Why do girls with boyfriends flirt?

[Wakeup]

I think so, at least I hope so. Lol.

I just don't see the problem in going just to see how she acts. One of the reasons Im not sure its a date, is because shes a bit out of my range looks wise.

You don't see the problem? Okay: How would you feel if she was your girlfriend and she was meeting a new dude for dinner behind your back. If you think that would be a perfectly fine thing for your SO to be doing while you sit at home then so be it. If you'd be hurt or jealous should your SO flirt, ask another guy out, text and email another guy then don't go.

Do you know how to empathize? Think about how her boyfriend would feel. Can you have a ongoing, guilt-free, honest relationship with this girl? NO, no you can't not while she's already in a relationship. Can you spend holidays and birthdays with this girl? No, because she'll be with her boyfriend to do those things with.

Those are just a few of the problems even if you're just going "to see how she acts." P.S. There is no "out of your range" stop thinking that way. There is more to attraction then the physical shell.

My advice: Forget the attention whore (yes, that's what she is) and find yourself a gal who is single and actually available to do things with you and she doesn't have to sneak away from someone to do them.

[Mark1]

You're assuming he's a good boyfriend. If he's so good, she wouldn't be doing this with me.

Again, how do I know she doesn't want to just be friends with me? Some girls are naturally flirty like that.

[Wakeup]

You're assuming he's a bad boyfriend just because she is doing this with you. How about he's a fine boyfriend and she's just a shitty girlfriend who likes the attenton of more men than she knows what to do with? I will tell you right now women who get their self-worth through the attention of other men (while in a committed relationship already) make very poor long term partners in general. If she was single, go for it but don't expect her to change just because she's with you.

The level of how good either of them is neither here nor there and is non of your business anyway. The fact is she is being disingenuous to the boyfriend and if she was a decent in general, she would break up with him before attempting anything with you. I'm surprised you don't see that?

Again i ask you would you be okay with your S.O. being friends with men she just met and flirting with them one-on-one behind your back over dinner or any other activity?

[Mark1]

You bring up some very good points, ones that I agree with, actually.

But Im wondering if you seem convinced she wants more than just friendship from me.

[Wakeup]

I can't know what she wants from you for sure as I've never met or talked to her but, it doesn't matter if she only wants friendship. She is crossing a very fundamental relationship boundary by not inviting her boyfriend along to meet and get to know you as well. She no innocent little thang who doesn't know better. She has no personal boundaries in general and that makes her suspect.

A smart, confident and well put together guy would suss out her shit immediately and give her a wide berth. She just by what you've revealed of her actions is bad news overall and why would you want to thrust yourself in the middle of her relationship in even a platonic dynamic? Surely you have friends enough that you don't need someone elses girlfriend? I know you're not that desperate.

[Mark1]

Whoa, so anyone who is in a relationship must bring their sig other along when they make friends?

I dont know what she wants, either. Why not go and see, and if I feel uncomfortable, dont pursue any longer.

[Wakeup]

Whoa, so anyone who is in a relationship must bring their sig other along when they make friends?

No, I didn't say that. What I said is that long term male friends and going to dinner is one thing. Starting a new friendship with her without her making you and her boyfriend a friend as well, is GOING BEHIND HER BOYFRIENDS BACK.

I dont know what she wants, either. Why not go and see, and if I feel uncomfortable, dont pursue any longer.

so you admit that you are pursuing. You're just as bad as she is. Go, do what you want but I do hope you learn a lesson from this and she rips a part of you away so that you'll wisen up and quit acting like a desperate ninnny without options so you take anyone who'll have you.

P.S. If you pay for dinner you might as well start wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm a nice guy."

Your question was: "Why do girls with boyfriends flirt?" The answer is because desperate guys like yourself fall for their shit.

[Mark1]

Wakeup, I really appreciate your thoughts throughout this thread, you've given me a lot to think about. Thank you.

I am going to go, but I will be extra cautious and take note of her actions, and try to not get emotionally attached.

[Wakeup]

*sighs* You can lead a horse to water but, you can't make them drink...

[Mark1]

Texted her about an hour ago, haven't heard back yet. Damn it.

[Wakeup]

Darlin... she's with her BOYFRIEND. O_o

[Mark1]

So there's still a chance...

[Wakeup]

Yes... as soon as she finishes bedding him, she'll be right on your text ..

[Mark1]

If true, is it "bad" that doesn't bother me?

[Wakeup]

If true, is it "bad" that doesn't bother me?

Who am I to judge you? All I can say is "You are what you eat."