I just don't feel pretty enough.

[Illusional]

sorry, maybe i'd better switch it up to my wine coolers... mmmmmmmmmm

raverboy

[Tedel]

You know? Also men feel that. I feel unatttractive because I'm full of debts and that makes me think every woman will surely turn me down if I tried, but you can survive if you just take a deep breath, remember who you are and live accordingly.

Attractive people are those who are positive and different, not just the ones who look well. Read this:

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What can make you more attractive
from Heptagrama.com e-magazine

Being serious, one of the most difficult things we face in life is finding a couple. No matter if we are teens, in our late twenties or passed our forties and looking for a second chance; finding another person who to share our life and issues with has never been —and will never be— an easy thing.

Maybe, society has put to much pressure on us and we all want to live a fairy tale for home. Maybe it has been us who did not know how to deal with the issue of dating with enough strength. Perhaps it was because our parents —responsible for both educating and teaching us the most important things in life as they are— hid this knowledge from us afraid of seen us lose "precious years of our lives" dating instead of studying, or they never learnt it either. The point is that, even in this globalized society in which we can ask everything anywhere and without needing to give our names, we still do not know what it takes to be attractive enough to the opposite sex... or, blessed with natural attractiveness as we are, we fail to know how to handle it.
What makes a person attractive?

Without further ado, being attractive is not a matter of one single thing. Physical appearance is important, very important for a lot of people, but if we do not supplement it with other features, it will decidedly play against us. If you want an example, think about all those "dumb blonde" girls you see walking in a mall. Yes, you can swing a dead cat there and find one! So, from this, the first point we can make clear is that physical appearance is not important on its own.

So what else must we think about? If you are reading this, sure you have been on a date before, so please remember those uncountable occasions in which you were sitting in front of that guy or girl and, listening to him or her... and you were bored to death. Yes, I know you are smiling, but please, get the point. Being a smart person counts in dating a lot. It is one of the most determinant things, as a matter of fact...

However, try taking a look at some of those thousands of online dating profiles and think about this. These are people who are typically willing to get married... Who appears more attractive for you? Which profiles do you click on? Why did you click specifically on those online profiles and not the others? You just liked them? Yes... but why? Do you want an answer? You clicked on those profiles because you felt them either more self-confident, more sincere, or perhaps both. Perhaps you did it without noticing, but you did it anyway. Take that into account.

Is there any fourth thing to think about? Actually, yes, and I think it is the last one. Anybody wants or likes to carry anybody else's problems. Are you in trouble and looking for support? OK, I am sorry to hear that, but you need to call your best friend, a psychologist, a priest, or soak your issues with a never-leaving bartender. Being part of a couple is not a way out of your problems: period. Get my point? On the contrary: getting involved with someone while you are down is one of the worst ways to use a person. If you want your dating to be successful and —above all— if you want to have long-lasting results, do not get involved with anybody as a way to get rid of your personal problems.

The last thing is being honest with who you are and what you want. Have goals in your life, and know your likes, dislikes, and wishes. People who know who they are and what they want are automatically more attractive than those who do not. Why? Simple. They make others feel more comfortable when talking them.
So what can you do to be more attractive?

Taking into account what was written above, I think the path is already outlined. The first thing you need to do is to take a look at yourself in a realistic way. Start making a plan of what you need to look better for others and carry it out. Include new clothes, new accessories... everything. Can a combination of diet, make-up and exercise help you look better? OK, go for it. Just don't put it off.

But don't forget the first part! Physical beauty is not all. Remember those uncountable occasions in which you were sitting in front of your date, bored to death, and become someone worth talking with and hanging out. Read a few articles about every topic, sex included, to move things up a notch. Take a look at how some guys and girls flirt, learn to laugh at yourself and how to make others laugh too. Believe me, an honest smile is always something people like to stare at and enjoy.

Next, be sincere (even if you are a lawyer). Believe it or not, people like flirting before the date; but during the date, they don't like it too much because during the date is when they really want to get to know you. Laugh, of course, but let Scheherazade be your guru and master. Play your game little by little, keep curiosity up whatever happens. There is no better turn-off than knowing everything about a person just from the start. mm... Oh, actually, there is just once: to discover he/she just was lying. Be sincere.

My last tips may be the best of all: Be patient. If you are in the mood of finding your mate, it doesn't mean that all the world will freeze just to please you. At the same time, be exigent. Some people believe that being with someone "meanwhile" is really going to help them. That's not true. It only brings troubles. Last, be yourself. There has never been and there will never be anyone like you in the whole world, so don't lose this invaluable advantage.

Good luck.

*** Thank you to the staff of Singles-Advice.com for the feedback they provided.

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