She left me...

[pariank]

Yeah I just slept myself off since my last post yesterday. That helped a lot (a bit bad though because now I'm cramming to get my homework done). I got a total eleven hours of sleep. Now that I'm awake though sadness stops by once in a while when my mind still drifts in thought of her.

Ohh... Yeah... I have my dreaded Theatre class today too...

[TAVS]

Wow you can sleep 11 hrs even with this on your mind? Wow. I could barely do 7

[Tone]

I got 5 last night, and I know you all care.

[pariank]

Yeah I'm not sure how I did that. I was worried that I won't be able to sleep at all. I just hope that her pressence there wont bother me too much.

[Junsui]

Depression makes you sleepy.

I care Tone, I slept that much too.

[pariank]

Hello everyone again.

My ex text me yesterday asking me if I wanted my "stuff back". I guess the things I got her. I don't really know what to do about this. The only thing I really want back is my dads DVD that I let her borrow. (don't want the others because it might just remind me of her)

I went through my stuff last night (My actual once this time) and I saw a box full of her love letters. I don't really know what I should do with it. Should I return it? Should I just trash it? Keep it?

She got me lots of stuff I don't know if I should return it (like she gave me her High School ring that I used to wear around my neck as a promise). I rounded it all last night and it's just sitting in the corner in my room.

I don't really know what to do in this situation.

thanks

[Vanilla Gilr]

Hello everyone again.

My ex text me yesterday asking me if I wanted my "stuff back". I guess the things I got her. I don't really know what to do about this. The only thing I really want back is my dads DVD that I let her borrow. (don't want the others because it might just remind me of her)

I went through my stuff last night (My actual once this time) and I saw a box full of her love letters. I don't really know what I should do with it. Should I return it? Should I just trash it?

She got me lots of stuff I don't know if I should return it (like she gave me her High School ring that I used to wear around my neck as a promise). I rounded it all last night and it's just sitting in the corner in my room.

I don't really know what to do in this situation.

thanks

Give her back her highschool ring. That's not something she can replace.

Gifts she gave you..keep. And she should keep gifts you gave her. Both return any borrowed stuff.

Love letters...either put them in shoe box in the back of your closet and forget about them...someday you may have happy memories re-reading them...sounds far-fetched but trust me...years from now...they could touch your heart in a completley different way...OR just tear them up and throw them out...either way...don't give them back. That's just mean...(and I don't think you're trying to be mean)...she most likely meant what she said in the letters AT THE TIME she wrote them...giving them back would be a slap in the face.

[pariank]

I don't like this even though I'm starting to get over it. I think this would be the hardest thing I would ever do since when we broke up. I just hope I can just go in there and walk out without breaking down.

Thanks Vanilla Gilr I think thats what I'll do. I reread all her love letters last night when I found them. I don't really know what I felt when I read them. I guess because I felt a jumble of stuff. Hm.... my goal today is to not create anymore drama.

[whaywardj]

I agree with Vanilla Girl one-hundred percent. But would add about the love letters: You COULD also do a cleansing ritual by burning them, one page and envelope at a time. Each time you burn one, imagine it's a memory or feeling of affection you're putting away, never to ponder on again. Also: Ever hear of FedEx? You don't HAVE to return anything in person.

Myself, I save mine. Re-reading them years later is amusing...and helpful when I'm feeling down on myself.

And, oh, yes: NOT creating drama is ALWAYS a VERY good goal to strive for. In ALL things.

[Vanilla Gilr]

Pariank, If you break down..then you break down. There's no right or wrong of that. Of course for your sense of pride, you'd at least like to wait till you're out of her sight to cry...but if that's not what happens and you cry in front of her...don't kick yourself for it.

And of course you don't really know how you feel reading her letters now...things are jumbled for you right now...this will not always be the case. Put the letters safely away.

[pariank]

I just hope her new BF isn't there today. Maybe I'll just stay at her front door or something.

[whaywardj]

I just hope her new BF isn't there today. Maybe I'll just stay at her front door or something.

I wouldn't do that. It's self-indulgent; playing to your own self-pity. Contributes to anguish lasting longer and helps inspire vindictive sentiments.

[pariank]

I wouldn't do that. It's self-indulgent; playing to your own self-pity. Contributes to anguish lasting longer and helps inspire vindictive sentiments.

Alright thank you for that. I just want to get out of this as cleanly as possible. I atleast want to exit with a little dignity.

another one of those dreaded days.

[whaywardj]

No prob. Ask me how I know. For the sake of those who didn't connect the dots, I did shit like that over and over again until I realized I was, later, using it to justify my hurt and angry feelings. Like: "Goddammit! I even stood out the f'ing rain to (fill in the blank) for her." Didn't help things one little bit.

BTW, bumping into the the new bf at such moments can be interesting. Both guys, usually, stumble over furniture trying to avoid getting in each other's way; one trying desperately to restain himself from saying, "Oh. So this is this bozo who's paying your bills now, huh?" The other, most assurredly, thinking, "Damn. What a looser. No wonder she dumped him. Hm. Maybe I should look into this a LEETLE more closely before I get too involved. What kind of woman hooks up with a jerk like that?"

[pariank]

Well I'm back and I survived. She wasn't even at home. I saw a new truck parked in front of her house(you guys probably know how badly I wanted to backup and crash several times into it). I called her to ask where she was and she said that she's out shopping at Target. I could hear the "bozo" in the background. She just comanded me to put her ring back on top of her dresser and to take my movie beside her TV.

Now I'm just back to where I started, feeling like total crap.

I thought I was over her. I hope that's the last time I ever have to talk to her. Maybe it's good that she wasn't there because I'll just probably get sick by looking at her face. I'm so disgusted. I want to exit out cleanly as possible and not even trying to get her back. It just seems like shes trying to rub the whole situation up my face.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of this whole situation.

I'm feel like I'm worse off that when this whole thing first started started.