Advice giver needs advice: infidelity imminent

[IndiReloaded]

I've already decided to give this latest round of therapy one more shot for her although I'm not optimistic. Not putting as timeline on it, maybe a few months? If our relationship doesn't get better and I don't feel like I want to or can do anything more, I'm out.

Don't bother. Seriously, you are wasting both your time if this^ is your attitude about it. You've already lost the fight (the one in your head), that's clear as day from an unbiased perspective. If you can't flip the switch to 'on', you are doomed to fail.

No idea if any 35+ year old women are here (I highly doubt it) but maybe they can shed some light on things. I can tell you toys, other people, any spice it up suggestions, serious or otherwise were not seriously entertained. She still enjoys sex when we have it ... its just incredibly infrequent.

Yep, me. Several others. Its not about the physical, for her. You are focused on sex, I suspect she wants love. Doesn't sound to me you are up to it.

[Phil Davies]

Harsh advive and probably right. In truth, there is no win/win here. Because we all know she's not going to come out of this like Heather Graham in Boogie Nights. She's not all of a sudden going to be more social and hang out with friends and have wild sex on the regular. I guess in my mind I want to make sure I can do this with a clear conscience, maybe thats unfair if I checked out already.

I understand the connection between sex and emotion. Especially as a married dude, believe me I realize I can't just flip a switch and it happens. We have had romantic dinners. We come home and I try to kiss her passionately and we start to get into it. Then the dog barks, the baby cries, the timer on the dryer goes off, whatever and its immediately back to reality.

Also, and I'm not afraid to admit this ... years of this has demolished my confidence in when is the right time. If I stayed more persistent and maybe a bit more aggressive I can probably turn a maybe moment into a yes moment with a bit more passion and effort but when you're only batting .250 you tend to keep the bat on your shoulder. So now its sort of a catch 22. Again, we tried the niche shit, date night, role playing ... we're just not on the same page anymore.

EDIT: Also, everyone is focusing on the sex here but its not just that. There is no real social interaction outside of our house. I want to go out with her and do things regularly ... maybe then we can connect emotionally which would lead to sex. She doesn't drink and she doesn't leave the house. Thats really the primary problem, I know if I can get her out having a good time to break the monotony the chance of passion coming back would be greater.

[iamaninnocentma]

PhilDavies
first of all, I don't have a problem wading through typical message board bullshit from a couple of douchebag kids terrorizing a forum of laughably easy targets. I know a dickload of sad saps pouring their guts out to complete strangers is like shooting fish in a barrel for johnny suck lately pot stirrers with too much time on their hands to compensate for small penises and a lull in the call of duty servers so let me save you the suspense ... high fiving each other over hacked up text-style one line zingers doesn't impress or bother me. Your efforts of failed wit and mediocre sarcasm here are wasted, months if not years of thousands of tweet style thought fragments completely pointless, you'll still end up proving your parents right and not amounting to shit and none of your contributions to "loveadvice.net" or whatever the **** it is will be remembered or appreciated .... so you're just wasting everyone's scroll time.


Firstly, i dont play call of duty or any other computer game(tigerwoods2007 aside).

Secondly, My cock is of average size and girth.

Thirdly, My bird still likes ****ing me, and i dont have to troll nightclubs, with stupid teenage fags to try pick up bitches.

Fourthly, Point 4 means i win.

Fifthly, lol

[Phil Davies]

Truth.

Lie.

Lies all around.

Erroneous.

lol.

[iamaninnocentma]

Crying on the internet because my wife wont **** me-check

Crying because youre getting trolled-check

Lying about how many birds youve pumped-check

Lying about being able to please your wife-check

Making your wife depressed because youre a twat-check

lol-check

[Love'sReject]

Yeah, he mad.

[Phil Davies]

Crying on the internet because my wife wont **** me-check

Crying because youre getting trolled-check

Lying about how many birds youve pumped-check

Lying about being able to please your wife-check

Making your wife depressed because youre a twat-check

lol-check

.........................

[Love'sReject]

Wow....the troll just got trolled. XD

[iamaninnocentma]

.........................

Im not mad, this my hobby.

[iamaninnocentma]

Wow....the troll just got trolled. XD

Dont ruin another thread gayboy. Adults talking here.

[Phil Davies]

Think you need a new hobby, m8.

I kid by the way. The internet needs assholes like the world needs ditchdiggers

- Judge Smails™.

[iamaninnocentma]

Think you need a new hobby, m8.

I do karate also, so be careful what you say.

[Love'sReject]

I do karate also, so be careful what you say.

That's a euphemism for fingering his own ass.

[bcgirl]

Great question, even though i feel bad answering it, you seem young. This whole site seems young for christ sake. But when we were having sex regularly she would leave rake marks on my back and pant herself into a coma. You're just gonna have to take my word for it that I know what I'm doing. Women are all different and I adapt, she's always been a take your time ... slow and soft type. I can make her orgasm with any appendage. But after years and a kid and job stress and life and getting older its just grown infrequently. No idea if any 35+ year old women are here (I highly doubt it) but maybe they can shed some light on things. I can tell you toys, other people, any spice it up suggestions, serious or otherwise were not seriously entertained. She still enjoys sex when we have it ... its just incredibly infrequent.

Just for the record I am not a teenage 17 yr old. I am happily married myself after years of figuring out love and relationships etc.
as for sex, women and men are different obviously. Women generally take much longer to climax than men. So yah... If u come and are satisfied, it doesn't mean she has come! Also most women have faked, men gal for it. Women fake to try to turn on and please their spouse, or they just want to get it over with...this is where u need to study what her "spots" are so she will keep begging for more. And 80% of women can't orgasm with just normal penetration, this is where clitoral stimulation is necessary. After children, the vagina changes. Perhaps the type of sex u two were having prior to sex worked for her, now after kids the sex isn't working due to her physical changes and anatomy. Sex therapy may be a good solution. I suggest researching the female erogenous zones, orgasm and how to arouse certain female parts.... Porn and movies are not educational tools for this and gives the opposite ideas of what women need and crave. Start with this

[iamaninnocentma]

I disagree about porn not being educational. Ive learned a ton from porn. Youre so repressed and disgusted by porn, that you always see it as a bad thing. Some of those bitches are richer than the president. How else could a woman make that sort of cash?