How did this happen ???

[IWS2013]

OK. I liked what you said; "In a weird way, she might be using it to keep communication open with you, which in a sense makes her feel closer to you this way, then not talking at all". But with that, you also said, "It's not as big a deal as she is making it to be"....so let her lose her communication line over this big deal she is making.

[toknow]

OK. I liked what you said; "In a weird way, she might be using it to keep communication open with you, which in a sense makes her feel closer to you this way, then not talking at all". But with that, you also said, "It's not as big a deal as she is making it to be"....so let her lose her communication line over this big deal she is making.

I meant the issue she has with you telling her family what you did, isn't as big a deal as she makes it to be. The reason for her doing that could be any number of things, including to keep communication open with you.

[IWS2013]

I know...sorry....I like both statements.
I just hate when she said BS....I have the mail here from her Bro in law after our convo by phone. But I guess she will see for herself that I spoke to him by phone and realize I wasn't BS-ing. I think he sent a mail to his wife (her sister) and that is the mail that was read word for word.

[toknow]

I know...sorry....I like both statements.
I just hate when she said BS....I have the mail here from her Bro in law after our convo by phone. But I guess she will see for herself that I spoke to him by phone and realize I wasn't BS-ing. I think he sent a mail to his wife (her sister) and that is the mail that was read word for word.

I think at the moment, it would have a better effect if she finds out your innocence from someone else.

[IWS2013]

Solid...I am with that sentiment !

[IWS2013]

Wait.....I didn't E-mail her and she mailed me again:


"Just so you know.....you and I will never have a relationship ever again. By involving my family, all the bad came out. I never spoke an ill word about you until all of this. But once the box was opened....now they know the truth about you and everything else that occurred between us.
I told you many times, I've learned from my past mistakes. Once you involve family with your "dirty laundry", there's no turning back.
So I guess congrats are in your honor. You ruined an amazing relationship with your egotism. I hope your happy because the love that I once had for you is now consumed with anger!!

Don't worry, I am finally DONE with my venting!!! Have a nice life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


What is your take on this????

[toknow]

Ok....I think she is bluffing. Note how many times before she said she was done with you. I really don't think she is done with you.
When one repeats something over and over in a situation like this, a lot of times it shows they aren't certain in what they are saying - whether consciously or subconsciously.

BUT, I think you mustn't say a word back now. Just stay quiet. Let her feel like the bad guy and come to realize she is exaggerating it.

Again, even if you were to do some good now, it would not have the same effect because she is still in this mode. But, again you have to follow your heart so you don't regret doing whatever it is you decide to do.

[IWS2013]

Yes, you are right !!
I will let it go silent now with her. I did before and she came back with more. I feel bad she's upset, but like you said, let her realize she went overboard.

Thanks !

[toknow]

I think if you don't respond, it will not give her closure. She obviously said what she said to get a reaction, she didn't just write it for no reason, so when you don't respond, she feels unfulfilled. She should be back for more.

You could have done something else, but it's a quite risky, so I wouldn't suggest doing it at this time. You could message her that you still love her, and that's all, without any details, just that. But, again it's very risky, so I wouldn't suggest doing it.

[IWS2013]

The Big Question is: Do you think she wants closure to be done with me or done with this particular argument?

[toknow]

Well, I think she wanted to at the most to make you feel like the bad guy so it would be easier for her to make you feel like she has a good reason to let you go. In essence making you feel like you messed it up, so that you will regret it and want her back.

But with you not responding she isn't getting a confirmation of the above. Meaning she isn't getting the closure she needs to feel like the ball is in her court.

[IWS2013]

OK......so the reverse effect can really happen to her, I guess?

[toknow]

I think she realizes she is doing all the chasing and it's not good for her ego, so she is using this as a disguise to save face so to speak. But, believe it or not this might be a good thing, because you probably wouldn't want her to feel completely vulnerable, or she might make mistakes out of pride and those are some of the biggest.

[IWS2013]

So instead of making me regret it and want her back, maybe she will regret this and want me back?

[toknow]

Yes, that's the idea behind not letting her make you out to be the bad guy by responding negatively to her provocation.