Female Expert Analysis Needed!

[vashti]

::sigh::

Are you asking me if I think an older woman woman might ever be interested in YOU? If so, then yes. There are all kinds of women in the world. I have no doubt that your sort of "confidence" would be attractive to some women, especially those who haven't grown up enough to know how to pay their own bills, cook, and clean up after themselves. I just don't happen to hang with such women. I also don't hang with men who fit your stereotypical definition. Where do you do your socializing?

[Charlie Boy II]

I used to tie myself up in knots about what a wanker Scorp is. Now I find it funny.

[GrkScorp]

Where do you do your socializing?

Not at sports bars.. or bars in general..where about 40% of NY does their socializing (my age range).. sadly, people my age also still go to clubs where they will stand or sit and have their ears blown away by ridiculously loud generic electronic/rap music.. that entails an other 25% roughly..

I'm a cafe' person.. with friends, I usually go to cafe's which have bands playing.. like the blue note and such.. more quiet cafe's to just sit, drink, and talk.. hookha places on very casual days to blow off some steam.. and on more sensual days.. places like TAO or the Boathouse..

as far as recreationally going out.. if you're going to go to a sport's bar to watch the game.. just get tickets for the game and go watch the game.. we always get tickets at MSG for the Rangers, I never go to see the Mets in queens, or the Knicks, because I don't follow those sports, and i'm not interested..

aside from that, musical productions or shows down on broadway.. the guys are not usually up for it, but I always have company.. and it may sound boring, but as hard as it is to believe, it's not..

[Charlie Boy II]

do you take your black turtleneck and spoken word with you on your more "sensual" days Scorp?

[GrkScorp]

do you take your black turtleneck and spoken word with you on your more "sensual" days Scorp?

not really.. just try to stay away from wearing jeans.. those are the days were we just want to treat ourselves to something not-so-ordinary.. but I know what wasn't a real question.. and I regret to have to ignore the implications..

anyway.. I would still very much like to know.. not if an older woman would be interested in me.. but why women are interested in older men..

[vashti]

Maybe it's because they don't assume that we need them to boost our sagging egos.

[GrkScorp]

Maybe it's because they don't assume that we need them to boost our sagging egos.

so.. why do you need them then? : )

on second thought.. let me answer that.. i'll give perhaps the most creative answer anyone could think up of to put someone like myself down.. and let the general male population feel inadequate.. I guess that's the goal of these posts no? so yeah.. how would I answer if I was a woman? hmm.. something like.. "we need them because REAL men, older men, don't need women to tell them why we need them, they're old enough to know exactly why we need them"..

now.. enough topic-jumping.. I would still like to know why women who are 25 find older men more attractive.. (besides financial factors which i've taken into consideration, and differences in "raising required" which don't apply in this situation)..

[vashti]

so.. why do you need them then? : )

Many of us DON'T need them. We WANT them. There is a difference.

[alidile]

well, i think it would be very silly to discourage your friend solely based on how she looks.
however, that being said, i guess she's a cute girl but there's 2 kinds of cute girls. she's the generic one and i'm in the other category. we don't get along. why? she looks stupid and like she'd get drunk and you'd have to slump her over your shoulder. also, she looks as if you every said anything existential she would probably have a break and start crying or tell you you were so silly and needed to ease up. well, that's my 2 cents, poor girl, if anyone ever found pics of me online like that i'd be MAD pissed.

[alidile]

oh, but she's cute.

[Mish]

now.. enough topic-jumping.. I would still like to know why women who are 25 find older men more attractive.. (besides financial factors which i've taken into consideration, and differences in "raising required" which don't apply in this situation)..

They are attracted to older men because they know how to work them and push the right buttons. Something you get with experience and age.

You know, when you first start riding a bike you keep on falling down. Can't go too fast. Going to slow makes the bike tip over. And you can't ride any other bikes except your own cause they're just too wierd and complicated. Suddenly 10 years later you're doing the wheelies, you're jumping up and down hills on it, you go too slow and too fast just because you can without even thinking twice about it. Doesn't matter which bike you ride or who rode it before you. You feel the bike, you can work it. And the bike knows that too.


~There's a key to almost every woman

[GrkScorp]

Many of us DON'T need them. We WANT them. There is a difference.

If by "many" you mean more than 50%, then that's not the case in NY..

now.. yes yes.. we get it.. "clap, applause".. yay! you now got an imaginary independence award.. you'd make Dr. Ruth proud with denying your basic human needs..

anyway.. i'm going to go at this solo.. but thanks for all the input everyone.. i just don't want to drone on with all the needless and pointless jargon that's going to follow about how women don't "need" men, in an attempt to feel vindicated and self-fulfilled.. but as Socrates said.. each member of the opposite sex is a half-circle.. together, they form a complete circle.. so until both meet, they are both incomplete

(i'm anticipating the person who thinks they're going to be smart by saying something like.. oh derf.. if they're all half circles then I guess homosexuals can get together and complete a circle..)

all I have to say to that is YES, that is the case; because the circle doesn't denote physical completeness, rather, emotional completeness..

[GrkScorp]

They are attracted to older men because they know how to work them and push the right buttons. Something you get with experience and age.

Is this something you get with experience? Yes. With age? No.

Isolate the two.. If a man were to get older, and come into no contact with a woman; he wouldn't learn to push these buttons (so to speak).. so you're falling into the causality trap..

(sample after sample of married men showed that they were more bald than single men.. therefore, researchers once concluded that marriage made men become bald.. this was later disproved by a statistician who noticed a correlation between married men and their age.. so it was age that made men bald.. not marital status)

similarly, it is experience that is attractive (if the button-pushing is the case & point).. NOT age.. the two usually go hand-in-hand.. (key word; usually)..

If your button pushing theory is correct, then I still have to expand my psychological type to cover a larger range of women.. but as far as sexual bottons go, I know I can hold my own just fine.. as far as emotional buttons go.. I have a flexible & adaptive style of communication and negotiation.. really big range.. from super-softie all the way to hard-@ss-boardroom-Trump.. and it actively adapts depending on the person and situation.. I think that's the case for most people.. but they're plaged by their "comfort zone boundries".. which creates friction and stickyness.. so they can't switch gears (so to speak) that fast.. not a problem with me.. because I have zero-tolerance for B.S. so i'll give genuine attention and sympathy to sensitive issues.. but i'll knock them asside and tackle all attempted mind-games before they start to build-up force..

But this doesn't disprove your theory.. in fact, i'm impressed.. Women in general would assume that (age) entails (experience) which in turn would entail that desired level of (button-pushing).. the only one out of those three which is clearly obvious and visable is (age).. so it acts as the first indicator.. it makes the first impression.. "he's old, he must be experienced".. or in my case.. "he's still a baby".. enough said..

So this gets women to make type-I errors (incorrect rejection) with younger guys.. and type-II errors (incorrect acceptance) with older guys.. based on the deviation from their expectations.. so it would naturally follow that older men are (accepted) more often.. while younger man are (rejected) more often.. therefore, it's clear that older men are more attractive relative to younger men if the only criteria is age.. which to the naked-eye and uninformed female is usually the "only" criteria, or at best one of the "few" she can base an opinion on..

I guess it's pointless to try and allow myself to look older.. She already knows my real age.. i'd rate my first impression a 4 out of 10.. so things don't look so rosey.. but I don't seem to care.. lol.. hopefully she'll take a chance, and find it worth-while..

[vashti]

You see, this is exactly the reason older women often can't take younger men seriously. They refuse to acknowledge they need to learn anything, and have the arrogance to say they know more about women than women themselves.

I've already acknowledged that you could find an older woman who would date you. However, your main criteria seems to be that she must be attractive, insecure and needy. It just seems to me that you will find a lot more of these if you date in your own age range.

As for me, I find that regardless of how attractive males in their 20s are (and let's face it, that is usually their best selling point), it usually isn't enough to compensate for the level of arrogance. I acknowledge there are exceptions, but not many, and the exceptional one usually isn't the guy who thinks he is the exception.

[celestialxs]

Just my two cents here:

From reading the conversation between GrkScorp & Vashti, I'm compelled to say that, for me (a 27 yr old woman), a younger man usually IS inexperienced. It's very true what Mish was saying about experienced men knowing the right buttons to push for women.

Unfortunately, Grk, most younger men that women have tried dating really don't know which buttons to push or how to "work things" so-to-speak. I'm not implying this is the case for ALL younger men, just most.

I can speak from experience when I say the opposite can happen too though. An older man who has had very little experience with relationships (let's say he's always been commitment phobic and has only had one serious, long-term relationship) will have trouble finding the right buttons too.

So, my point is, you are at an unfair disadvantage because you are younger than NY girl. However, not all hope is lost if she knows anything about how varied men really are. If she takes the time to get to know you, then you'll have the chance to show how much experience you have for a man of your age (which, I think most women my age will agree, is RARE).