BF ego problem after we wrestled

[Mish]

finally i just got exhausted w/it and he begged and begged to come over so we could talk "face to face" and finally i said "Fine but i dont think its going to change anything"...so i was too tired after the conversation to see him then but i said he could come over tmw (he has things at my place he should take anyway)...

i just want to be done w/this already and cant see why he thinks seeing me in person will help, but i do think there's something for breaking up face to face instead of over the phone. I dont know if hes up to something or just desperate.

Jen, it's good thing to break up face to face and give him his stuff back, just don't fall for the oldest trick in the book. I.e. him whining and pleading and whining and pleading and whining and pleading to get back in for things to get back to normal until you take him back. That's the lowest human behaviour, don't accept it. Whinning and pleading over and over again won't change this person. If he had an ounce of respect for you he would've already apologized for his behaviour, if he had an ounce of respect for himself he would accept your break up decision and show signs of trying to move on.

[Junket]

She needs to tell all her friends and family.

All of them.

This way real world people she knows would be telling her to do the same thing we have.

[IndiReloaded]

If you insist on meeting with him, be very careful. I don't trust him to not act violently. He has no self control and a huge ego... that is a bad combination.

Anyway, indi is probably right. They will probably reconcile.

I'm not often wrong, but in this case I would LOVE to be proven so. We'll see.

[Mish]

I want him to act violently so Jen can kick his ass


Again

[gHEXjt]

If you insist on meeting with him, be very careful. I don't trust him to not act violently. He has no self control and a huge ego... that is a bad combination.

Anyway, indi is probably right. They will probably reconcile.

This whole thing is a huge cluster****! And additionally, vashti offers good insight. If you don't reconcile, there appears to be an indication there could be violence. I'd even be concerned about forced sex. A good friend of mine broke up with her long-term boyfriend that sounded a lot like this guy and before he left her place he held her down and threw it at her one last time. I'd be semi-concerned about something like that happening, unless you let him do that as a means for him to convince you to give him another shot...

[EmoBlackBelt]

You should dump him at your judo dojo. That way, he'll be surrounded by lots of people who can kick his ass, instead of just one.

[vashti]

I like the idea of meeting in a public place. It is safer.

However, I suspect the meeting has already occurred. I wonder what happened?

[Kiechi]

He's prob' picking up the rest of his ego off the floor after she dropped him for the 4th time.

[jenster]

I like the idea of meeting in a public place. It is safer.

However, I suspect the meeting has already occurred. I wonder what happened?

Hi everyone. I'm sorry i havent been "in touch" for a while...i've been trying to sort this sorrymess out and have been very distracted.

In talking w/him on the phone I got the sense that maybe Vashti is right--that we should meet in a public place (and i would drop off his things at his place another time when he's not home)...his tone over the past few days has been from angry, upset to paranoid (that i've told people I beat him in wrestling), and we've just been having circular arguments about what happened (his version: we were still wrestling when he pushed me) to mine: (he was so frustrated about losing to me again that he attacked me while I wasnt looking). I wish there had been a referee there so i would have proof i'm right but theres no convincing someone who's so delusional he'll say anything to protect his male ego.

anyway, in the course of all this I blurted out that i'm not the only one who thinks he's acted like a total ass and b4 I could take the words back he flew in to a rage that i had told people about our wrestling contests. Of course I meant HERE at this forum, where his identity is protected and I tried to explain that and he demanded to see what i had written but i refused to tell him anymore (last thing i want is for him to see this thread--even tho' no one knows who he is, he'd still freak out).

anyway, I agreed finally that he could come over IF he promised to calm down and accept that we at LEAST need to 'take a break', as i put it. (This seemed to be the only way to stop his anger/whining, etc.) but despite what some of you believe, i AM going to break up w/him for good when I see him tonight.

My only concern is the possibility that he might try to get physical in his anger one more time. I don't really think he will--his defeat in our last wrestling match was so one-sided and has to be pretty fresh in his mind--and as long as I dont turn my back i should be OK. I think at this point all I would have to do is go into a fighting stance to get him to back off.

[gHEXjt]

If you think he might try to get physical, you'd be best served to have a friend at your apartment with you. Even if they're just hanging out in your room or something (away from the two of you) while you talk to him...

[anachronistic]

If you think he might try to get physical, you'd be best served to have a friend at your apartment with you. Even if they're just hanging out in your room or something (away from the two of you) while you talk to him...

I was going to say the very same thing. Good luck!

[jenster]

If you think he might try to get physical, you'd be best served to have a friend at your apartment with you. Even if they're just hanging out in your room or something (away from the two of you) while you talk to him...

I dont feel like going thru the whole explanation it would take to get one of my friends to come over and be there...plus he wouldnt even talk if someone was there.

Thanks for your concern, really--but I think i'll be OK. I just cant imagine he'd dare to pick a fight w/me again.

[NeoSeminole]

I doubt he will get physical with you. However, if he does, he could hurt you fairly easy if he wanted to. There's a big difference between a wrestling match with rules and a real fight.

[jenster]

I doubt he will get physical with you. However, if he does, he could hurt you fairly easy if he wanted to. There's a big difference between a wrestling match with rules and a real fight.

I guess thats true. Ive never hit anyone in my life or been in an actual fight b4.

I just know that when he tried to take me in wrestling--and he tried HARD-- i whupped his butt pretty good all 3 times...and while judo is mostly a sport, there is a self-defense element also.

[Junket]

I dont feel like going thru the whole explanation it would take to get one of my friends to come over and be there...plus he wouldnt even talk if someone was there.

Thanks for your concern, really--but I think i'll be OK. I just cant imagine he'd dare to pick a fight w/me again.

Let somebody know what's up and check in with them afterwards by phone.