Always friend zoned and frustrated!

[MerryH]

The first page is all "don't be a friend and don't give a shit about their problems"

I didn't see much of that on the first page...

I think you misunderstood that "don't be a friend" thing. You shouldn't try to just be friends with a girl who you have a romantic interest in. You should be pretty straightforward about your intentions with her. It's kind of a sneaky and conniving way to get into a girl's pants (or just date, whatever) because since you've never made your goal clear, she assumes you don't want to date her. So she takes your company at face value - platonic friendship. Inevitably, you, as her "friend," will awkwardly blurt out after weeks or months how much you're in love with her (of course you won't just be cool and ask her out on a date because you never had the balls to do that in the first place), putting her in a difficult position even if she might have some sort of feelings for you. It's an easily avoidable situation.

You, in general. Not YOU, you.

[evans]

I didn't see much of that on the first page...

I think you misunderstood that "don't be a friend" thing. You shouldn't try to just be friends with a girl who you have a romantic interest in. You should be pretty straightforward about your intentions with her. It's kind of a sneaky and conniving way to get into a girl's pants (or just date, whatever) because since you've never made your goal clear, she assumes you don't want to date her. So she takes your company at face value - platonic friendship. Inevitably, you, as her "friend," will awkwardly blurt out after weeks or months how much you're in love with her (of course you won't just be cool and ask her out on a date because you never had the balls to do that in the first place), putting her in a difficult position even if she might have some sort of feelings for you. It's an easily avoidable situation.

You, in general. Not YOU, you.

Well this is confusing.

We've heard two sides of the coin, and on the one side of the theory, making one's intention known to the girl is a bad move. As best to my knowledge, wouldn't anyone freak out a the thought of you wanting a relationship with them when there is no conversant between the two parties? The thing with human interrelationship is that they do not work on a binary principle. The dynamics, nature and variety of interactions between humans are more likely to evolve than remain stagnant over time. What's the deal?

[Take2]

There are no two sides of the coin. If a guy is attracted to a woman he doesn't know, his best chance is to find a way to approach her and be honest (although not scary and over-direct, of course) and let her know he would like a romantic relationship. If he is attracted at first and hides it and becomes friends, he risks her finding some other guy and becoming happy with that guy. If a guy is already friends and decides he likes a girl, honesty is still the best bet for getting a romantic relationship with her. And if the woman isn't attracted to the guy, there is little chance of a relationship forming. This is anot as complicated as people try to make it.