How can something that seems Right go so Wrong

[Sunshine17]

I have been with my significant other for over 4 years now, 2 years into the relationship, he decided to come back to our city as he was away at college, so he transferred back he says it was for me. During that year, I became pregnant with twins while he was in college, he was completely supportive, attentive as he made sure with of course advise from his father to do what was I guess the right things to do as a man. His mom did not know anything in respect to my pregnancy because I was told by him and his father she would not take it well so they kept her in the dark about it. 8 months into my pregnancy I was told his mother found out, she was so upset that she made it her responsibility to call and threaten me.. I will say this much, I was told he had a girlfriend, I was told she was going to get a lawyer so he can write off his writes to his children, and then I was told I would never step foot into her house. With all that of course I broke down into tears. I could not channel or understand where all her hate was coming from.
Well, needless to say, It ended up where his father felt it was best to let his mother know I left the city to return home to my city to avoid all the necessary unwanted drama. As I never truly left, his father apologized for his wife behaviour and told me its not that he wants to lie to her but she gets beyond herself when it comes to protecting her son because she does not know my intensions. As women tend to be evil.
I will not get into the details of my birth but my twins were born and one of them did not make it... It was a very dramatic experience I can not express that loss nor would I want anyone to experience but I stayed strong for my baby that did.

because of all that I endored, I felt dont ask me why to do a little snooping.. going thru my bf phone I noticed repeared numbers then of course checking his facebook.. ohh yeah ..Bingo I found out while I was pregnant he was talking to his ex, he was cheating on me with this other chick.. and yes I comfronted him in the worst way because I just could not believe it. We got past it. and the last year of him being in college he moved in with me. He helped me in more ways than usual. He graduated from college and his mother a year before graduation became excepting to our child she finally came around as he and his father told her I came back. Seems like things are working out.. Wrong.

After he graduated, he decided he wanted to return back to the college he left to finish up his masters at first he felt that we all should go together but at the last minute he decided it was best to go and move in with his frat bros because it was a better way for him to save money so he could help us. Before he left he told me he would try to make it back every week, and help me pay my rent, as well as help me get someone to help me once a week with the cleaning of my apt. As I found out 3 months before he left we were expecting another baby. My whole thing is, and I do not want to be anyway selfish is why would he leave knowing our responsibilty?

I do not want for not to be better ...But regardless, since hes been away hes been out every weekend, he calls me every day and we will sit and talk about the progress of our child but afterwhich he always comes back with excuses like ..I gonna call you back, or I going to go eat, ..or I going jump in the shower ..each of these excuses he will take an hour before he calls me back or sometimes he won't .. his excuse is when I call ooOO Im just jumping in the shower now.. Im like are you kidding me? then he will call back like 15mins in.. saying are you better now? When I get so heated when he does that which I think is rude and stressful .. he says, I will call u back when your in a better mood? He just been such an ..Ahole since hes left. And I really hate his new actions towards me. I told him if I find out hes doing me wrong Im going to really go off on him, He then says if Im stressed out by him so much what am I doing with him? I like because I care about our family. Then I flipped and asked him the same question? He had no responses. He just kept putting it all on me. He will then just say Im going to bed.. and stay on the phone and fall asleep on me.. After being away for about 4 months he has decided to come back for only 4/days to visit with just me and his child whose now 2 1/2 yrs. I have not gone up to see him due to trying to save money.

I believe, and I maybe wrong that hes not being faithful eventhough he swears up and down he is. He does request I call him every morning to wake him up but that does not mean anything... At this point, I have nothing to prove that he is.. its all just based off of what I believe ...I guess Im reaching out because I just want another man's intake on this.. As there comes a lot of drama with his mother ..as yes she does know about this pregnancy because we told her ..she wasnt happy but it was nothing like when she first found out, And I also know she tells him things about me as she did encourage him to go away to pursue his masters. As she is so proud hes doing it ... But I know it was not for the right intensions.. And him living with 3 frat bros, does not sit well with me not at all.. to me its more like a frat house but when I do call hes always in his room or in the bathroom and I do not hear anyone or any loud noises .. Right now his father is that one that does assist me as much as he can by taking me to my doctors appt but his mother gets upset when he does so we just do not tell her. As he says hes just filling in for him till he gets back. He be away for 2yrs ..and he ask that we come up to move with him for the last year but its not very partical as Washington is not a cheap state. So, I have to do some real thinking. so im just stumped ..really stumped .. and thats my story

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Seems like the guy's dad is the only one worth anything in this whole story. You are a moron for not using any kind of protection, especially the second time around. You're also a moron for thinking his behavior would change. Dude who cheats on pregnant girlfriend is probably going to continue cheating. Your boyfriend is definitely banging other women still, and wants nothing to do with these children. His mother is loony, but you know that already. Hmm, have I left anything out?

It would be smart to start moving on from this man, but you don't strike me as being very smart or learning well from mistakes, so I suggest you just grow tougher skin. Instead of calling him all the time, just take care of your kids, and try to enjoy yourself when you can. Find joy in your kids, and stop looking for it from this guy. Stop the morning phone calls, and just be very short with him.

[Sunshine17]

Seems like the guy's dad is the only one worth anything in this whole story. You are a moron for not using any kind of protection, especially the second time around. You're also a moron for thinking his behavior would change. Dude who cheats on pregnant girlfriend is probably going to continue cheating. Your boyfriend is definitely banging other women still, and wants nothing to do with these children. His mother is loony, but you know that already. Hmm, have I left anything out?

It would be smart to start moving on from this man, but you don't strike me as being very smart or learning well from mistakes, so I suggest you just grow tougher skin. Instead of calling him all the time, just take care of your kids, and try to enjoy yourself when you can. Find joy in your kids, and stop looking for it from this guy. Stop the morning phone calls, and just be very short with him.

After reading your reply your absoletly right, I should have been a whole lot smarter. Moving on was exactly what I was going to do it "Hurts" but its whats best. Right now all my energy is in me and my kids and your right less focus on him and being short with him is exactly what I am going to start to do. He is a Ahole. Thanks.

[smackie9]

Now that you have two kids already...maybe start thinking about a tubal ligagtion.