What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

[DannyH]

what concerns me the most is that those dudes get caught..... bonfire some states have cohabitation laws which can still make you lose half your stuff depending on which state your at even if your not married.

[leoben]

I feel the same as you on this as well. When my second to last boyfriend told me I was so unattractive he had to fantasize about other women when we were together, I lost 25 pounds, and now I work out at the gym 15 hours a week. Has it made any noticeable difference in my sex life? No. Although my last boyfriend claimed he was perfectly satisfied with me and wouldn't change a thing about our sex life, he wanted sex much less than me and talked often about strippers, porn stars, and slutty celebrities, as if they were something to be desired and emulated.

You'd think that our efforts would get us somewhere, but apparently not.

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep his hands off you? If you're in the gym 15 hours a week then there are guys who wouldn't touch porn unless you were out of town, nor would they underhandedly suggest you should be something you're not. Why you aren't ending up with them I don't know.

Also, how much sex are you looking for usually?

I have a higher sex drive than all my ex's and my now boyfriend. I want sex all the time. I don't feel the need to watch porn when I'm in a relationship and I don't look at other men in a sexual way. I do masterbate if my bf hasn't touched me in a very very long time like maybe 2-3 weeks.

I understand men are more visual but it doesn't stop it from hurting. I found him masterbating over porn last monday and now I'm too scared to leave him on his own if I catch him doing it again. Or if I am away from him it is constantly in my brain.

I am insecure but dont think I would be if I didnt know what he looked at. I've talked to him about all of this but it probably wont make any difference and I have to except that men are all like this. Well not all but a high percentage are.

I have to go to counselling because what I feel is apparently wrong.

We also dont have sex as much as Id like and it is making my insecurities worse. Ive lost over 30lbs for what? For him just to ignore my needs. I intiate sex but want him to do it like he used to.

What's wrong is him not touching you for that long a time. You have a right to be upset with the porn if he's neglecting you.

[KelE]

I don't care if a guy watches porn if it is not obsessive. I don't really want to know about it and obviously I shouldn't if it is not overboard. I would just want him to keep it in perspective and know that it had nothing to do with our intimate sex life. That's all.

[Katmeow85]

What's wrong is him not touching you for that long a time. You have a right to be upset with the porn if he's neglecting you.

We used to have sex 3 times a day. I know it is unrealistic to expect that now but 3 times a week would be fine with me. Just don't want to be waiting to have sex with him.

He has a bad skin condition which makes him itchey, but when he isnt unwell with this he still only touches me once a week or maybe once in 2 weeks. He also used to have sex with me even if he did feel unwell.

[pisces25]

Katmeow,

I can't be bothered trawling back through the million posts on this topic but have you talked with your partner about this? What does he say?

[Katmeow85]

I have talked to him. He says he wants to touch me but he feels too ill. I have even said when he isnt ill he still doesnt really touch me like he used to. Plus the first few times we had sex which was 3 times in one night he wasn't well at all.

Nothing has really come of it. I don't want to keep bringing it up because then it'd be nagging. Maybe he is just bored of me.

[smackie9]

If you are not happy in your relationship, stop complaining and break up with them......stop dating the wrong guy.

[Katmeow85]

I'm not gonna break with him just because we are going through a rough patch.

Relationships are supposed to be worked on. You dont quit when things get hard.

[smackie9]

It depends on the circumstances........if you are being disrepected, abused, mistreated or taken for granted it's time to leave and stop being someones doormat.

If he is pulling away from you, saying hurtful things, and is repulsed by touching you....he wants you no more.

[Wakeup]

There's like three different Opening Posters in this one thread. Kat the thing is if he's not willing to work with you then you are in a one-sided relationship (also known as co-dependency, which is a type of addiction and not so much love). If he is trying, that is one thing. If he has a put up or shut up attitude then that is quite another.

[VincenzoG91]

I'm not gonna break with him just because we are going through a rough patch.

Relationships are supposed to be worked on. You dont quit when things get hard.

Is he working on the relationship? Or are you doing all the work?

[Katmeow85]

We are both working on it and he isnt repulsed by me. I just feel like he is.

[Wakeup]

Then you need to work more on YOU and likely the relationship harmony will follow. You both seem to have some kind of personal issues You can't accept that his illness is what is causing his lack of libido. If he's ill, why would you put pressure on him to perform and put pressure on yourself by thinking you're ugly or eles he'd want you? Accept the fact that his illness is the cause and not your own perceived lack of beauty.

Wow!

[Katmeow85]

As I said he used to touch me even when he was ill. Obviously now he cant be bothered.

[Katmeow85]

Also i said he hardly touches me when he is well.