Is this unforgivable?

[fi123]

if she does initiate contact with you then i'd say meet up, considering you still have feelings for her. But if you do decide to get back together then you have to somehow clear it up that nothing like this should ever happen again.

Yes but if you say that to her, how will you be meeting her needs? She cannot help how she feels, you would just be saying she was wrong for feeling that way.

[adam95]

well she is wrong for feeling that way. yes i'm not saying shove it in her face that you're wrong but explain to her rationally. considering he warned her before that he will be really busy means that she already expected this. he even stayed with her while he was studying! imagine how distracting that is? she is wrong and she should know it. being lawyer requires a lot of work and she should be ready to put up with it if she wants to be with him.

[fi123]

If he can't meet her needs he shouldn't be with her. If she can't handle that he will be spending a lot of time working then he shouldn't be with her.It's not fair on her because SHE CAN'T HELP HOW SHE FEELS and he should let her go. That's the issue here.

I just don't get how some people think that if one person feels one way about a situation and the other person feels another way about the situation it means that the person who feels differently from yourself is WRONG for feeling that way. It's so egotistical to expect another person to feel the same way about a situation as you do. Feelings aren't right or wrong, they're FEELINGS. In other words a natural reaction to a situation, stemming from your personality and previous life experiences. People can't be blamed for their feelings.

[l_girl]

You know what I think. Have OP really talked to his gf to figure what is wrong? I bet you that it's not just the bar exam and the time studying for the bar exam that made her break up with you. Usually the problems have been there for a long time before it really erupts. Yes, she does sound like a totally biatch and you should tell her to f off with what you have told us but honestly you didn't get her side of the story. The REAL reason she did it and how she is feeling. Having been in a relationship for a long time where I've felt very neglected that it's bloody hard to tolerate after a while. I was extremely supportive when he was in school and now for his work while he tries to move ahead. Funny thing, I never felt like he supported ME with my life goals/aspirations. You say she is unemployed so that may have a big reason to how she is feeling. When you say you still spend time with her but just studying. Well I can't speak for her but I've always had a thing with my fiancee where he was with me physically but not mentally. He's there physically but his mind is a million miles away on everything else but me. Every once in a while it is nice to shower your gf with attention to let her know that she's not invisible to you and she's #1 vs #2 or worse at the bottom of the barrel. My suggestion, talk to her and make the first move if you want closure to this relationship. Regardless if you're going to give her a second chance is irrelevant right now as you are playing the silent treatment game. If you're posting here I am thinking that you need closure to your relationship.

[aic7780]

You know what I think. Have OP really talked to his gf to figure what is wrong? I bet you that it's not just the bar exam and the time studying for the bar exam that made her break up with you. Usually the problems have been there for a long time before it really erupts. Yes, she does sound like a totally biatch and you should tell her to f off with what you have told us but honestly you didn't get her side of the story. The REAL reason she did it and how she is feeling. Having been in a relationship for a long time where I've felt very neglected that it's bloody hard to tolerate after a while. I was extremely supportive when he was in school and now for his work while he tries to move ahead. Funny thing, I never felt like he supported ME with my life goals/aspirations. You say she is unemployed so that may have a big reason to how she is feeling. When you say you still spend time with her but just studying. Well I can't speak for her but I've always had a thing with my fiancee where he was with me physically but not mentally. He's there physically but his mind is a million miles away on everything else but me. Every once in a while it is nice to shower your gf with attention to let her know that she's not invisible to you and she's #1 vs #2 or worse at the bottom of the barrel. My suggestion, talk to her and make the first move if you want closure to this relationship. Regardless if you're going to give her a second chance is irrelevant right now as you are playing the silent treatment game. If you're posting here I am thinking that you need closure to your relationship.

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate all the posts and opinions. Could it really have been that bad if she wanted marriage shortly before this happened? My friends think she could have had a mental breakdown. So I still do not know what to do and I don't want to show my cards to her just yet. I she doesn't step up I guess I'll have to.

[adam95]

If he can't meet her needs he shouldn't be with her. If she can't handle that he will be spending a lot of time working then he shouldn't be with her.It's not fair on her because SHE CAN'T HELP HOW SHE FEELS and he should let her go. That's the issue here.

I just don't get how some people think that if one person feels one way about a situation and the other person feels another way about the situation it means that the person who feels differently from yourself is WRONG for feeling that way. It's so egotistical to expect another person to feel the same way about a situation as you do. Feelings aren't right or wrong, they're FEELINGS. In other words a natural reaction to a situation, stemming from your personality and previous life experiences. People can't be blamed for their feelings.

yes I agree, if he can't meet her needs then don't be with her. yes I get what you mean about people having different feelings about a situation like how i hate the fact that my gf talks to guys whereas she just sees it as a sociable thing, doesn't mean i tell her what she's doing is wrong. the only reason I'm saying OP's gf was wrong is cause her timing was real bad. I mean, ok you hate that he's too busy, just give him a little time and do it after his exam. and i believe she's wrong for just leaving him without bothering to discuss properly the problem and if and how they can fix it. i don't believe Op should initiate cause she broke it off and she seems to be fine considering she hasn't contacted him. is she does decide to talk, then please do cause you have to sort it out and not be left wondering on what could have happened.

look OP, i do not know your gf and what type of girl she is. so what i believe you should do is real and think about all the advice we gave you here and do what you think is right. cause if I tell you no don't initiate contact but you think its the right thing to do then do it. or else you'll regret it. so just think about what we all said ok? i hope you make the right decision. good luck friend.

[aic7780]

Thank you!

[fi123]

I just think she feels neglected pure and simple, and you doing so well in your career probably really makes her feel shit about being unemployed and maybe a teeny bit jealous of you. IMHO i think she just feels she is secondary to your career and always will be. I think that's why she ended it and i think if you want to be back with her then you need to somehow start making her feel much important than your career. Not by acting needy just somehow figure out a way to make herfeel important. How can ignoring her make her feel important. Enough time has passed i think. Good luck x

[adam95]

Anytime. Keep us updated ok!

[aic7780]

She emailed me! She is asking for forgiveness and said she wants closure so she can move on with her life. I don't know if she is playing games with me or she really means it. I am so angry and sad right now. Should I stay no contact? Should I say don't contact me unless you want to work on our relationship?

Thanks guys!

[ShannonMI]

She emailed me! She is asking for forgiveness and said she wants closure so she can move on with her life. I don't know if she is playing games with me or she really means it. I am so angry and sad right now. Should I stay no contact? Should I say don't contact me unless you want to work on our relationship?

Thanks guys!

Give her the closure she needs. I would think you need closure as well, right? Then have no more contact with her.

[aic7780]

Give her the closure she needs. I would think you need closure as well, right? Then have no more contact with her.

She also said she cant wait to see what the future holds for both of us. Mixed signals! I know woman play games though so I am so confused.

[fi123]

Has she suggested a meet up?

[aic7780]

Has she suggested a meet up?

I don't know I haven't responded yet. My friend suggested short and sweet something along the lines of: Good Luck, Take Care. She wrote me a novel of an email.

[IndiReloaded]

She emailed me! She is asking for forgiveness and said she wants closure so she can move on with her life. I don't know if she is playing games with me or she really means it. I am so angry and sad right now. Should I stay no contact? Should I say don't contact me unless you want to work on our relationship?

Thanks guys!

Be honest with her. Tell her you are still angry but maybe you could meet up next week. That she should call you later this week. Don't commit to anything else at this point. You still need to figure out what you want.