Concerned about ex-girlfriend, please help!

[Pirkulese13]

Now, don't get me wrong, I am over her, and have accepted the fact we most likely won't get back together (unless she completely realizes I wasn't a bad guy), but, that doesn't mean I don't have feelings for her, or care for her, because we dated for over two years. Well, I decided I was just going to talk to her yesterday, just to see what was up, and let her know how I am doing, but I found out she is trying to have friends with benefits. Now, I was hurt a little, of course, but not so bad where I begged her not to do that. But she told me she hung out with this guy at a movie, and he wanted to be friends with benefits, too. But, he apparently thought she was a bitch, and they ended up on not being friends with benefits. That being said, she is pursuing one, if not more, friend with benefits. This really concerns me. First, being that it was only a month after the break up (she dumped me), and that she moved on so quickly to having sex with other guys, and secondly, that she is making some bad decisions. I feel like she might hurt herself and what not, and I won't be there to help. So what do you think? Why is she doing this? Why so soon? Why is she desperate to have a friend with benefits? Awesome, thanks.

[smackie9]

You are not part of her life anymore, she can live her life anyways she sees fit. If she wants to explore sexual experiences, without strings attached then so be it. Just because you find it wrong doesn't mean she has to find it wrong. Get what I mean? Your relationship is over, just part ways and focus on healing and finding your own happiness.

She is doing this because she wants to do something different with her life before she meets someone and settles down.

[HeartIsAching]

Now, don't get me wrong, I am over her, and have accepted the fact we most likely won't get back together (unless she completely realizes I wasn't a bad guy), but, that doesn't mean I don't have feelings for her, or care for her, because we dated for over two years. Well, I decided I was just going to talk to her yesterday, just to see what was up, and let her know how I am doing, but I found out she is trying to have friends with benefits. Now, I was hurt a little, of course, but not so bad where I begged her not to do that. But she told me she hung out with this guy at a movie, and he wanted to be friends with benefits, too. But, he apparently thought she was a bitch, and they ended up on not being friends with benefits. That being said, she is pursuing one, if not more, friend with benefits. This really concerns me. First, being that it was only a month after the break up (she dumped me), and that she moved on so quickly to having sex with other guys, and secondly, that she is making some bad decisions. I feel like she might hurt herself and what not, and I won't be there to help. So what do you think? Why is she doing this? Why so soon? Why is she desperate to have a friend with benefits? Awesome, thanks.

I see why she broke up with you... you're still trying to control her.

[Pirkulese13]

I see why she broke up with you... you're still trying to control her.

Ha, funny thing is, I am not. I specifically said "Now, I was hurt a little, of course, but not so bad where I begged her not to do that." I am in no even close to controlling her. I am letting her do what she wants, and expressing concern to other people, not her. Buttttt, nice try

[Caelianix]

Why is it OK for a guy to go out after a break up and hook up with a different girl every night all summer long, but when a girl wants to hook up with a few different guys and use them repeatedly by rotating them (pretty smart there I think, less chance of disease and the hassle of breaking them in or any other stuff like that.) she is then in trouble, or everybody's worried or her, why is she going crazy?

This also depends on her age... if she's 65 it's a little inappropriate. Why is she doing this? Probably because for 2 years she's been oogling other guys and now she has a chance to DO something with them. No offense meant... If she's young, which I get the feeling you both are, then she's climbing up to her peak of sexuality. You're going down. You reached yours buddy, right after high school. She's going to get warmer and hotter and sexier and explore and enjoy and get to know her own body. No offense meant again, but maybe she felt you were holding her back in the bedroom?

Good luck hun.

[Cerby]

If you don't like her decisions, stop contacting her. Sorry bro, once she dumped you, every other guy out there is fair game.

[Boisdevie]

Now, don't get me wrong, I am over her

She's no longer your girlfriend. And obviously you're not over here because you're posting about it here. Whether she's shagging one guy or the entire football team it's no longer any of your business.

[basilandthyme]

This also depends on her age... if she's 65 it's a little inappropriate. .

Strangest thing I've ever read. Why does age make any difference to it being appropriate or not?

[basilandthyme]

I'm not going with 'controlling', but I will go with 'judgemental'.

It's likely that she's over the relationship and has hit the ground running. I've done the same thing before...grieving the relationship while I was still in it and ready to start having fun again once I walked out the door.

At any rate, what she does now is none of your business - so don't cast your judgments on her behaviour.

[HeartIsAching]

Ha, funny thing is, I am not. I specifically said "Now, I was hurt a little, of course, but not so bad where I begged her not to do that." I am in no even close to controlling her. I am letting her do what she wants, and expressing concern to other people, not her. Buttttt, nice try

Yes, you are. Specifically you're indicating that you believe she's incapable of making her own decisions. You don't like the decisions she's making, so you believe they're wrong, and want to correct them. Guess what bub? Her decisions aren't your business.

[Valixy]

You may be right about your her ex doing the wrong move, but she is no the first ex that does that. Many go back to their old ways of being after breaking up or frenetically engage in their new single life in a way that doesn't benefit them. But the thing about the people who behave like this is that they won't listen a word you say and use it against you. You'll just have to try to detach I suppose, let her live her life the way she wants and face the consequences. You need to take care of yourself now, move on the right way and be happy again.This is your main responsibility.

[searock]

What your EX does is none of your concern. Just stop paying attention to what she does. Remove her from your facebook friends, delete her email, the whole thing. Go no contact. Move on. And work on those judgmental issues of yours or you'll find yourself dumped by the next girl, too.