Are these hints or innocent kind gestures?

[Adam Control]

Hey guys! I'm new here and I'm in a very difficult situation that I really don't wanna screw up.

Long story short, my girlfriend and I were together for 5 years and broke up in November. Our relationship was great but she lost interest. Long story. I bugged her for the first 3 months to the point where she would not talk to me anymore.

Soooo... After no contact for over a month, dating and recovering my confidence I slowly reconnected with her through Facebook with innocent messages. I told her I was planning to be in there area to go clothes shopping and that we should meet for coffee.

Now, we met up and had a great time but there are some details that I am unsure if they are hints or how to take them. I really would love to have her back and do not want to mess this up.

Here are some details:
-Instead of meeting me for coffee she offered to come shopping with me.
-Her dog and I have a love affair (sounds dumb but I am in love with her yorkie, Mishca!) so she said "yay, you can come see Mischa!". Before I came by, she gave the dog a bath just so she would be clean for me.
-When we were together, for holidays and birthdays she would make me home made white chocolate candies which I love so when I arrived, turns out she made me the same chocolates for Easter as she always did.
-On the ride there, a car cut us off and I had to jam on my brakes. I said "Well, if we crashed..." and she tried to finish the sentence with "...at least we would die together". But I was totally not even thinking anything like that.
-As we were shopping she said "it feels like we had just seen eachother yesterday".
-We shopped for about 3 hours and ate dinner and had drinks for another 3. I didn't once bring up our relationship.
-She had asked me to text her when I got home. When I did she replied with she had a nice time and thank you.

Afterwards, we wrote back and forth briefly with smoe small talk on Facebook.

The next day, no contact.

The next, I texted her with "hi" (probably shouldn't have done that) with no response but she did comment a photo on my Facebook.

The next day, her birthday, I called her and left an message with a pleasant happy birthday wish. No call back but she may have been busy. I did post a funny comment on her Facebook to which she replied with laughter.

Now I'm unsure if these were hints she was dropping or if she was just being nice. She is extremely nice. How should I proceed? Should I try to ask her out again? How? It's just a delicate situation and I am proud of the progress I have made. I just don't want to mess it up.

[carl1222]

Adam, it sounds like your romance with this girl is over. Your 5 year relationship didn't end because you couldn't get along, it ended because she lost the romantic spark ... it happens sometimes, nobody's fault.

And because she likes you so much as a person, it's natural that she hopes to find you in a place where you can give her all she is able to give you ... a close friendship based on all the good memories.

You can't really win her back, because you never lost her ... that happened in her mind and her body. If you want to take an enormous risk, you can try to be her friend in the hope that the spark will re-ignite for her, but that's very doubtful.

Trying to be just a friend when you want more is about as painful as it gets, so my advice is to let it go and move on to someone who can love you back.

Carl.

[Aeradalia]

Seems you have been 'friend-zoned' and she is being very polite about it. She may not even view you as a close friend either...

In any case, you are hinting at romantic interests and her response is to put you on hold... which is a good indication that she does not share the same interests --- she isn't wanting a romantic relationship with you. And because she senses that you want her romantically, she's trying to gently dissolve a friendship as well.

I think this is your cue to move on. She doesn't have the same feelings as you... and is trying to do the honorable thing by not stringing you along as a 'friend,' which would only feed false hope for you.

[Adam Control]

Yeah. I was afraid of that but it helps to get someone else's opinion. Thank you guys!

[inabadplace]

Adam, it sounds like your romance with this girl is over. Your 5 year relationship didn't end because you couldn't get along, it ended because she lost the romantic spark ... it happens sometimes, nobody's fault.

And because she likes you so much as a person, it's natural that she hopes to find you in a place where you can give her all she is able to give you ... a close friendship based on all the good memories.

You can't really win her back, because you never lost her ... that happened in her mind and her body. If you want to take an enormous risk, you can try to be her friend in the hope that the spark will re-ignite for her, but that's very doubtful.

Trying to be just a friend when you want more is about as painful as it gets, so my advice is to let it go and move on to someone who can love you back.

Carl.

OMG that was the most thought out response to anything i have ever had an to be honest it made me realize my ex is a bitch an ill never get her back thanks carl honestly that opened my eyes

[Adam Control]

Y'know, I was thinking about it. I think I'm going to keep trying. It may hurt a little bit but as time went on it did get easier. I really am no longer depressed about it but I would really enjoy having her back. If she will not come back then I would rather know that I had tried. I'm going to take the risk of being friendly. I can handle it. Not trying to sound cocky but I do very well with women and I am dating knowing that there may be someone out there for me. But if I get her back, that would be great. If not, I am strong enough to deal with that hand. Thank you for the honesty and great advice!