Will we ever get engaged?

[Roses919191]

So HOW do I convinece him that I've truly learned my lesson, I'll shut up forever about marriage & bring him no more drama & he can have all his space and doesn't need to make any actual commitment to me? Because then he will love me!'n

[Wakeup]

So HOW do I convinece him that I've truly learned my lesson, I'll shut up forever about marriage & bring him no more drama & he can have all his space and doesn't need to make any actual commitment to me? Because then he will love me!'n

Ya, do that and when he marries the woman that his parents have chosen for him in five or so years, come back here and there will be lots of people that will empathise you through your pain.

[Roses919191]

How do I prove I will give him some space as he keeps saying he wants

[Roses919191]

He says he needs 2 weeks of space... As he frantically works on deadlines for work which I know he's gotten behind on. SO does that mean I basically ignore him for 2 weeks & then when I come back to him he will be happy to see me again? If he didn't still love me, he'd be kicking me out or not saying "2 weeks" of space but rather indefinitely

[basilandthyme]

He says he needs 2 weeks of space... As he frantically works on deadlines for work which I know he's gotten behind on. SO does that mean I basically ignore him for 2 weeks & then when I come back to him he will be happy to see me again? If he didn't still love me, he'd be kicking me out or not saying "2 weeks" of space but rather indefinitely

If he loved you he wouldn't need two weeks of space from you. But in answer to your question - ignore him for two weeks and when he comes back, he will continue as things are currently.

Your argument that he'd end things if he didn't love you is flawed: Many people don't break up with people they don't love. They are either too lazy to do so or simply enjoy the convenience.

[Roses919191]

I think if he moved in with me before he was ready, and feels he needs to back off and focus on work, then yes 2 weeks makes sense. He keeps saying "you said you were going to give me space & respect my need to work but you aren't!" So is it possible if I really do it this time, he'll miss me and want me back?

[basilandthyme]

I think if he moved in with me before he was ready, and feels he needs to back off and focus on work, then yes 2 weeks makes sense. He keeps saying "you said you were going to give me space & respect my need to work but you aren't!" So is it possible if I really do it this time, he'll miss me and want me back?

Is it possible that he'll miss you and want you back? Sure it's possible. It's also possible that he'll enjoy the time without you and want more time without you.

You are keen for a guy who doesn't want to settle down and you've got one. Your current dilemma is simply the result of being with the kind of man you desire. Suck it up babe.

[Roses919191]

I'll show him that we can be under the same roof, but his work productivity won't suffer & he can still have space. Every day when he gets home I'll say "hi. I'm respecting your need for space and to get work done, but I just wanted to tell you I miss (whatever) and I love you"

[basilandthyme]

Every day when he gets home I'll say "hi. I'm respecting your need for space and to get work done, but I just wanted to tell you I miss (whatever) and I love you"

bahaha - talk about needy! Are you deliberately trying to guilt trip him?

Just move out for two weeks and don't contact him at all.

[Roses919191]

But he did not ask or imply that I should move out, for any length of time, even though Only his name is On lease so he could do whatever the hell he wants. He just keeps talking about "you said yoyd respect my space that I need to get work done while I'm at home, yet you just keep coming up to me again" which is why I think all he wants is for me to prove I'm capable of respecting space and boundaries

[basilandthyme]

Well fine. Stay there. But don't put all this "I love you and miss you" shit on him.

[Roses919191]

Doesn't it make sense that if he wanted me gone he'd kick me out, stArt packing my stuff up, tell at least his close friends, not just say all he wants is for me to finally respect his space to get his projects done for a while?

[basilandthyme]

Doesn't it make sense that if he wanted me gone he'd kick me out, stArt packing my stuff up, tell at least his close friends, not just say all he wants is for me to finally respect his space to get his projects done for a while?

I've seen plenty of guys living with girls they have no intention of marrying. I know one guy who did it for 10 years before they finally ended it and he married someone else.

Him wanting you out of his face for a bit only shows that he needs space from you. It's a negative sign, not a positive.

I'm sure he doesn't want you gone - but this doesn't mean that he wants to marry you in the long term.

[Roses919191]

Him wanting you out of his face for a bit only shows that he needs space from you. It's a negative sign, not a positive.

He's been like this the whole relationship. He can go days with only a text or two from me, and he thinks that's fine. He is always 100% focused on his work, he says "this is what brought me to this country and it's [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1]#1[/URL] priority over you." But I get annoyed when he can't even drop work for 10 minutes to come lay in bed or cuddle me as I fall asleep. The question here is just how to get a super-independent man to love me again. I think respecting his wishes and ignoring him for the most part should do the trick?

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If he says, "You said you're going to respect my space & the fact that I need to get lots of work done, but you still aren't," and then when I ask "well when can we talk/hang out?!" and he says "in 2 weeks"... But he never asked me to move out and isn't un-inviting me to this wedding with his buddies next month... Does that mean if I just keep calm and stop bugging him with any drama, he'll eventually love me soon???

[fearoflove]

He's been like this the whole relationship. He can go days with only a text or two from me, and he thinks that's fine. He is always 100% focused on his work, he says "this is what brought me to this country and it's [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1]#1[/URL] priority over you." But I get annoyed when he can't even drop work for 10 minutes to come lay in bed or cuddle me as I fall asleep. The question here is just how to get a super-independent man to love me again. I think respecting his wishes and ignoring him for the most part should do the trick?

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If he says, "You said you're going to respect my space & the fact that I need to get lots of work done, but you still aren't," and then when I ask "well when can we talk/hang out?!" and he says "in 2 weeks"... But he never asked me to move out and isn't un-inviting me to this wedding with his buddies next month... Does that mean if I just keep calm and stop bugging him with any drama, he'll eventually love me soon???

OMG! Don't be so needy. He isn't super-independent. He just isn't that into you/in love. Moving in with him before marriage was a wrong move. It is giving him too much of you too soon. He should have known that to get that close to you, he needs to marry you first. At this point, getting married doesn't provide him with any further benefits. He already have you living with him, having sex with him on a regular basis, and your commitment. He is only thinking about being tied down. You being passive/emotionally weak isn't helping you.

Your needs and wants keep on getting pushed to the side in favour for his. It is getting to the point where you are losing dignity. If marriage is an important thing to you, you stick by that. Don't back down on it because it is just making you look weak.

I suggest you move out, tell him that you want to go out there to search for what you want (a man who is ready for commitment) and wish him the best. That's it. Don't be afraid. You can live without him. There are better men out there.

So many men nowadays don't behave properly because so many women allow men to act like that. Men have to learn that in order for them to get women, they have to work for it and be a better man.