Lets get married.

[Mish]

Well why do you assume that? Huh? If all this girl is worrying about is a stupid ring like you say, she can't be all that susceptible to poverty.

Because of large amount of evidence which exists that shows that single mother households are more at risk of living below the poverty line than households with two parents living under one roof. There is also evidence which exists that shows single mothers have less resources, less time and are less capable to provide for their children's needs than two parent households.

You will find evidence for that in lots of different places

[url]http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/portrait.htm[/url]

[url]http://gregmankiw.blogspot.com/2006/05/poverty-and-single-mothers.html[/url]

[url]http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/fm1/fm31/fm31rw.html[/url]

Edit - Statistics on poverty - [url]http://www.pbs.org/peoplelikeus/resources/stats.html[/url]

[Mish]

She's no doubt young, exhausted, and trying to look after a young baby. All the while worrying about their longterm security and fighting with her baby's daddy about it. And that's just the parenting issues, not mentioning having to control her personal insecurities and feelings of being 'not wanted' by this guy.

Its easy to not have any of these responsibilities, Mish, and claim that someone should be completely rational about things. But, again, that damn REALITY makes it very difficult. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, but I have met very few ppl in my life, anywhere, who are actually able to practice what they preach in this regard.

I'm sure Ladi *knows* she is freaked out and probably not thinking straight about this. In fact, that's why she posted here. I agree with you, its very silly of anyone to be TELLING her what to do, whose advice to listen to, etc. This primarily turns my stomach b/c noone here on this forum will have to live with the actual CONSEQUENCES of her decision.

So. Best you can do is lay out the options for her, try to make sure she is seeing things how they probably are, and then ask her to THINK about things before making her decision.

I agree, it must be very difficult for her.

I hope what I posted opened up her eyes to the depth of the consequences of her decision. Perhaps I could've done it more effectively.

[IndiReloaded]

I know a few personally dissatified moms who stay married 'for the kids'. But, objectively, their lives are really quite good and their husbands are decent, if not perfect. Shrug.

I also know a few single moms. They are all struggling, and I wouldn't want their lives for a single moment. Someneeded to be this way b/c of abusive partners and such. So, while its hard, I think they made the right choice for their kids.

But I know a couple gals who chose to split more for personal reasons and less for their 'family'. Now, both those gals AND their kids are miserable. Its very sad.

[Only-virgins]

Sorry, you are wrong OV. Marriage was around a LONG time before the Church was invented.

It wasn't in the way we view it today till the church.

But I know a couple gals who chose to split more for personal reasons and less for their 'family'. Now, both those gals AND their kids are miserable. Its very sad.

Maybe true with the kids being sad, but I wouldn't stay with and forgive a cheater even once even if I had 12 kids.

[vashti]

It wasn't in the way we view it today till the church.

The way marriage is viewed today is typically with cynicism. You blame the church for that? Why?