Zach, if you know what you want right now, then go for it. If your looking for that happiness then more power to you. I know when I was 19 I definately had a different outlook on life then I do now. It was when I was striving for perfection and everything was new and exciting to me. I was not bitter, had little to no sexual experience, and I was truthfully a bit niave.
But, theres nothing wrong with that. Its time that makes you learn. The older you get, the more experiences you have, will shape how you feel on certain things. I know before I even had sex, I had these grand ideas about how it was all going to be. I was dead set on them. No one could change my mind.
Then I met someone who I thought would someone serious in my life. Instead he left me after we slept together a few times. Then I met another guy who I thought was the one....and I found out he was cheating on me. Then finally I just hooked up with someone because I felt lonely and wanted to feel loved. Sad, but true.
Now a yr and a half later, single, and semi turned off by bad relationships, Im content. But, I must say I do miss the little things. I miss the cuddling and the affection. The having someone to talk to about your day, that bond etc. Then there is the physical side I miss. And yes, sometimes I wish I could just have the no strings attached thing. Unfortunately though, my feelings get the better of me. But at this point, I think I could do without the emotional attachement. I guess its mainly because of my circumstances of NOT having time for a relationship with college and all.
Your not necessarily wrong for what you believe, but the others aren't wrong either. We all have our own preferences of what we want and don't. They can change, and they can remain the same. Just remember to do what feels right to you.
Appreciate the good times and learn from the bad times....
Very good post. I have had one relationship where I had such an amazing connection with the person. So passionate and affectionate. It really changed me alot after I had experienced it. I miss it too. I want that feeling and attachment with someone. But I know I can't just have it. I am single now and I have to learn to be happy with myself right now.
I understand very well the opinions of other, and I do not try to force my opinions on others... atleast intentionally. If I have I am sorry, never meant to. I respect other opinions, and simple like to talk/debate other certain things as to come to a reasonable understanding.
This thread was started merely for a self poll type of situation. I just wanted to know how many people thought what and for what reasons.
Fras- If you plan to get to know more about thats side of me your going to have to start another thread about a certain topic that will get to me and have at it.. I don't know what topic that would be, but it used to be religion for a long time. I am now quite sure about what I believe in life. So there isn't to much to talk about anymore.
I am very aware that I am 19 and what I think and feel right now WILL change in the future and will not stop changing.
The whole sex for just the feelings topic.... If I were to have sex just for the physical sensation... afterwards I know I would feel like I have done something wrong in my heart... it just simply doesn't seem right to me. After I have experiences the intimate side of sexuality it completely changed my whole outlook on sex. So much so that now I no longer want it without that passionate side. I'm not totally sure though, about what I truly want. Its like a huge battle in my head where I feel like its wrong but I want it so bad naturally being a guy. Do I follow my heart or my dick? rofl. thats pretty much all there is to it. And if I did follow my dick- would it cause me some kind of mental discomfort after it was all over with? Would I feel guilty? And why? Lots of things to think about and I really haven't a god damn clue...
There are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable; life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only Being. - Albert Einstein
Hmm I see this topic has swayed a bit. But based off of what I've read I'm going to toss my 2 cents in here.
I was in a relationship for five years. I'm twenty years old. It changed me as a person like most people couldn't imagine, and it crushed me when it was over. Her and I still talk, even though I wanted to keep it together we just needed to part ways. College was a big issue and she had her list of priorities kind of backwards (let's just say I didn't feel like I was even in the top 10). But oh well, life goes on.
So I kind of realized I was depressed. I was always down, never really smiled. It's not like I tried it, it was just the way I was. Finally I kind of woke up and realized I was getting into an emotional state I didn't want to be in. It was then I realized that... I'm a damn good guy. I have a lot to offer. If my ex couldn't see that, it's her loss. I did everything I could in my power to keep that relationship alive, and it didn't work. Overnight my confidence shot through the roof. And here I am, months later, doing great. I've been in a new relationship for a few weeks now and things are amazing.
In short, it seemed like right when I was about to give up, I somehow woke up and realized how precious life was. Even if you're having a bad day, your car was rear ended, you got fired at work, your girlfriend dumped you, it's STILL a day of your life, and it shouldn't be wasted. That's when I brightened up and have been doing absolutely great ever since. It seemed like within a WEEK of me having this sudden change of attitude landed me in a great relationship with an incredible woman. Granted, it's a new relationship, but you gotta start somewhere! And, well, I'm happy!
ON TOPIC:
I could never have sex with someone I didn't love. Everyone has different opinions, but I definitely couldn't be that physical with somebody and not have some meaning behind it. That's just my opinion, though. Everybody toots their own horn and has their own path they choose, and I respect that! But me? If there isn't any love involved, I'm not interested.