Women do you really notice your "prime"?

[quiXilver]

I've had 2 girlfriends in the past that just didn't seem to "care" about sex too much. When we did it, it was great and they were in it 100%. But as far as initiating it, just wasn't happening. Both girls were in their 20's and on birth control. I know BC has a lot to do with it, but girls, do you remember just not really caring too much in your 20's then BAM later on you can't live without it??

[vashti]

Absolutely. I can't help but wonder if women in their 20s are exaggerating when they talk about how horny they always are, because that wasn't my experience at all. I craved male affection and attention, but not so much the sex, which I could take or leave. My sex drive didn't catch up to that of a male until my mid 30s, when it became on par with a male in his prime, and I understand it will be this way until I go through menopause.

God played a sick joke on us all.

[vashti]

I would like to add that young women don't hold a lot of power when they are in their 20s and have not much more to offer than their sexual beauty, so I can see why they might exaggerate. It really plays into so many male fantasies...

[quiXilver]

Absolutely. I can't help but wonder if women in their 20s are exaggerating when they talk about how horny they always are, because that wasn't my experience at all. I craved male affection and attention, but not so much the sex, which I could take or leave. My sex drive didn't catch up to that of a male until my mid 30s, when it became on par with a male in his prime, and I understand it will be this way until I go through menopause.

God played a sick joke on us all.

It seemed all the ones that liked to have sex were crazy as hell. Now that I find one that has everything and is not crazy, she doesn't like sex as much as I do, lol. It sounds bad, but is it!? She's beautiful and sexy as hell, how can I "suppress" my physical feelings?? I want to have sex with her just about every time we hang out together. She is the other way around and says she could be good once a week. There is NO initiation from her unless she is drunk Just to clear up thoughts, I don't just like her for sex, she is great! So great in everything other than sex that it makes me want her more because I'm so emotionally attracted to her as well. Oh well, hopefully things will change in the future...I'm not going to dump her just because she won't have sex with me as much as I would like her to. She has way too many good qualities.

[vashti]

yeah, her sex drive will rise probably just when yours is beginning to fall. Life is so unfair. In the meantime,you will have to have good negotiation skills, and hopefully a sympathetic partner.

[Junket]

Mine is getting close to 30, so I think we're in pretty good standing.

[kms]

Well even if she does feel horny she may still not initiate, particularly if that's something she isn't comfortable with, or if that's more her personality. I'll be ridiculously horny and still not initiate with my SO because the thought seems mortifying and completely 'unsexy.' Rationally I know this is incorrect but 20+ years of sexual repression due to a strict religious upbringing will do that to a person. Plus I'm indirect in general, so even though I feel much more comfortable with my sexuality than in the past, I would still rather give hints than just flat out say 'hey let's fcuk.' That just is not a turn-on for me. Could be the same for her too.

[lahnnabell]

My sex drive is currently higher than my guy's. It's a little frustrating at some points because I would love to just be taken advantage of instead of putting it out there. He's aware that it's a bit of an issue, but not something that I would reprimand him for.

Some of the girls he's been with have been rather selfish with their own needs (refusing to go down on him, insisting he not use tongue when kissing her because she didn't like it), so I'm working on getting him used to a chick that actually enjoys making him feel good without expecting something in return.

And he just naturally seems to be the type of guy that isn't interested in sex all the time. Which is fine, but it's difficult at times 'cause I'm such a horn-dog.

[quiXilver]

Yea, I guess her mom was real strict with her growing up about not letting her do anything like going out where there might be boys and no parental supervision etc..and sex before marriage was a big no no. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it...but damn it..grow up!!??

My only other issue is really oral or anything out of the norm. She doesn't really like to try any new positions like "reverse cowgirl" because her butt will be "all out" in the open. I mean..c'mon..I tell you that you're beautiful all the time, I love your body, and I can't keep my hands off of you...why are you still so damn self conscience?

She also is really weird about oral...she thinks it's "weird". She doesn't like to do it, or receive it. I have friggin' DREAMS about wanting to do it and she has a beautiful pefect you know what area down there and it kills me...I just want her to open up

[lahnnabell]

It may be that you have mismatched sexual compatibility. This can make or break relationships, sadly.

[jessZ]

Sounds like a clear mismatch to me....

I'm 27 and have definately noticed an increase in my libido from my mid to late 20's. Everyone is different I guess, but I know that in my early 20's I lacked confidence and wasn't all that adventurous. Now I'm pretty much the opposite of that - I'm almost always up for it and could easily do it all day every day if there was time, pretty much. lol.

I'm also way more adventurous than my early 20's. A large part of why I broke up with my previous bf of 5yrs is actually because we 'grew apart' sexually. We tried lots of things to work it out, but in the end I was dissatisfied because I wanted it a lot more often than him and he just wasn't willing to experiment. My current bf and I, however, are a pretty much perfectly matched and I couldn't be happier!

[Mallory]

It also depends on what kind of pill she is taking. If its a very strong one it might kill her libido and it gets even worse with time. I was on a minipill first and my drive was normal before (3 times a week was enough). I stopped taking it and now I am sometimes in the mood for it every day depending on the time of cycle. When you are not on the pill you are more attracted to your guy, you just 'want' him. Except you met him while being on the pill, then it could backfire (in case you find out you are not attracted to him sexually). But I don't know about any such cases. I also met my man while not being on the pill. If a girl does not want much sex it could be the pill or she isn't really satisfied/attracted enough. Why would you not want something often that is so much fun?

[jessZ]

Yeah I can't take the pill for this reason - I think that's a pretty common side effect.