good night my love sweet dreams and sleep tight ok love you always........
good night my love sweet dreams and sleep tight ok love you always........
One day soon, I will be everything you want me to be. I will be successful or working towards it, and I will be happy. I will be in a much better station in life and can allow myself to be laid back and without stress. I will be done with school and have every free second away from work to spend looking into your lovely eyes. I will always make you feel as you come first and you will see no disparity between my love for you, my love for my daughter, or my love for your son. I will value and honor our free time together and never hurt you by suggesting other plans on short notice. I will help bring Christ to your heart so you may live forever through him and forever with me. Through His protection, I will not fear any loss of love or abandonment from you and will truly be able to give my whole heart to you. I will love the people you love, and I will love the things that you love. I will never disrespect you over your opinions but may challenge your thoughts because I do love you. I will never leave you. I will never cheat on you. I will leave you no question to my love and affection for you. You are the only woman I want and will never again give you any doubt or reason to be jealous. I will keep you guessing with spontaneity in my gestures of love for you, never allowing you to get bored in our relationship. I will constantly remind you how sexy, beautiful, and smart you are. I will fulfill your every romantic wish, every fantasy, and every sexual desire that you will ever have. I will fight for you for the rest of my life and never let go. I will protect you and defend you.
Yes we will have differences and disagreements but we will always rise above any conflict that gets thrown our way. No obstacle will stand a chance against our love for each other and I’ll be positive of that if you return. If I get another chance to love you I swear I will love you right. I will never say a word about anything you smoke (provided it’s not hard drugs) drink, or eat and I won’t give you looks of disapproval. I will never make you feel judged. I will validate your opinions or I will seek to find out why you hold them without disregard. I will seek your council and welcome your advice always.
I want to tell you how happy I am that you saw something in me that no one else ever had. Thank you for your love in me. It’s all I had ever asked God for. I felt truly chosen by you when you were with me and I thank you for that. Thank you for showing me how to love and how to be in a proper relationship. I will learn and grow from our experiences and one day, I will be able to sustain another even healthier relationship because of those experiences.I pray to the Lord that it with you that I may share the "best" of me.
I pray that you find happiness,even if I am not the one to deliver it to you. If you want a partner through life that will vow to give you everything that I mentioned above then please come back and find me. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and for you there is no replacement.
If I never see or hear from you again, I will regret the way things turned out and if I could have done it better for you I would have. One day if we get another shot at our love I swear to you that I will complete your being with every value I offer.
You don't see it still. I wish you'd be honest with yourself and you say that you're working on it. Well I'm over you working on it...I'm ready for you to make a god damn decsion. For the love ...... you are a grown ass man make up your mind and either win me back or let me free. Instead I'm still sitting here hoping for something to work out. You are so f***ing frustrating.
You know what... you and me had a really great time together. I wouldn't trade it for anything or wish I had spent it with somebody else.
But the more time passes, the more I realize that my feeling unappreciated for months before you broke up with me didn't come out of nowhere. I just kept rationalizing it away. But the truth is that you simply don't deserve me anymore. If you can trade a mature, loving relationship with somebody who absolutely adored and understood you, for a summer of meaningless fun with random girls, then you simply do not deserve me and all I have to offer.
I don't know if that realization makes me sad and lights up some hidden glimmer of hope that you will grow up soon and then maybe we will be on the same level, or or if it makes me feel at peace with the fact that you're definitely in the past now. I guess paradoxically it's a bit of both.
Last edited by Layna; 04-07-11 at 07:11 AM.
I miss you so much. Every breath without you is only half a breath to take. Another tomorrow will turn to yesterday and you'll still be gone.
Well, Here i am, To believe 4 weeks ago we had everything, We had the most amazing relationship that i could have ever imagined for. I was in love with the most beautiful amazing girl, Your smile always made my heart melt like no one else ever has done before, gazing into your eyes was like looking into a beautiful sea of tranquility and peace, Everything about you drove me crazy. Everytime i saw you i had butterflies, You some how after 16 months where still able to make me feel like i did on our first few days together.
I know its been 2 weeks since i last saw you, And just as i thought i was doing okay, I'm suddenly hit by the memories we shared from our happy past, Those moments where we looked at each other so deeply in the eyes and knew it was forever, To believe i had found my one in six billion at 18 was such an amazing thought, I guess your only allowed so much happiness in life before its taken from you quicker then a heartbeat.
To think you left me over some silly argument because you thought you weren't loved is such an upsetting thought, To think that on the day of our break up you where fine until pushing me to a point where i had to walk out the house, Where i had to just slip away for an hour to understand the pain i have caused you. To think that you could make a conscious decision to end such a long relationship in the matter of minutes still hits me.
I'm guessing theres someone else in the picture, Which makes me laugh because you always gave me the third degree for even talking to another girl, Which is fair enough, Because there was only one girl i ever wanted in my life, And that was you.
What makes me most angry, Is the fact that after all the mind games, False hope, And evilness through our break up, The times you played me, Told me you loved me, Told me you missed me, Met me, Kissed me, Held me, You where quick enough to simply jump into bed with some little boy, Do you remember the times we'd see people like him and just laugh ? You'd call them geeks, And make other funny remarks ! You used to look at other people like him and just say ewwww, Or just laugh, And crack jokes ? Maybe this was as fake as our relationship ? Yet you phone me having a go at me because you've heard i've had sex with 2 girls in the week we where broken up ? Do you really think i would be so dispenable and cruel ? The fact is unlike you i don't need to jump into bed with randomers to make me feel complete, Or to make me feel wanted, Unlike you i have friends who have stood by me through the tough times !
In reality, You are nothing more then a pathetic waste of space, You lied to me, You lied to your family, You lie to everyone, Your life is just a lie. I blocked all means of contact with you so you can't mess my head up, Because i'm slowly but surely recovering into the person i used to be, And i tell you what ! Once i'm there, Once i'm that guy i was 2 years ago, Once i've found the most amazing girl who i can give them the world, You'll look back on loosing me and see what a massive mistake you made.
Truth is, If you asked for me back, I'd say no, In fact you make me physically sick, You are disgusting.
Without you i'm strong, Independent, Happy ! I may miss you from time to time, But thats because i live in such a small town, And my mind is climatising with the loss of someone i was with for nearly 2 years.
I am almost there now.
You lost the best thing that ever happened to you.
I could have written exactly these words, I'm in the exact same position. Maybe they will grow up and realise what we gave to them and would have done for them but until then, although they were the ones to end it, we have the upper hand in the situation because we are better than what they are chasing.
All the best to you.
It's hard to consider how quickly things can change. 4 weeks ago today you were here at my house, we were together and laughing and just perfect... we had it all, we had our futures ahead of us and the best stretch of our lives right at our fingertips. I had just finished college with the highest possible grades, I had worked so hard for months and months for the day where I would finish and be with you, that's the one thing keeping me focused. I had a whole summer free to love you and I would have, that was my whole focus. And then just like that, in the blink of an eye, it was all over and I am left with a whole summer of forgetting you instead of loving you, it's all just wrong.
Now all is said and done, ask yourself whether your new girl would do the same for you as what I did, I very much doubt that she would. I seriously am thrilled that you're able to find happiness so quickly but what you have with her is not like what you had with me - we were much deeper and it meant a lot more. Maybe you're not ready for that, I definitely am not yet ready for that. I never thought when we went on that first date to the Deli and sat in the sunshine laughing and getting to know each other that we would fall in love the way we did. Perhaps I should have seen it coming that first day when I felt the butterflies when you spoke and the melty feeling I felt in my chest when you smiled at me, the sparks when we first kissed were also potentially a real indicator that this was more than just a fling; those sparks and butterflies and melty feelings which remained right to the very end... perhaps I should have realised that first day that we would turn out to be as great as we became.
I'm only 19 and it was scaring me a little bit that I'd found the person I wanted forever already, before I've seen the world. Maybe you feel the same and you need to experience the world as well. But maybe someday you can reflect upon this and think "actually, what we had was a really, really good thing". I think that the arguments more than anything were due to frustration of the whole situation, we're both so young and yet I felt like I had met the love of my life so my brain was like "run away" and my heart was like "this is the most important and special thing that has ever and will ever happen to you". Hence the arguments. And arguments are no fun, and when you're 19 and 22 you need fun. I think that is our main problem, there was so much laughter with us together but at the same time so much pressure and so much feelings, so little 'fun'. But regardless, I do hope that you are able to find that fun and maybe be yourself for a while, have some fun and meet some people.
But saying that, I do hope you remember us and appreciate us for what we were, for the meaning which was in our relationship and for the fact that it did run much deeper than most. I was hopelessly and irreversibly in love with you, more than I have ever felt anything before, and nothing will change that fact. Please remember that. Remember that no matter what happens in the future, whichever other relationships may fall apart, you had someone who genuinely loved you for you and who was willing to have done whatever it took to see you happy, including letting you go when you needed to be let go even though it has shattered my heart to keep away. Just please remember that.
You’re walking away from me just when I’m becoming my best and it’s a damn shame you never stuck around to see how good things would be. We could have had a really amazing future – we’d have had a good house, a loving family, so much laughter, good money coming in - but most importantly the amount of love which I had for you would have been the very best foundation, I would have treated you like gold and our future together would have been incredible. I hope one day this realisation hits home and you realise what a huge mistake this has all been.
I know that whatever it is your new girlfriend has got she will never love you like I did, she will never have that unconditional caring about you and looking out for you. I'm doubtful that she will willingly put up with what I did, and I'm doubtful that she would offer the amount of support that I would always, always give you. You will never have a future with her like you would have had with me.
But good luck to you all the same. I know that she isn't the one for you but I do hope that when you've had your fun and you're ready to settle down that you someday find someone again who loves you like I did. You need a lot of love in your life, you do deserve it, and I hope you realise your worth, realise the feelings which I had for you, and find someone who is going to feel the same about you as I did - but perhaps someone who is more willing or able to show it.
Last edited by Emmalina; 04-07-11 at 09:19 PM.
I hate that I still think of you. It hurts to think that while I'm missing you, wondering about you, I'm entirely absent from your mind. Do I ever cross it anymore? Or did you just box up your feelings for me and shove them back to the recesses where they will fade into nothingness?
I'm having a hard time being objective about you. You used to drive me crazy with your self-absorption and your inattentive behavior - but the fact is, you were really very loving at times, and ironically, one of the most dependable boyfriends I ever had. And I loved you. I still do. I loved you in spite of all your flaws and bizarre quirks. There are undoubtedly other women who will love you, but I can't imagine it will all be smooth sailing with them. I can't imagine you won't drive them crazy in the same ways you drove me crazy... and I can't imagine they will ever love you as purely as I did.
I don't know if I've been replaced in your heart yet - but you still have a piece of mine. I've been dating various men since you left me, but none of them have swept away my feelings for you. They help me forget you for a day, for an evening... but then I'm left with my thoughts of you. It's so ironic that you dumped me because 'I should have trusted you more' - but when I think about these other guys, I feel I can't trust them like I trusted you.
I wish you would call and tell me you've been having second thoughts. I wish you still cared and we could work things out.
Last edited by tremolo; 05-07-11 at 03:14 AM.
I dreamed almost the entire morning of you. Every time I would wake up it was you that I thought of, but none of it was in a good way. It was always the lingering idea that you are happier with someone else now. I'm sure you think of me, but its probably only in the guilty way of "I hope he's healing and moving on", than actual memories of the amazing times we shared and the amazing times we will never share in our future (our wedding, birth of our children, reading a newspaper and still flirting with you when we were in our golden years). You checked out of the relationship initially because you questioned my love for you the entirety of our relationship, claiming that I was always pushing you away. Yet, you moved on quick and would up with someone new just a week after you ended it for good. Here it is almost six weeks later and I'm still reeling in pain, in pity for myself, all for my love for you. Don't you see??? Does this not show you how much I love you and that I care? Then you say that you worry my sentiments were discovered too late. I half expected you to come back after a few weeks saying you wanted to see how green the grass was but you didn't. I hoped that you would come back when your new relationship was over, but I have let that go. Lastly I thought at the very least you would try to initiate a no strings attached sexual relationship should you not work out with your man, but I don't even think that will happen. The phone call, text, email, or FB message will never come through and I just can't pine away any longer.
You made me watch the Notebook with you because it was your favorite movie and you compared the two characters to us, recognizing and yearning for the passion and fire that we shared with them, but in the end, you went for someone boring and safe instead. I tried to tell you that I'd wait forever for you but you never thought you'd come back and you tried to tell me but I was a fool and wouldn't listen. I'll miss you forever.
So I am finally seeing clear. You don't want to get back together, you are only being "civil" as you say so that you don't burn any bridges. Well...hey guess what buddy.... f you!! Seriously I don't appreciate being lead on and be given mixed f***ing signals why you sit there and not miss me one god damn bit. You don't want to get together now...but maybe in the future. I F**ING HATE that response! I'm on the f***ing hook for the hope of one day it working out. I'm sssooooo over the bullshit at this point. I don't care....I'm pissed and hurt and mad that I gave you EVERYTHING and you don't give two shits about it. You'll sit there in your chair and say "I understand, I get it, I don't know how to help you there." BUT YOU STILL WANT A FRIENDSHIP. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. I'M DONE....DO YOU HEAR ME...DONE. I never thought that I would say this but I really and truly think that I'm to the point that I don't want to get back together with you. You continue to lead me on....and I being so god damn in love with you think that it means something. But it doesn't....you just want a friendship, you want to be "civil" and keep things "amicable" why? What do you have to gain from that? We aren't married, we don't have any children and you blanatly said you don't want to get back together....so why...why keep it aimcable? Why are you still talking to me? I'm so pissed...so pissed that I'm so in love with you...and so f***ing blind that I fell for someone that is so god damn clueless. If you wanted to be my friend you wouldn't be uncomfortable inviting me to hang out ....or be uncomfortable about who I'm going on a date with this friday. YOU STILL F***ING CARE!!! I hope to GOD it drives you nuts to think of me making out with someone else. Almost 4 months and I had hoped to be moved on by now...but clearly I'm not. Guess what....today is DAY 1 OF MOVNG ON. I'm done holding on...i don't wan to get back together with a person whom doesn't see the value in me our the relationship and connection that we had. You don't see it now...but trust me when I'm with someone else and I'm not texting you or calling and my facebook is completely gone...it'll hit you like a god damn train. Then you'll be the one sitting there missing me and what we had. God damn it I'm a f**ing idiot. Anyone reading this...take a word of advice....move the hell on. They are your ex for a reason. It's not worth holding onto something that's falling to pieces. If it is...then they will make the effort to fix it. God damn it...seriously.....I'm so over this now.
Well said!!!
I think you should contact your ex with that one.
And enjoy your date this Friday.
"All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley