Frustrating Love - Bound by a Promise.

[IndiReloaded]

I wrote a letter to her today after she had emailed me that read:

" Your counselor's demand is the right thing even though I wish it didn't have to come to that.
It just seems like you've been trying to help him and the marriage out for the past three years
spending so much time and energy.

But I understand, I don't want you feeling bad about yourself.

I'm not gonna lie, it hurts... it hurts so bad thinking that I can't talk to you or see you but
I understand its just something that's really going to bother you. But before I say what I really don't
want to say I just need to tell you this:

I love your kindness, the way you look at me, your beautiful smile, your keen intelligence and how
you pick your words. When i'm around you I feel fantastic and wonderful... inspired. You're fun, thoughtful,
passionate and sexy. You're the kind of dedicated, bright and beautiful woman I've always wanted in my
life. Sharing life with you is a blessing I want to have forever.

But I knew deep down it would come to this. I knew that I could not compete with your marriage to
him for the past five years. Nor did I ever think I could. I do want you all to myself but I will not make
you choose on Friday, nor will I force you to confront your husband on whether or not I stay here.

I love you too much to do that. I don't have the heart to allow you to have to make such a difficult choice.

You mean everything to me, so do not think there will ever be a time that I'm not thinking of you. So with
this, and what is possibly my last letter I'm going to say...

I will always be an email or a phone call away and I will always be here if you need me. Please take care
of yourself and do what you need to do.

I love you and just want you to be happy and happy with yourself, but I will miss you beyond what words
can describe. Please do not worry about me. Just take care of yourself, take
your vitamins and stay your awesome self.

With Love, Sincerely Yours...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"



This is by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I just hope she finds the answers she's looking for.

You sent this?? That has got to be one of the most emotionally manipulative letters I have ever read. What a selfish prick you are.

[HeartIsAching]

You sent this?? That has got to be one of the most emotionally manipulative letters I have ever read. What a selfish prick you are.

It did contain a lot of language that could/should have been avoided...

But he did do what he needed to do - he cut ties. I think we should recognize that. That is so hard with a person you love so much. The pain of it gets to be so great that you stop feeling anything at all to avoid it.

[Blueeyes79]

You sent this?? That has got to be one of the most emotionally manipulative letters I have ever read. What a selfish prick you are.

You sent this?? That has got to be one of the most emotionally manipulative letters I have ever read. What a selfish prick you are.

What the hell. Am I not allowed to say what's on my mind if its going to be the last thing I'm going to say to her for awhile if not forever?

That is how I f***ing feel. We have always been truthful with each other and i never meant to come off as being selfish. If that really is going to be last the time I'm writing to her than I'm going to tell her exactly whats on my mind. I'm sorry if you think i'm being selfish prick by doing so. My grandma told me a long time ago that always be truthful and tell someone exactly how you feel because you don't know if you'll be able to tomorrow. I'm passionate maybe to a fault. But go to hell for belittling me. I do what I believe is right by telling her the truth about my thoughts.

Do you honestly f***ing think I was trying to make her feel bad or whatever? Nevermind, don't answer that. It just sucks that society looks down and wants to misinterpet someone who's wears their heart on their sleeve. It was f***ing hard enough as it was just writing it.

This is what I get for posting it here. I should've known better.

[Blueeyes79]

It did contain a lot of language that could/should have been avoided...

But he did do what he needed to do - he cut ties. I think we should recognize that. That is so hard with a person you love so much. The pain of it gets to be so great that you stop feeling anything at all to avoid it.

I don't understand what i was supposed avoid saying? Why I was doing what I was doing, or how I felt while typing it? Maybe I am a selfish prick but I'll be damned it I can't be truthful about what I'm thinking. If she wants to view me as a selfish manipulative prick than I can't stop her but I'm not going to hide what I think. The only way she can make a real choice is by knowing the whole truth not from me holding back.

[Blueeyes79]

I really didn't mean for it to come off like that and I hope she doesn't think that either. I just don't know how to hold back. I give everything my all.

[IndiReloaded]

Writing it to get your feelings out is one thing... sending it is another.

Are you serious, you can't imagine how receiving your letter will make her feel? Its designed to manipulate, whether you consciously know this or not. It basically screams "don't forget me", when that's exactly what she needs to do if she is serious about working on her marriage. Otherwise, you are helping her keep one foot out the door and that's not a true committed effort.