Sticky situation....help!

[Jeblina]

And the plot thickens...

That was EXACTLY my reaction yesterday...LOL

[Lloyd95]

Uh-oh. Well if you scroll back, there are some on here that thought the advice I gave was poor. Let me think of a Plan B; anyone else, feel free to jump in here.

I have to leave in an hour, but will try getting on later, from the car repair shop.

I would say leave it be for today at least. I know you have a babysitter though. Maybe try for Friday.

Let me think here...

[Tone]

LoL like page 2 through 8 is you two just talking back and forth to each other.

This one's all yours, Lloyd!

[Jeblina]

Awww...cmon, I'm open to advice from ANYONE right now...the more opinions the better.

[Jeblina]

Uh-oh. Well if you scroll back, there are some on here that thought the advice I gave was poor. Let me think of a Plan B; anyone else, feel free to jump in here.

I have to leave in an hour, but will try getting on later, from the car repair shop.

I would say leave it be for today at least. I know you have a babysitter though. Maybe try for Friday.

Let me think here...

And yes, I did see that some people on here thought that the dress idea was a little "off"....I actually couldn't find a skirt that fit me....so I wore some nice shorts (not jeans) and a cute tank top and strappy sandals......

I would hate to waste my "babysitting" time and not actually sit down and talk with him tonight....especially on a night when I know he doesn't have his daughter or anything.....Friday is a bad day because he's got his daughter this weekend....

[TAVS]

My advice would be to forget him and move on. If you didn't live in such a great place, I'd say you should come live with me in Colorado. Anyway, I dont think I completely read the entire thread but I dont see what you see in him nonetheless.

[Jeblina]

My advice would be to forget him and move on. If you didn't live in such a great place, I'd say you should come live with me in Colorado. Anyway, I dont think I completely read the entire thread but I dont see what you see in him nonetheless.

Ahhhh...Colorado is BEAUTIFUL....I've looked at real estate out there.....I miss the mountains (I grew up in WA in the foothills of the Cascades)....Florida is too flat......I'd love to have a place out there where I could ride my horse for miles and miles without seeing a single house.

I don't really know what I see in him either really...but it's something.......maybe it's the fact that I feel so comfortable around him because I've known him since high school....maybe I'm having stronger feelings about him because this is my first relationship in 2 years....I don't know....maybe it's because he's so great with my daughter...and I love the way I feel about myself when I'm with him....I don't know...but it's something.....

[Lloyd95]

I think we need to call in Ellynn and/or Shh!. Maybe a girls perspective would be good. I was thinking purely if I were your boyfriend.

It sounded promising at his work; then him telling you he'd meet you, then blowing you off. I don't get it.

Do you think he had to meet with his daughter's mother? Maybe that's why they were talking on the phone? but he would normally be the type that would call you and say, "Listen I have to go see (daughters mother), I can't meet up tonight"

[Jeblina]

I think we need to call in Ellynn and/or Shh!. Maybe a girls perspective would be good. I was thinking purely if I were your boyfriend.

It sounded promising at his work; then him telling you he'd meet you, then blowing you off. I don't get it.

Do you think he had to meet with his daughter's mother? Maybe that's why they were talking on the phone? but he would normally be the type that would call you and say, "Listen I have to go see (daughters mother), I can't meet up tonight"

Yeah...I was feeling REALLY good after going up to his work......but I've gotten kinda used to him not showing up when he says he's going to......it never really used to bother me that much....I'd get my stuff done, and if he wasn't there, then I'd leave.....but lately, I'm starting to feel like a damn doormat.....like he takes it for granted that he can blow me off and not call me, and then I'll still be there the next day. I've told him before that he can't do that to me...he says that he does it to all his friends, and I told him," I'm not one of your friends....I deserve a LITTLE more effort....take 2 mins to call me and tell me you're not coming so I don't WAIT!". That's all I ask...I wouldn't have been pissed last night if he had just called me and said that something came up.....but blah......I'm just mad about it. I'm going through phases where I want to be a complete bit.ch to him, and then I want to be nice and sit down and figure it out, and phases where I want to trap him by asking him if he can get some weed for me or something, JUST to see what he says about it...LOL

[carpflounder]

This is really perplexing. One of the reasons you say you like him is because he gets along well with your daughter. Then you say that you dont want your daughter getting attached to someone who uses marijuana.

So which is it?

If you want to try something that may work...try the truth. Let him now that you judged him, that you are sorry now, and that you want him back. If your not sorry, he probably is going to continue ignoring you.....just like I told you before.

[Jeblina]

This is really perplexing. One of the reasons you say you like him is because he gets along well with your daughter. Then you say that you dont want your daughter getting attached to someone who uses marijuana.

So which is it?

If you want to try something that may work...try the truth. Let him now that you judged him, that you are sorry now, and that you want him back. If your not sorry, he probably is going to continue ignoring you.....just like I told you before.

Yes, he IS great with my daughter.....and yes, that's true that I don't want my daughter attached to a pothead.....but the fact is, I'm not SURE that he actually IS a stoner.....that's why I posted this thread....because I really want to know the best way to sit down and talk to him....hopefully without him getting all defensive and stupid again.

[TAVS]

You've known him since high school and you dont know if he's a stoner or not??

[Lloyd95]

Well if he doesn't show up or even call, that's not just treating you like a doormat, it's down right impolite and rude.

Carp, I think she was being honest this whole time.

But Carp does make a good point: don't "love" him or stay with him just bc he's good to your daughter. Any bf you have, if he's worth anything, will love your daughter as well as you, b/c he will know how much she means to you. Yes, it's a package deal, but one with tremendous upside. And your current bf (having a daughter of his own), or any guy with kids will realize that.

[Lloyd95]

don't trap him with games and trickery; if he finds out, he will be rightfully pissed.

[Jeblina]

You've known him since high school and you dont know if he's a stoner or not??

I was best friends with him in highschool, back when he was a stoner (so was I)....then I graduated, and he was dating my other best friend, and we fell out of touch.....fast forward 3 years...I go up to the feed store and there he is! SO I know nothing of his history, from the time during high school, until about 5 months ago, when he and started hanging out again.