Too many chances

[shh!]

Oy! This is a most disturbing thread...

[artyemi]

no. no. no.

slap yourself.

the spells don't work. tarot cards don't work. don't even think about those things. even if they work, do you really want someone to be with you because you used a spell on them?

remember, just because it makes you happy doesn't mean it makes someone else happy.

if you really love her, put it in your head that you want what is best for her.

love is selfless. you want what is best for the person, not what is best for you.

[Promise]

no. no. no.

slap yourself.

the spells don't work. tarot cards don't work. don't even think about those things. even if they work, do you really want someone to be with you because you used a spell on them?

remember, just because it makes you happy doesn't mean it makes someone else happy.

if you really love her, put it in your head that you want what is best for her.

love is selfless. you want what is best for the person, not what is best for you.

Yes, that is correct. Love is selfless, if it's true love. Take some time to sit down, and ask yourself if the love you contain really is true, and not just a facade, and the feelings you feel/felt for here were/is real. If you can answer yes to all that, then you must conclude that it's no longer about yourself, but about her. With that, it'll bring you solace. Trust me on this aswell.

[spartacus]

oh dont worry.... Id never buy any of that cr*p. I was just saying id seen it.

I do want whats best for her. of course I do. But that doesnt mean I can just shut off my emotions.

I am trying to keep busy. It may seem like a disturbing thread but have you ever slept in a hospital for 4 nights in a plastic chair and seen a relative die of kidney failure and then have someone you love dump you two days later? Believe me... it was a lot to take in at once.

[shh!]

Not every emotion you feel requires a corresponding action. Control your behavior; it's no wonder she is scared. I would be, too. I see a restraining order in your future if you continue on the course you are headed. YOu really ought to seek some professional help.

By the way, I don't doubt you are sad about your grandfather, but I don't think it is in any way related to your relationship problems or the way you CHOOSE to handle them.

[Promise]

oh dont worry.... Id never buy any of that cr*p. I was just saying id seen it.

I do want whats best for her. of course I do. But that doesnt mean I can just shut off my emotions.

I am trying to keep busy. It may seem like a disturbing thread but have you ever slept in a hospital for 4 nights in a plastic chair and seen a relative die of kidney failure and then have someone you love dump you two days later? Believe me... it was a lot to take in at once.

Curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity is killing you. By asking why, and continuing to ask why, you're inflicting more confusion, and in effect destroying your mental health as these thoughts are always consciously on your mind. You must accept now that it's over, and you are better than that. You must not ask why it's over as it will resolve upon it's own with time.

It's time to move forward, and put these past weeks behind. Revisit it when you are better able to respond to these difficult questions that keep reoccurring, but just not now.

Please take this advice, as it appears that no matter the reasoning, no matter the proof, no matter anything, it doesn't appear that you come to really comprehend it all.

We're here to help, but you have to be willing to listen with an open-heart, otherwise we serve no purpose, which would be shame as we are hoping the best for you, and care genuinely however it appears to be otherwise since it's the internet.

[spartacus]

In all seriousness I am listening to your advice and it is sinking in. I am trying to move forward and I know that one day I'll look back on this and wonder what all the fuss was about.

I know what I have to do. I just dont like the idea of doing it at the moment, but I will.

[Promise]

Yes, one day you'll look back and ask yourself what the fuss was all about. Even better is that you might even laugh about it, or even better, not feel any bitterness, and come to conclude that the time speant was real, and that the love truly existed, but ended because it was just not meant to be.

Sometimes there are circumstances in life that don't appear to have a reason or purpose to it. But, we must succumb to the thought that they will be resolve with time, and in the wierdest of circumstances. You might be sitting at breakfast one morning, looking at the paper, see/read something and have a revelation that could never spawn from conscious/forced thinking.

It's okay that the idea of doing all of this at the moment isn't too appealing, but know that it needs to be done, and a great start is no better than as to here and now. But tomorrow morning is also good too. It's up to you, and I'm hoping you all the best wishes.

[spartacus]

Tomorrow I will make a list of the things in my life that dont serve me anymore, or areas in my life which are lacking in substance. I'll then look at ways to improve them.

[Promise]

A great start. The first step is the most important one.

[artyemi]

Kudos Spar-- and we're here if you need us.

[spartacus]

Joined a gym today. Not really my thing but I know it will help.

[artyemi]

another step...

[Promise]

Great! Keep us updated as we're here to help. =]

[spartacus]

I went to see a councellor last night to get a bit of extra help. She explained what happened to my body when I started panicing aabout what my ex was doing etc, and she explained that when I think like that I need to apply some breathing techniques as the breathing counteracts the chemicals being produced in the brain which makes me stressed.