good idea or bad idea...send girl food @ work

[vashti]

Well, it sounds like you have your mind made up. I wish you well. You are one of the more original guys who have posted here, and I am sure this will work in your favor with this woman. Good luck.

[Tired]

Well, it sounds like you have your mind made up. I wish you well. You are one of the more original guys who have posted here, and I am sure this will work in your favor with this woman. Good luck.

thanks, and i hope it works in my favor too

the toughest thing I'm gonna have a problem with is being patient. I know I'm gonna have to give her some time, and if she is willing but skeptical because of the distance and age, it'll require even more patience....but I'm willing to take it slow, just wish it was moving faster and we were already spending more time together.

[Tired]

just an update...not much of an update really....but I've been sick as hell (food poisoning) and had a funeral on monday so I haven't been to work. I did go Tuesday for about an hour and saw her, we just talked about her family spending spring break here and she asked me how I had been, told her i had got the food poisoning.

Went to the doctor and i'm out of work till atleast Friday.

First time i've been sick in like 10 years.

[Tired]

Haven't seen her since last Tuesday! &#&#^@(!

something important came up tho....she was asking about me, if i was alright and if i was back yet, etc...

and a buddy of mine started asking her about dating younger guys once she brought me up. She said she had dated some guy for 3 years and he cheated on her....this was a while back but some significant info that she never told me.

She then said she thinks a younger guy would eventually wanna run of with a younger girl.

So my gut feeling when she backed out was she got scared because of something that happened in her past and apparently i was right. She's worried I'd cheat on her it seems.

I've given her no reason not to trust me but i can understand her being skeptical in the situation. Honest to god, I'm no cheater...i know a lot of people will probably say that but I'm really not.

Hopefully I see her tonight and i'll just bring it up....if she is concerned about trusting me, if she thinks because I'm younger i'd be harder to trust, I'll ask her point blank if shes concerned about me eventually running off with someone younger.

I know she likes me but she's scared...I'm just hoping i can convince her to take a risk with me...I can't prove to her that I won't cheat unless she'll give me a chance.

[Gigabitch]

Hmmm. I wouldn't actually bring up the word "younger" unless she does. You want to make her feel safer about you, not more threatened, and bringing it up will only show her that the thought crossed your mind in the first place.

I advise you not to mention the age difference unless you're asking her if your maturity or experience is a problem. Don't even open the "you could be too old for me" door.

[Tired]

Hmmm. I wouldn't actually bring up the word "younger" unless she does. You want to make her feel safer about you, not more threatened, and bringing it up will only show her that the thought crossed your mind in the first place.

I advise you not to mention the age difference unless you're asking her if your maturity or experience is a problem. Don't even open the "you could be too old for me" door.

shes the one that brought it up over time...when she backed out on me her excuse was "i'm uncomfortable about the age difference but i'll think about it"

so i backed off a little bit for a while, and then i found out she got cheated on.

I've told her numerous times I've grown to like her for who she is and the age difference isn't an issue for me. I don't want her to feel threatened but it seems like the age/trust/letting someone new into her life is whats standing in between us having a great thing.

[Gigabitch]

I stand by what I said. I'm an old broad, too, so I know what I'm talking about. Don't even mention the concept of leaving her for someone younger, even if it's only to tell her it would never happen.

Trust me on this.

[Tired]

I stand by what I said. I'm an old broad, too, so I know what I'm talking about. Don't even mention the concept of leaving her for someone younger, even if it's only to tell her it would never happen.

Trust me on this.

Even though she brought it up?

I feel like this is an important topic that NEEDS to be discussed and needs to be in the open....what would you expect me to say?

It seems clear that this is what she was nervous/scared about.

[Gigabitch]

You can obliquely refer to the age difference, putting it forward as "You think I might be too young for you" instead of "You might think you're too old for me".

This is a delicate issue, and those two statements are VERY different. If she brings up the concept of you running off with a younger woman you just reply that she's what you want. Period.

[Tired]

well i have been treading carefully around that, lol.....I've always referred to me being young opposed to her being old.

I'm just ready for this to be taken care of, I've been so patient, more patient then ever. I've never put this much effort into getting a girl, EVER.

[vashti]

Tired, I like you. I wish you would find someone closer to your age to be interested in. I genuinely don't think you have considered (or perhaps fully comprehend) all that you may be sacrificing to get together with this woman. The age difference is very significant at this stage of your life. She is just about too old to be having any children. Do you not envision yourself with a family one day? Also, I think you should have a look at the average man who is 50, and the average woman who is 65, and notice their health issues. (Not the ones who are in exceptionally good health, because they are the exception.) Right now, she is still healthy, but you need to understand what this age difference means later on.

I am afraid you will win her heart.

[box_of_donuts]

Sending a pizza is a neat idea( if she does not think you are weird or a creep)..I would consider dropping off silverware and a candle (beforehand) to the pizza place to send along with the pizza.

[Tired]

Tired, I like you. I wish you would find someone closer to your age to be interested in. I genuinely don't think you have considered (or perhaps fully comprehend) all that you may be sacrificing to get together with this woman. The age difference is very significant at this stage of your life. She is just about too old to be having any children. Do you not envision yourself with a family one day? Also, I think you should have a look at the average man who is 50, and the average woman who is 65, and notice their health issues. (Not the ones who are in exceptionally good health, because they are the exception.) Right now, she is still healthy, but you need to understand what this age difference means later on.

I am afraid you will win her heart.

I don't think I would choose to have children, my heart definetly isn't set on it. I wouldn't feel incomplete if I never had a kid. I'm not dead set AGAINST it, but it would probably take my SO convincing me for it to happen.

This may sound selfish but I see people I work with who have kids and they are working 2 or 3 jobs basically around the clock so they can support their kids. They have no life, they don't even see their kids its just work work work. I don't want that to be me.

Both her and I are very active, physically fit...I'm a gym rat, shes more into the endurance training (swimming/long distance running)...but despite that neither of us are guaranteed old age. I could be in a fatal car crash tonight just as easy as anyone else.

I don't know it all, and don't wanna come across like I do but I'm aware we're at different stages, I'm aware its taboo, but I'm honestly not like your average 23 year old and I really don't look at her like a typical 38 year old. It just seems like a good fit.

I thought my parents would freak out when I told them I was about to be dating a 38 year old (or so i thought at the time )...their jaws dropped a little bit but they didn't freak out, and they bad mouth age gap relationships as bad as anyone you'd ever meet. They just know how I am I guess

[vashti]

neither of us are guaranteed old age. I could be in a fatal car crash tonight just as easy as anyone else.

I work in a hospital, and trust me when I say that a fatal car crash is preferable to most of what I see happening to the elderly, and especially the effects aging has on their families. I'm not worried about one of you dying in a car crash; I'm worried about you having to face the effects of her aging before you should have to.

I believe you aren't the average 23 year old; you lack the superficiality that might have prevented you from falling into this situation to begin with.