats if they're worth a darn. I'm not saying don't be courteous, just don't try to buy her heart. You'll regret it if/when she burns you. I'm not say'n, just say'n.

As for the sense of unrequitedness, your gut is likely right. Lay it all out on the line. Either she wants that, or she'll recoil. Both are good...saves you all the dwelling you could be spending on life.

[sensitiveguy]

Thanks Rico, yea as of late I've learned that myself because of my doubts. I've started thinking theres no point in spending money with her because she could just use me. It won't happen anymore but yea I can be corteous and kind without going out of my way to spend things on her. Agreed on that.

[Lahrell]

You sound like a friend of mine who has a girl like that too. Though he lives in UK and she lives in NL.

She seems to crave attention from guys too and "dumped" him for the time being, aka she found someone else, but he doesn't think she does. Though they only dated for 2 months.

Is this a LDR or a normal relationship btw? Also, there's nothing wrong in having alot of guy friends, I have myself as well, but they're friends and the ones who felt more I backed off from them untill they could be just friends again, which worked fine. Talking more to them only comes over "lets see what they have in store for me".

I don't trust these kind of girls needless to say.

[sensitiveguy]

Yea sorry for not posting back, its a normal relationship. I think really its just pure imaturity on her part...she really does act spoilt and childish at times. Like she says she tests me sometimes and things. It may sound silly but at times she will have like a little heart with other guys names on her IM display name. Which, makes me feel a little uneasy. I guess girls are different in a way being all loving with friends but for me its uncomfortable and I have asked her about it and her response is always "do you not trust me?" of course I trust her but I can't help but feel insecure when she tells me things like "i had a bottle of rosé with my friend andrew at his house and we watched a movie". am I being really too protective or should i end this relationship?

[Yggdrasil]

Seems like you're getting mixed messages there bud. That can be very confusing. I'd suggest back off and let her come to you. She'll tell you where you're standing. (tuff to do but it'll give you the answers you need).

[Juristhea]

Seems like you're getting mixed messages there bud. That can be very confusing. I'd suggest back off and let her come to you. She'll tell you where you're standing. (tuff to do but it'll give you the answers you need).

Doing this is extremely difficult, especially for a guy like you. But as Yggdrassil said, it will give you the answers and tell you where she stands.

If she doesn't come to you, well you already have your answer.

[sensitiveguy]

Thanks guys and girls, much appreciated