bodies

[Michael6084]

I guess I am not really understanding the hostility about someone being curious about your ethnicity... Why is the question so offensive? Why don't you just say "half-hungarian, half-filipino"?

because most of the time, they try to guess instead of simply asking. instead of saying "what's your ethnic background?" and letting me answer, they'll usually try to guess and about 90% of the time, they're wrong. so it'll be like "what's your ethnic background? vietnamese? korean? hawaiian? mexican?" and that pisses me off because i don't look like either, but people are ignorant, especially in the U.S. when it comes to telling the difference of ethnicities of not only asians, but of europeans.

and to me, i also find it offensive because living in this country, i dont consider myself a certain ethnic background. i eat and breathe in the same environments as white or black people. i don't see myself as a filipino or hungarian, and though i do recognize those as my ethnic backgrounds, that doesn't mean i live my life with it. i guess people have this tendency to think that because i appear to be filipino or whatever, they think i eat ethnic food from the philippines or know the language and shit, and i hate to be singled out like that because i live just like any other person.

but i guess for me it's a personal quirk. i want ppl to see me for me, not see me for being a certain thing.

[Gribble]

I kind of agree with you, Mike. I'm an American. I was born in America. I was raised in America. I'm not Latin American. I'm not hispanic. I'm not Italian or Greek. I'm goddamn American.

My grandmother, she's from Cuba. And my great grandfather, he came from Spain. I'm not ashamed of it. But neither am I willing to to allow anyone to pigeonhole me into something that I'm not. You drop me off in the middle of Cuba and I'd be every bit as lost as the guy whose ancestors came from Britain.

[Tedel]

What about saying... "Ethnical background?" "Many."?

I mean, like you, I'm a mix of various races. I have black traits, Andean traits, white traits and if that weren't enough, also Chinese traits. I am a cocktail!

Whatever, one of the things I liked most about the research of the human genome was just the one concerning to race. The biological difference between the blackest of men and the whitest of them is just 0.09%. Tell me if this isn't just wonderful...

[vashti]

Just about everyone in California is a "cocktail". I guess that is why I can't relate to being so defensive about it. I don't consider being multi-ethnic anything extraordinary, but rather an insignificant detail people discuss to make polite conversation. Maybe things are different in Virginia.

[Michael6084]

Just about everyone in California is a "cocktail". I guess that is why I can't relate to being so defensive about it. I don't consider being multi-ethnic anything extraordinary, but rather an insignificant detail people discuss to make polite conversation. Maybe things are different in Virginia.

aside from the area around DC in VA, the state is either white or black, so when they see someone like me, they react to it like "woah."

btw, what does "cocktail" mean? we dont have that as slang here.

[Junket]

cocktail = mixture

[alidile]

I guess I am not really understanding the hostility about someone being curious about your ethnicity... Why is the question so offensive? Why don't you just say "half-hungarian, half-filipino"?

it's the idea that then people want you to choose or make some assumption about you... i'm half black half white and it's like you can't live up to some "standard" for either or you are not enough of one or the other and if you don't say you're more black then you are not w/ your race and if you don't say you're more white same deal. it is jsut a very political silly argument that i'd rather avoid because i don't think it matters and one shouldn't have to choose beacuse people are just people.

[Junket]

it's the idea that then people want you to choose or make some assumption about you...

I feel yer pain, dude.

[vashti]

As I said before, this isn't really an issue where I live. There are lots of mixed people here. Maybe you guys should move someplace more progressive?

[TheLoveIsGone]

Well.. I read your post 3 times.. At first, I was under the impression that you had scars from surgery, but that's not the case.. Instead you simply have stretch marks from weight loss..

To be honest with you, men are very simple sexual creatures.. remember, men don't think like women.. What do I mean by that??

Well, the reason this is bothering you is because you know that if you are having sex with someone, and you see something that is slightly "off" visually.. (like yellow toe nails, uncliped nails, hair in the wrong places, etc).. then it will kill your mood significantly and take away from the experience.. Not the case with guys.. (but seriously, still take care of your nails & wax)..

If you look great in cloths, and things start getting hot & heavy.. chances are, when he's turned on and aroused.. it would take an alien invasion to put him out of the mood.. that being said.. once he's in the mood, your clothes will start to come off.. and in his male mind.. you'll go from (wow, she looks so hot.. to OMG she looks so hot & she's taking her clothes off).. that's it.. because the male brain is generally so primative.. (and this is comming from a guy).. it generally won't process the situation and further.. (remember, the male is very practical.. it's built to get aroused, and quickly reproduce.. no if's and's or but's)..

Personal Experience: My current girlfriend has stretchmarks.. Her epilepsy medication in High School made her gain weight.. after brain-surgery & new medication, she lost over 40lbs! That caused stretch marks all over her waist & butt & thighs.. But for 2.5 years.. that hasn't stopped me.. I mean.. honestly.. It starts off with what she's wearing.. then.. with what she's wearing under that.. and if u have hot/sexy undies under your hot/sexy clothes.. then the rest is history.. seriously.. (minor variations in skin texture and smoothness will not even ruin the moment slightly for a guy).. In fact if you asked me to "instantly improve my gf physically".. removal of her stretch marks would not even be on my list..

Sex Tip for Women: most of the mood (sexual) is built up way before any clothes come off.. But what clothes you wear have a HUGE impact on how much your male partner enjoys sex, when the clothes are off.. So, like a cheezy viagra/cialis ad "when the moment is right.."... make sure you're wearing both sexy/hot clothes, and underwear.. it'll go a long way... even if he doesn't thank you.. verbally anyway..

this is fantastic !!!!

Can anyone help me with my problem : I am 24 and my boyfriend is 20 , we are dating 2 months and still haven't have sex. We haven't see each other a month and now we want to go together to the sea-side. My problem is this - i have a small saggy boobs , little extra skin on belly with strechmarks , and scars from the surgery. A year ago i had 100 kg !!!!! Now i have 68 kg and everything is good except those things i mentioned. I have pretty face and i am cheerful and smart girl , but somehow i just can't get over the fact that i look the way i look when i am naked. I am sooooooo worried about his reaction , especially cuz he is still at very young age. We have great time together , and we are in love with each other , but for guys (especially in their early twenties) this physical moment is very important. I am depressed , i just won't survive if he reject me (in the past , when i was fat , i got lot of rejection , so i am quite sensible to this thing). ((( Should i break up with him ? Don't know what to do HEEEEEEELP

[TheLoveIsGone]

i am sorry for mistakes in the language , i am Russian