I am in love with one of my best friends. It is a long story but I would appreciate any advice I get. I have know her since I was 12 years old. She had a major crush on me in High school. I was interested in another girl at the time so I had to let her down gently. A year passed and it was New Year. We were dancing and I really liked her at this stage. We took a walk and were sitting in each others arms and I went for the kiss. She pulls away and asks me what I am doing. Turns out she wanted to get one back at me for telling her I couldn't be with her.

The next year we hooked up (just kissed) I was living in a different country and she said it would never work. Four or five years passed and we stayed friends. We talked about the passed and forgave each other.

We are both now in our late 20's and last year we moved to the same city and started hanging out again. She sees me like a brother I think and always tells me about the guys she sees and how they are never perfect. This year I moved in to a house with her and two other friends. It is tearing me apart having to see her all the time. I had a feeling this would be a bad idea but I didn't want to live with strangers. Sometimes I feel we are flirting but I have no idea really, i have always been terrible with women.

She was telling me today about how she was crying about her ex she broke up with months ago. I tried to comfort her with a hug and she said 'don't touch me'. When she has a few drinks in her I feel she gets a bit closer, more touchy. I am dying inside. I can't seem to find the will to pursue anyone else, no one compares. I have never had a long-term girlfriend and I haven't been laid in three years. No one compares. When she tells me about her perfect guy I feel she is describing the kind of person I am but I think she thinks I am immature when i comes to women.

I am so depressed I now fined it hard to be in good humor when I am with her. When I think there might be a chance I am happy. But when she told me not to touch her today it killed me.

Thoughts?