Virgins

[misombra]

thanks guys. once again you've done nothing to affirm my faith in humanity. don't worry, you're not alone.

[misombra]

oh yeah, and you both suck big, sweaty, hairy monkey balls.

[Only-virgins]

Hey,

I think those here who are waiting until they are sure that they have found the right partner are quite sensible. I am a virgin, and i'm willing to wait until i'm perfectly sure that the person i'm with is someone I trust, love and see myself with for a very long time.

I don't mind those who have already had sex before, but I don't agree with the comments here which appear to state that sex is very important. Sex, just as cuddling and kissing, is a sign of affection and love. It is indeed a step in a relationship, however it should never be looked upon as a goal to reach. What I mean is that it appears most people get into relationships with the intention of having sex ASAP. Why? It eliminates the actual excitement of having a relationship that not only healthily develops over time, but also could be the exact cause as to why many relationships don't work out - things are rushed too quickly.

My current partner has slept with 5 guys already, but she said shes willing to wait until i'm fully ready. I must admitt, when she said she had slept with 5 guys, I was a little shocked....

However, for the people here who see sex as just sex, heres some philosophy for you. Why is it that alot more people are catching sexually transmitted infections? Do you not think it could be down to the fact that most people have too much casual sex, with far too many people?

I agree with you but if your girl has already been with 5 guys....meh...might as well just be the 6th as fast as possible. Your kind of screwing yourself..but what ever floats your boat. I will wait till marriage for her or for me only if she is waiting as well. That could be the case with STDs...who knows...doesn't contraception prevent those mostly?

oh yeah, and you both suck big, sweaty, hairy monkey balls.

Don't be angry. Some girls and guys are sluts and they deserve to be called that so......

[Pilot]

I don't really like the fact that my g/f has been with 5 guys - infact when she told me it turned me off of her a little, however it really doesn't matter to me anymore because it's happened and if I complained about it now I will only end up ruining our relationship.

I don't see why I should have sex with her quickly just because i'd be her 6th guy. You never know, me making her wait might teach her that theres more to a relationship than sex. Afterall, she has wanted to out with me for 4yrs and finally has a chance now.

You may well be right regarding STI's and contraception, however we all know that contraception is not 100% safe, and we also know that when we are talking about 'casual sex' alot of people are drunk and probably don't even use contraception.

[Only-virgins]

I don't really like the fact that my g/f has been with 5 guys - infact when she told me it turned me off of her a little, however it really doesn't matter to me anymore because it's happened and if I complained about it now I will only end up ruining our relationship.

What ever you say. I dont have magic vision to see how someone feels about something and what their view is so I will not doubt that you are probably doing the right thing.

I don't see why I should have sex with her quickly just because i'd be her 6th guy. You never know, me making her wait might teach her that theres more to a relationship than sex. Afterall, she has wanted to out with me for 4yrs and finally has a chance now.

She doesnt know that there is more to a relationship then sex or are you assuming? I am not waiting with someone who has already broken the wait...no point and I would only be holding back my-self from alot of sexual satisfaction that should have been there a long time ago. Now if she is a virgin as well..then hell..I would wait with her. Like I said..different perspectives.

You may well be right regarding STI's and contraception, however we all know that contraception is not 100% safe, and we also know that when we are talking about 'casual sex' alot of people are drunk and probably don't even use contraception.

True.......true......

[Kel]

now now virgins and non virgins. we all need to come together and share in one HUGE orgy. that way everyone will be on the same level. all devirginized.

raverboy

HAHAHA thats funny...i agree...

[Danny_B]

Jesus H, this has turned into quite a thread...

An ideal sex partner? Would you leave someone you love because they are not the super porn star in bed that you would like them to be?

Anyone that would leave someone they logve for sex is a horrible person. Simple as that. Let the bitching begin. Try to cover for the lust that controls you

I never said anything about leaving someone cos they're not the 'porn star' I'd like them to be. All I'm saying is that if you wait and wait and wait for that 'special person' who you think is 'the one' for you, you're basically building it up so much, convincing yourself that it's going to be perfect... well, it's gonna be one hell of a let down if it ain't.

If I found out before marriage I wouls still marry her. If I love her I just wouldnt give a fawk. How come alot of people on here say that "sex is just sex" but do not take their own advice?

And you're not gonna mind if it's not all you want...?

Why settle for something you're not completely satisfied with? Answer is you probably will settle with the 'not quite great sex' for a while - but it'll only be a while - sooner or later you're gonna start to wonder what else is out there - and wonder if there is someone else who it could be just that little bit better with... and we all know what that may lead to...

I just think it's a good idea to 'try before you buy'. See what it's all about. I'm not saying sleep around - you just don't have to necessarily hold back. Agreed you should be in a loving relationship:

Sex is a physical way of expressing your love. If two people love each other and let their feelings out during sex...well...I fail to see how it can be bad.

So why wait then? If you love someone then why not have sex? Why do you have to wait until you receive a piece of paper telling yourself and others that you're married? Sure, I know marriage is a way of sealing your love... but that's sealing your love, it has nothing to do with how good the sex is, or wether or not you've had it yet.


Scenario: Hold out until the night of your marriage? Doesn't go quite as you planned? Well, christ, there's a problem for you guys straight away, and you haven't even been married 24 hours...

[Illusional]

hahahaha... this is a good thread. now finally we have a discussion.

raverboy

[KirstyM]

Personally I dont see the point in not having sex before marriage but it's a personal choice. Sex IS an important part of a relationship and, someone said already, if you havent had a relationship involving sex then quite frankly you are not qualified to advise on it.

The thing is, it isnt just about a good a person is in bed. If you are intend to have sex in your relationship at any point, which most people do, then it immediately becomes extremely important. Sex with somebody you love will bind you together, make you closer. You might not be brilliant in bed but it's the emotions that count and as you get to know each other and become closer, you start to communicate sexually more and learn what your partner likes and dislikes in bed. I think it is important to go through this process before marriage.

I realise you can get married and this still happens, you have sex, you learn your way round each others bodies, etc and become even closer, developing a new level to the relationship, and if that's how it works out for you then that's great.

But I think that is the minority. For most or many people who wait til marriage, I dont think it would turn out like that. For a start, the way you put sex on a pedastool by insisting on waiting. Making out like your virginity is so special and shouldnt be thrown away. Yes it IS special and no it shouldnt be thrown away but that doesnt mean you have to wait til marriage (nor does it mean just because you ARE married that now it's the right time to give it up).

You start imagining what it will be like and chances are it is going to be a bit of a let down. Obviously you can still work from there and it can turn ok but there's an equally good chance that this will throw you off and your sex life wont get better. It isnt just about being stuck with a bad partner - it's about not developing that closeness. If you dont enjoy sex or are unwilling to communicate then there will be something missing in your relationship, that could grow and grow and you could drift apart.

Secondly, you have never experienced a relationship that involves sex so what right do you have to declare that you should wait til marriage? What are you gaining by waiting? It isnt a guarantee that you'll only ever have one partner, one or both of you could have an affair, or the marriage wont work out - obviously you dont plan on these things happening but it's possible.

Personally I think the best way to look at sex is not to have it unless you are in serious stable relationship. You're not waiting until marriage to have sex, but youre not jumping around sleeping with people all over the place either. You ARE waiting (and I do think that you should) but you're waiting until you are ready and until the relationship is ready. Surely THAT is what is important? Marriage means nothing in effect of your sex life. Getting married does not mean suddenly that sex is right. I'm not criticising those who do wait, but I really do not see the point. It suggests there is something good and important about marriage and sex which is not true at all.

[misombra]

i totally agree.

[Only-virgins]

Why do you have to wait until you receive a piece of paper telling yourself and others that you're married?

You don't.

[Kareltjef]

I am an 18 (almost 19) year old girl, not fat, not ugly, not having braces, not wearing glasses or anything. But I'm still a virgin. Some people react really surprised when they find out I'm a virgin, some say it's a positive thing, some think it's negative. I think it is positive. Maybe you don't have to wait till marriage, but yeah, I think you should wait until you are really ready for it, wait until the relationship is serious enough. It's not always been easy to keep it this way... I've had opportities enough, and sometimes it's been hard to pull back in time... I've been curious enough, and I've been thinking why wait? often enough, but I think it's gonna pay off. When I get into a serious relationship, it will pay off, how hard it can be at times now.

[Only-virgins]

not wearing glasses or anything.

What are you trying to say?! I have glasses and I love them

[Illusional]

when it comes down to virginity, it doesn't really matter. it's all about how you view yourself that should matter. when i was still a virgin i could have cared less what people thought of me... but i still wanted to lose it by 18.

raverboy

[Kareltjef]

What are you trying to say?! I have glasses and I love them

you're right... some people look sexy with their glasses

guess I'm not making sense huh